The Vancouver Canucks teamed up with local musicians Marie Hui, Arielle Tuliao, and Clay Imoo to bring you the most wonderful and cringe-worthy holiday video of the year. Watch it and let yourself be overcome with holiday awkwardness and cheer. 

We start with some acting from young Ben Hutton. He kills it, bringing the audience a genuine and convincing performance that sees him describe two of his favourite things: saucing pucks and smiling. 

Marie Hui then launches us into the Canucks edition of the classic Sound of Music song. But while Julie Andrews loves whiskers on kittens, the Canucks’ song insists that Jannik Hansen has no time for small cats. Honestly, Hansen is entitled to his opinion, but if he hates kittens, it is not one of my favourite Canucks things. 

The rapping portion of the song allows for Ben Hutton to showcase once again his skills as a dancer. Jake Virtanen looks profoundly uncomfortable. 

Clay, prodigious parody-creator, makes his first appearance at 0:47 of the video, but only has time to say “Sup” before Arielle appears to rhyme “Sbisa” with “cheesy”. This is potentially the best line in the song and from now on we all have to call him Luca Cheesa. 

Meanwhile, this snowman looks like it’s about to murder Jake Virtanen. Be careful, Jake. 

The next bit of the song goes: “We bleed blue and green, we trust the Sedins, and above it all believe in 16”. A couple of things here. Firstly – true, the Sedins are trustworthy men. I would trust them to walk my dog or look after my house when I’m away. They nailed this one. The Linden bit comes across as a little pushy, though. 

After giving the rookies some love, the song references Vrbata’s goal that came with 0.2 seconds left in a game. I liked this because the Canucks lost that game. This lyric captured the true spirit of the team this season this season – some fun and impressive moments but with poor results overall. 

Then we get an even closer look at Jake Virtanen looking intensely uncomfortable. His eyes look so tired. Did Jake never watch America’s Next Top Model as a kid? Did Tyra Banks never teach him the power of the smize? 

Meanwhile, Ben Hutton is, of course, familiar with the smize. 

Keeping thinking about saucing that puck, Ben.

Overall, both Hutton and Virtanen do fine until they make eye contact. 

The video wraps (haha because it’s both a Christmas video and rap) with some more dialogue between Hutton and Marie. Ben wishes everyone a happy holiday. It was cringe-worthy at some points but a fun experience. I request that all of the Swiss guys team up to do some kind of yodelling special next.