One medium step forward, two giant steps back. That’s been this Vancouver Canucks’ season in a nutshell.
Several times already, they have gotten closer to turning their fortunes around and getting the fanbases’ hopes up, only to spin around and send a steel-toed boot sailing right up into fans’ faces. And Saturday might’ve been their finest, most diabolical work yet.
As if to cruelly test the limits of sanity for every hockey fan in the city, the Canucks followed up their “statement” win over the defending Cup champion Panthers by laying the hugest egg possible in a
5-1 loss at the hands of everybody’s least favourite torturers, the Boston Bruins.
The Canucks and the Rogers Arena crowd — surprisingly sparse as it was — had every reason to feel like this was bound to be the home team’s night again. First, they had the momentum from systemically shutting out a potent Florida offence on Thursday. Second, J.T. Miller had fit seemlessly back into the forward corps during his first game back, after missing the previous few weeks for personal reasons. And across the ice would be a Bruins team mired in their own awkward season, smarting after back-to-back drubbings at the hands of the Jets and Kraken.
But right from the jump, the Bruins completely smothered the Canucks in every zone and refused to allow them even a Christmas crumb of momentum.
For those of you pointing to the fact that the Canucks are also
dealing with a seasonal flu, I do hear you. The flu makes your life totally miserable, an experience I know pretty well after dealing with it myself all this week. Even right now I’m only 92% sure that this game really happened, and that it wasn’t some fever-induced hallucination.
But you can’t chalk up a team effort that resoundingly bad to just standing a little too close to Derek Forbort or Kevin Lankinen in the team kitchen. And when the going got tough, Rick Tocchet and his staff had their entire ideal forward group available and could barely muster any real chances until their fate was sealed.
The sooner we go through this game tape, the sooner we can burn it in one of the Costco dumpsters.
It could’ve been any other player’s poster to get ripped by a windstorm. But of course it had to be Petey’s.
The jokes aren’t exactly the highest hanging fruit, but they do write themselves.
Best ‘Zaddy said he was going to get milk’
While Jake DeBrusk and Danton Heinen got a nice little highlight pack in their return to Boston, no such prize was given to Nikita Zadorov and Elias Lindholm. Contentious contract negotiations aside, Zaddy and Lindy’s time in the Vancouver cast was more akin to Hazel Wassername than Liz Lemon. Loud and hard to ignore don’t beat main character arcs.
Thatcher Demko knew his return wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. But his defencemen might’ve taken the ‘put my popliteus through hell’ comments too literally.
The Bruins were given cart blanche shooting privileges, peppering Demko with eight shots in just over four(!!) minutes of play, including four of this netfront scramble that could’ve easily opened the scoring.
What Demko didn’t lose in his time away was his ability to battle for every rebound, and based on his stretch across the crease to rob Mark Kastelic, his flexibility is already making a quick comeback. It would’ve been a more heralded moment in the game story, if not for Tyler Myers forgetting he isn’t an NFL linebacker for a touch too long.
The moment the Rogers Arena crowd booed Brad Marchand off the opening faceoff, a fatal mistake was made. No one thrives in the villian role like the Rat King, and fans woke the sleeping bear- or Bruin.
Boston’s power play, entering the game with the worst success rate in the league, barely faced any real resistence from the Canucks’ penalty killers. And just like his role in the NHL’s new hit commercial (second in a row for them? What world are we living in?), all Marchand had to do was slide in for his cue to steal the spotlight.
There’s no amount of primping and preening to the crowd that could make me like Brad Marchand, but he sure does know how to sell a rivalry through taunting the crowd and allowing former Canucks Lindholm to break a points drought in his shortlived home.
Best ‘heart shrunk three sizes this day”
“That Boston power play passing was extremely rude, but could we potentiallly see it again at even strength this time?”
Ask and you shall recieve, unfortunately.
The David Pastrnak line with Morgan Geekie and Pavel Zacha feasted on the Canucks’ overmatched back end defensive pairs. Here Mark Friedman and Erik Brännström couldn’t multitask boxing out the stickhandling of Pastrnak behind the net as Geekie waited at the netfront, largely forgotten, waiting to snap the puck over a fallen Demko.
