On a night in which the Canucks finally put forth a 60-minute effort, Sportsnet only showed 45 of them.
Despite any technical issues, however, the Canucks’ resounding 5-1 win over the mightiest fowls to ever fly together felt like a statement game.
Not a huge statement, mind you. It was a victory over Anaheim after all, so you can’t exactly anoint the Canucks as the next in line for Lord Stanley’s tea mug based on this.
But what you can do is sit back and take in a team that’s starting to show some of the identity they had last year. Instead of grinding out a close, one-goal victory over an opponent they should by all rights be beating, they instead chose to make the Anaheim Ducks look like amateurs in comparison. If this was a dating app, Trevor Zegras would be wondering why he ever bothered trying to date Vancouver because, clearly, the Canucks were out of his league.
With Kevin Bieksa watching with split loyalty from the crowd, Vancouver systematically broke the Ducks apart to the point that I am convinced Sportsnet’s AI triggered due to detecting a level of violence not allowed on network TV, hence the endless commercials.
All of this, and I haven’t even mentioned Quinn Hughes getting his 300th career assist faster than anyone else in NHL history not named Bobby Orr and Brian Leetch. Paul Coffey? Go kick rocks.
It wasn’t just the points from Quinn, however, it was his entire game. Yeah, three assists are cool, but the puck possession monster was on another level and tilted the scale so heavily toward Vancouver that it felt like all those morning gym workouts were for nothing.
Quinn Hughes’ Corsi was an otherworldly 22 to 5 in his favour. The aforementioned Zegras? Absolutely clowned on by Quinn Hughes, as Trevor finished the night losing 11-1 in Corsi against Quinn, and managing zero shots when on the ice against him. He ended the night with one scoring chance attempted with Quinn on the ice. One single attempt.
Do you know how long your night has to feel when Quinn jumps over the boards to match up with you? 19 shifts and 14 minutes of ice time, and Quinn basically nullifies 80% of that from you. Quiet quitting might be in Zegras’ best interest at this point anytime Vancouver rolls through town.
If you want a quick visual of how Quinn Hughes led the charge on this beating, here you go:
Normally you have to hear glass shattering before you see a mud stomping this vicious, but here we are.
All of which is to say that, yes, Quinn Hughes is the best defenceman in the NHL. So let’s all listen to Andy Bernard and remind ourselves that the good times are indeed right now, and they aren’t over yet.
Let’s hit up some gifs.
Best Garland dropping the bass
The Canucks have set the tone over the start of the last few games with big hits, and this time it was a crushing hit from…Corolla?
Hey, sometimes Garland doesn’t want to have to grind out a puck battle for two minutes along the board to get the zone exit, sometimes it’s nice to just make it quick and easy.
I imagine Robby Fabbri saw it was Garland and was all set to go one-on-one in a board battle, only to find out Corolla woke up and chose violence today. He even puts his hands up to brace for the gentle glide into a wall scrum, only to find himself dropped to the ice.
Best straight to jail right away
With Aatu Räty serving a penalty, the one, brief, lone bright spot for the Ducks occurred on this powerplay:
Really savour it and take it in because that’s about as offensive as they looked the entire game. A point shot that got away from Kevin, or as Silovs calls it, the hardest thing in the entire world to stop, and it was 1-0 Anaheim.
You can even see fans cheering in the crowd as if Quinn Hughes wasn’t about to turn the keys in the engine and drive the tank all over them.
This was like someone getting a kill in Warzone in the lobby and then trash-talking into the mic, only to realize the guy was AFK. Next thing he knows, Zegras is hot-dropping on control, and Quinn Hughes is beaming him out of the sky with a handgun while Trevor slams the “report for cheating” button a hundred times, in a flailing attempt at salvaging a shred of his self-worth.
Best slow burn
To be fair, the Ducks did get their lone high-danger chance of the night on a Leo Carlsson shot:
All it took was Carson Soucy randomly falling to the ground – something that has occurred at a weirdly high frequency this season.
Spicy used to be the Giraffe Whisperer on that second pairing, but almost a dozen games into this season, and that duo has people worried about not just hockey, but life in general. It’s hard to get through a day when you’re constantly looking over your shoulder and wondering if somehow Soucy or Myers has caused an odd-man rush to appear in your life.