Ten minutes into the proceedings and the Canucks are facing a two-goal deficit and a 9-1 shot difference. We’re taking “slow start” to places it’s never gone before.
Best Lukewarm Reception
Today was the first time this season I’ve gotten the fabled Student Rush ticket text. And even if I didn’t have a game recap to write, I wasn’t about to fork over the $109 they were asking for. And apparently neither did a lot of you.
Maybe increasing the prices ten fold after one good season can come back to bite you in the butt if you don’t repeat that success.
Best tugging at a shirt collar
It’s hard to win or tie a game when you can’t muster a single real chance on net. Jeremy Swayman, who might’ve been doubting himself after the 8-1 loss to Winnipeg, got the easiest ride into this game with four total shots getting to the net in the first.
In fact, here’s all four of them!
The Bruins made things more difficult by getting in front of six other shot attempts, but the quality of the shots weren’t the kind a team that’s dialed in is taking.
Best throw in the damn towel
You know the effort level is lacking up and down the roster when Thatcher Demko, in just his second game since April, feels the need to charge out and jump start a rush chance under pressure from Pastrnak.
You can knock a lot of Canucks’ compete levels so far, but not Thatcher’s. He’s motoring to try and keep his team in the game with 40 minutes still on the clock to mount a comeback.
So how do Friedman and Carson Soucy reward their goalie? With an immediate defensive breakdown off a neutral zone faceoff that gives Pavel Zacha a breakaway. Zacha outwaits Demko long enough to tuck the puck under his pad, and the roof is caving in completely on the Canucks within minutes.
Best “I missed my friend’s Christmas party for THIS?!”
If you chose watching this game over fun holiday plans with your friends and family, you are seen, heard and understood. Even in the game of Kelly Sutherland’s dreams, he took some small pity on the Canucks and sent John Beecher to the box for tripping J.T. Miller.
But the chance for the Canucks’ power play to minimize the damage only tilted the ice so much further.
First Nikita Zadorov was somehow able to collect the puck in his own and walk all the way to the front of the Canucks’ net like a knife through hot butter, but couldn’t muster a shot. Then Demko was forced to make a pair of five-alarm saves on Marchand and Kastelic in a similar defensive breakdown.
Then adding insult to injury, the last great scoring chance of the man advantage came off a ricochet that Marchand collected, setting up a quick passing play between Charlie McAvoy and Trent Frederic. That’s three great scoring opportunties for the Bruins on a Vancouver power play; the Canucks never even came close.
At this point I can feel this game turning me into the Joker, or just a generic clown for deciding to spend my Saturday night this way. We are the products of our own decisions. Eat Arby’s.
Best Salt in the Wound AND Lemon in the Eyes
Before the Bruins elected to put it in park and let the Canucks pretend to wrestle some momentum, Boston’s fourth line saw Erik Brännström carrying the puck behind his own net and decided to twist the knife a little.
Brännström’s pass around the boards was easily disrupted by Andrew Peeke, poking the puck to an open Marc McLaughlin. McLaughlin floated the puck on goal with the power of a frisbee toss, only for the puck to take a deflection off of Brännström’s leg and through the wickets.
It’s 4-0 Boston, and I’m just waiting for Gary Bettman and the Keepers of the Cup to walk out and make this reliving nightmare complete. Or the first star of the game to somehow be Tim Thomas.
I’ve heard of wanting a hole to crawl into during a bad performance, but this is ridiculous. (*Please applaud*)
Usually we’d pay little mind to a random divit in the ice – and usually we’re not grasping for fun straws – but one thing John Shorthouse mentioned late in the third period caught my attention.
According to Shorthouse, the rink has seemingly felt colder on recent game night than it has in the past. His hypothesis was the Rogers Arena ice crew trying to make the ice a little faster and crisper than it’s been capable of in recent years.
Over the past few seasons both Canucks and visiting players alike have lodged complaints about Rogers Arena’s rink for being too warm and slushy, creating more wobbling pucks and bad bounces off the boards. Bad ice might impact both teams evenly in a game, but the Canucks are the ones who have to skate on it 41+ times a year.
I’m no scientist, but the in-arena temparature might still need some fine tuning.