Best A for effort
OK, so the Canucks finished the night one for five with the extra man, but at least they scored, right?
And I have even better news, Elias Pettersson finished the night with six shots, leading both teams in individual shots, somehow barely outpacing Daniel Sprong’s five shots.
The bad news? Elias Pettersson is still struggling to place the pucks in the top shelves of the net where you keep your old iPhone with THOSE vacation pictures on it:
That’s also some pretty decent puck movement from the Canucks on the powerplay, which isn’t usually the case for this team. Garland breaks into the zone quickly, finds Hughes at the point, who sends it to EP40 down low, but Elias can’t finesse that puck top corner. It’s a move he’s tried a couple of times this season, so it feels like something he pulls off in practice. It’s a concept of a goal, and it feels like he will score on it eventually.
Also watch Conor Garland when EP40 misses the shot high and wide, he gives his stick one quick twirl. If you watch him play, he is constantly twirling his stick during the game at all times. I feel like that’s his version of making sure he’s not stuck in a dream. Stick twirling is his totem.
Best my client
The Canucks decided enough was enough at this point and let Brock Boeser score a powerplay goal to tie the game up before the end of the first period:
You know how I know Anaheim is bad at the game of hockey? They let the Canucks score a powerplay goal.
That being said, that’s a gorgeous tip from Brock Boeser, giving Quinn Hughes his first of three apples on the night.
That tip is the equivalent of Brock tossing his hair back — minimal effort and making it look way too easy. Poor Elias is sitting there wondering why the puck couldn’t go in off of him, but don’t worry, my child.
Your time will come shortly.
Best moving on up
That’s pretty good company to surpass a man who amassed his scoring talents during the course of one fateful summer.
Never forget the summer of Ryan shooting the puck a million times against his garage.
Never forget.
Best GOTI hockey
The Canucks have struggled to score goals, well, most of the season, so it was a delightful surprise to not only see five goals on the night, but to also see one of them coming off of the rush:
I feel like we’ve seen the Canucks try to bank pass off the boards to get behind the defence all year, and it hasn’t really given much in the way of results.
This, though? This is just good old-fashioned “ram the puck down their throats” hockey, started off by Danton Heinen using puck possession and body positioning to get the rush started. By spinning off his check and absorbing the hit, he gets the puck to Kiefer Sherwood with room to skate.
Kiefer then sends the puck over to Erik Brännström, who then gets the zone entry and sends the puck back with a deceptively quick backhand pass. And before you know it, Jack Bauer is telling Lukas Dostal that the only reason he’s still conscious right now is because Kiefer doesn’t want to have to carry him.
So, three things to take away from this play:
  • One, the Canucks have a new third-line hotness this season in Heinen, Teddy Blueger, and Sherwood. This allows them so many combinations when Dakota Joshua returns, as they haven’t even tapped into last year’s hotness of Garland/Blueger/Joshua. Their forward group is looking very solid right now.
  • Erik Brännström had perhaps his best game as a Vancouver Canuck. Now, I know when Quinn Hughes has ascended into the heavens and shed his human form that it’s easy to look good in a game of hockey. But even with that being said, Brännström was the second-best defenceman on the night from either team. And that slick offensive skating game he brings to the table is very noticeable, especially in comparison to the struggling Slippy McGee and Chaos Giraffe.
  • Kiefer Sherwood is turning into a problem for the league. No, not in the “oh man he’s gonna wreck teams by himself” way, but just in an “Ah man, why did Nashville let Vancouver get that guy” kind of way. He’s turning into that Chris Higgins mould of “Could he be a top six guy for a stretch?” which is how you know you might have an elite third liner on your team. Though I will say he only had three hits on the night, so he better not be buying into his own hype. We’re used to 10 hits a night, Kiefer. You set the bar, not us.
Best going full CTU
Earlier in the first period, Sherwood tried to throw a hit on Zegras as he was approaching the Canucks blue line, only for Trevor to hurriedly dump the puck into the zone, spinning away from the hit.
Sherwood had some, ahem, choice words for Zegras, which amounted to him questioning his courage in avoiding a hit.
All of which brings us to the end of the period in which Jack Bauer attempted to complete his mission, only for Zegras to gain the upper hand:
Zegras was perhaps more surprised than any of us that he won a physical battle, so he made sure to chirp about it, to which Kiefer let him know he’d see him and his mouth later.
It’s pretty easy to see how Kiefer is going to be a fan favourite in this market. He’s out here screaming into comms about the rats camping harbour, and he’s never felt more like one of us.
Best two birds one stone
Is Elias Pettersson unable to score goals? Well, why not just shoot a piss missile at 100mph toward his general direction and hope it barely touches him and goes in?
Please note that before the goal, Conor Garland is the person bringing the puck into the zone and once again trying to set up Elias Pettersson for a goal. I believe this is the 182437th time he was found Pettersson in the slot with a nice pass.
Also, please note that Corolla Garland being the forward who carries the puck in for a majority of the zone entries on his line is both a sign of why he’s a Corolla and also that Elias Pettersson’s skating is clearly an issue. EP40 made his money off of finding ways into the offensive zone, and now he’s using Garland to prop his game up for him.
Which, on one hand, it showcases how important Garland is to this team, where he can be your elite third liner but also the guy who helps rehab your star player.
But it also shows that Elias, despite this goal, is just not the same player right now that he was a couple of years ago.
Anyways, that dapper clapper slapper from Quinn Hughes made it 3-1 after it kind of maybe touched a thread on Elias’ jersey, giving him his second apple of the night.
Best the Lost Minutes
So, at one point during the period, the feed cut into a commercial mid-play. Not for everyone, but for a lot of people using Sportsnet Plus.
So, for those of you who saw the middle part of the second period, I hope it was enjoyable? I assume Quinn Hughes skated really well? Kiefer threw a hit? Miller swore at someone? Tyler Myers hit someone with a steel chair? I can only imagine what went down.
All I know is I sat and watched five minutes of commercials before a screen came up declaring it a commercial break for another five minutes.
All of which can be yours for the small extra fee of $5 a month on top of what you already pay.
Yay.
Best let’s get back to the action
The feed returned, so I did see Teddy KGB setting up Carson Soucy of all people for a mini-breakaway:
It was shown in what can only be described as 240p and reminded me of seeing the internet on a phone for the very first time, but hey, at least it was a live feed.
Which then immediately went into another set of commercials.
Best refresh
After realizing I had to refresh my browser endlessly in order to access the premium Sportsnet content, I finally got the game to resume in time to see EP40 get some shots on net:
Did those shots have velocity? No. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw him shoot the puck and thought to myself, “That would really sting to block that.” I feel reasonably confident I could block one of his shots, and we’d both look kind of embarrassed at how easy I walked it off.
All of which makes this situation so confusing on the outside looking in. Is it confidence? Is it an injury? Is it a combination of both?
I will say that he has played better as of late. I do truly think his confidence is rising.
But his mechanics still look way off compared to what we know he can do.
Best let’s get right back into the action
The stream decided to reappear just in time for me to watch the pig man play give and go with Vinny Desharnais before almost finding Brännström for the back door tap-in:
You can tell when Nils Höglander is feeling it because he starts dancing in the offensive zone. I sometimes worry that the Rick Tocchet System of GOTI Perfection can be quite strict, and it hampers Nils a little bit in terms of letting him cut loose to showcase his offensive creativity.
But in games against Anaheim when they’re already dead inside because Quinn Hughes has erased their will to live? That’s his time to shine, baby.
Best name a better duo
Pius Suter only likes to score in the last minutes of a game or on hard-to-place shots. Breakaways? Too easy for him, he’s not about that lifestyle:
You don’t feed Suter; Suter’s gotta hunt.
Other things you might have missed during Sportsnets Premium Service was Daniel Sprong getting run over by a car:
And Kevin being Kevin:
I feel like we don’t talk enough about how Kevin Lankinen has made Thatcher Demko’s absence meaningless? This is clearly Demko’s team, but if Kevin keeps this level of play up, and if Thatcher struggles for a game or two, you’re going to hear people whispering, “I wonder if Kevin should get a start,” which isn’t something we’ve ever really had under Demko.
Not people whispering the name Kevin, the goaltender starting thing. People probably whisper “Kevin all the time” in the lower mainland. Mainly Burnaby, I assume.