Best Respect in the Handshake Line
The second period ended with some slight fireworks, after Quinn Hughes nearly hit Brad Marchand with a high dump-in attempt. Marchand, ever the gentleman, waited until Hughes was looking back to towards the bench before cross-checking him in the back.
No matter how bad the results are getting, you cannot mess with Captain Quinn without facing some retribution. And that’s where we got a sign of life from J.T. Miller.
The few times teams have taken a run at a Canucks’ star the game was usually too close to risk a penalty. Here, Miller has the Rat King in a headlock faster than you can say “Mice to see you.”
If there’s any hope left for Vancouver in this game, it’s going to be based on whether or not they can funnel some of that last second rage into a strong finish.
ORRRRRRR…
Best Case for a Running Clock
…They could immediately make the exact same mistakes they did in the first two periods.
The Bruins’ final goal was another case of allowing McAvoy and Pasternak to gain the zone without resistence, as Friedman barely boxed the defenceman out and followed him to the front of the net. His actual check, Pastrnak, was able to draw Demko out of position before wrapping the puck into the open net as Friedman watches on.
The end is near.
Best Time is a Flat Circle
Best One Ray of Sasson-shine
Practically no one on the Canucks deserved a goal tonight except for one person. Max Sasson’s short time in the big leagues has shown he can more than weather his own against NHL competition, and tonight he finally got rewarded for it.
After Miller forced a rare turnover at the B’s blueline, he hands the puck off to Sasson who caught Jeremy Swayman asleep at the wheel with a five-hole shot.
The A-Sasson may not have gotten the celebration he would’ve in a better game, but the little victories still matter. Congrats Max.
A game like this one is impossible to find a scapegoat for. Demko and Sasson found their moments, but beyond them the lack of any real fight down the stretch to the final horn was glaring. Does it fall at the hands of Pettersson, Boeser and DeBrusk who seemingly no-showed this game? Miller had an assist and tackled Public Enemy #1, but he still went missing for portions of the night. Does Adam Foote and the defensive group have to shoulder this one for hanging Demko out to dry so often?
It might be time to look a little deeper at how Tocchet has adjusted over the past couple months, or lack thereof. The Canucks were supposed to be a speedier team creating their scoring chances in transition with a quicker paced offence compared to last season’s. But instead, they’ve seemingly taken steps backwards on that front.
A month ago Tocchet was apologizing to fans for the team’s play on home ice, and how he’d gotten outcoached by visiting teams. Fast forward to now, and it’s become an alarming trend to watch Tocchet’s team get picked apart with ease by the people across the bench.
That’s why in his postgame availability, when asked if he’s getting enough compete and energy out of his players, this quote stuck out like a red flag.
Whatever game plan Tocchet and his staff want the Canucks to execute, it’s falling on deaf ears and the lack of try is Exhibit A. If Tocchet is openly admitting that his staff is losing the room in mid-December, that’s an incredibly bad sign for the immediate future.
If being fresh off a season where you coached a team to within one win of a Conference Final can’t even earn you buy in less than halfway through the next, what chance does this team have long term?
This game has to be the wakeup call for this locker room that a night off won’t cut it. You can’t keep a Stanley Cup window open if you keep closing it on your fingers.
You know what they say. “Those who can’t play, ref.” Or maybe not in this particular case.
We didn’t have much time to hound the calls of Kelly Sutherland today, in a game where the Canucks didn’t help themselves enough to even warrant an officiating rant. Nut this reply to a Quads tweet from earlier this afternoon gives us a window into where the great divide is for NHL refereeing.
Apparently, former ref turned NHL Director of Officiating Stephen Walkom has excellerated a pipeline to NHL officiating that goes through the lower pro leagues, as opposed to promoting existing refs from other leagues.
Why does this matter? While lifelong refs are inclined to call the game by the letter of the law, players turned refs are more likely to call penalties based on feel and game management, creating a rougher atmosphere with obvious penalties being overlooked.
This is the type of game the NHL wants. One where the chippier teams are able to drag opponents into the mud and calls are based on vibe checks. Hope you’re ready for a lot more Kelly Sutherlands coming down the pipeline.
Best ‘Welcome and We’re So Sorry’
“Son, it’s time I shared with you the harsh realities of being a Canucks fan. Have you ever heard the tale of Darth Messier the Leader?”
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