Best sexy stats
Worth the price of admission.
Just a run reminder about life before Quinn Hughes, this was the defence behind Alex Edler and Chris Tanev in 2017:
  • Alex Biega
  • Michael Del Zotto
  • Erik Gudbranson
  • Philip Holm
  • Ben Hutton
  • Derrick Pouliot
  • Ashton Sautner
  • Troy From Richmond
Though very clearly, Quinn Hughes could probably drag that defensive corps to a 100-point season as well.
Best stoned out of his mind
Conor Garland continued his Sisyphus-ian task of trying to set up Elias Pettersson for goals, only to see Elias once again thwarted by a quick poke from the goalie:
I feel like the missed attempt from Elias takes away from the poetry in motion that was Conor Garland dragging two players with him so the puck could bounce off the backboards right to EP40 in the slot.
Much like that backhand attempt on the powerplay, we’ve seen Elias try and drag the puck across the crease only to get poked away by the goalie, and it happened once again on this play.
Which, hey, at least he’s getting looks on net? Which doesn’t feel great when you see that $11.6M price tag hovering over his head? Like if he was a lime, you’d be complaining about the prices of limes, even if it did make your Club Soda taste better, I get it.
Best calming presence
Kevin just makes these saves feel so automatic:
The guy is the definition of locked-in right now. I time my bathroom breaks with Kevin killing off a penalty because I’m that confident nothing is going to happen. You can almost see the Ducks players shooting the pucks because they’re paid to do this, not because they believe they’re going to score.
Best not saying but saying
Again, it’s still Demko’s team, but it feels like the Canucks haven’t had this much strength in nets since the Roberto Luongo/Cory Schneider days:
At this point, I’m starting to think that Lankinen kicked that puck out into a counter-rush for Jake DeBrusk on purpose.
Best little things
Again, mechanically, maybe not there yet, but mentally it feels like EP40 is finding his groove a bit. When he’s at his best, he’s a 200-foot demon, and tonight he was very clean in his own zone, including shutting down Frank Vatrano from getting a dangerous shot off after a faceoff:
When he’s engaged, he has an active stick in the defensive zone.
Best there’s a word for Zegras
The only clean shot Zegras got off all game:
There was no penalty on the play but the good news is Sportsnet didn’t randomly cut to a commercial out of nowhere.
Best finishing touches
With the Ducks just wanting to go home at this point, Quinn Hughes’ elite skating allowed him to drag two defenders towards him before finding Brock Boeser at the point, who ripped a shot that Jake DeBrusk managed to deflect past Dostal:
Watching Quinn Hughes is just really fun. No offence to Philip Holm or DJ Michael Del Zotto, but seeing a true, elite, number-one defenceman on the Canucks is enthralling.
Also, if Bobby Orr, Brian Leetch and Paul Coffey all won a Stanley Cup, surely Quinn Hughes is allowed to win one too.
Best the call was coming from inside the house
For whatever reason, the Canucks were out for blood on this night, as they continued to hunt for goals despite being up 4-1 and with only 5 minutes left in the game:
Crazy P is the problem, I’m telling you. The Canucks can’t win with his energy in Rogers Arena. It’s too much “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T SCREAM” energy and not enough “Hey, let’s have fun and cheer on the boys!” energy.
Best what are we doing here
The NHL at one point took away the goal from Pettersson, thus robbing Quinn Hughes of his 300-assist milestone, which I will mark with this gif of Brock Boeser heading the puck like a soccer ball:
Best are you sure about that
We then found out minutes later that, oh, no, Elias Pettersson did in fact graze the puck on Quinn’s shot. So, once again, Hughes was given his 300-assist moment.
I will represent this by showing the fifth goal of the night:
That third line of Kiefer/Blueger/Heinen continues to intrigue me, even if that final goal was clearly during a play in which Anaheim truly had no effs to give anymore. The Ducks seemed more annoyed that the goal stopped the clock and extended their misery more than they were made about being scored on.
This brings the Canucks to a solid 2-0 on the road trip against the two teams they were supposed to beat.
The real test will be against the Los Angeles Kings on Thursday, a team that has, for some reason, decided to try and stop winning every single game 1-0.
See you soon.
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