I leave for one game, and I come back, and apparently, the Edmonton Oilers kicked the living sh*t out of the Vancouver Canucks? They massacred poor Kevin? JT Miller had his worst game of the season? But, apparently, Elias Pettersson had his best game of the year? What happened?
The good news is if ever there was a way to solve your woes in the NHL, it’s to face a team in the midst of a long, tedious road trip, which made the Calgary Flames the perfect bounce back opponent.
And make no mistake about it, the Canucks have a long and storied, and dare I say it, proud history of finding ways to lose games like this. To find ways to fail in a very winnable situation.
Is your third cousin’s recently concussed nephew playing his first NHL game ever for the opposition? The Canucks have high odds of getting him his very first shutout. It’s the hockey equivalent of putting your hand on an open flame so you can feel something, anything. Pain means you’re still invested in this team.
So, by pointing out the fatigue of Calgary, I don’t mean to diminish the win in any way. You still have to show up and close out these games, and despite it being only being a 3-1 victory, it was about as emphatic as a win can be.
It’s just as JT Miller pointed out post-game, the Canucks knew Calgary would be, to paraphrase him, dead in the water in the second period with the long change. So while the first period was sloppy, the Canucks started the second period like a bat out of hell, making you wonder if they would do anything for love, including that.
Key highlights of the game for people in transit who just want the quick notes so they can finally catch up on the group chat:
  • Elias Pettersson continues to play better and better. Is it confidence? Is it hard work? To hear Rick Tocchet post-game, it’s a combination of the two. Putting in the extra effort in practice is translating to results on the ice in the eyes of the Canucks coach.
  • JT Miller rebounded from a horrible game against Edmonton, and I’m not going to lie; a lot of that started after he got hit in the balls with the puck. Sami Salo energy is a real thing, and not enough people talk about it.
  • Kevin was Kevin again. You thought Edmonton was going to break him? Hardly. Dude cleaned up any mess that came his way and once again gave the Canucks a top five starting goalie in net.
  • Jonathan Lekkerimäki played his first game and didn’t look out of place. Which is about as good a compliment as you can give a rookie in the NHL. Not everyone is going to come down the wing and go bar down like EP40 did in his first game, but all things considered, he was solid defensively, had a couple of good looks at the net, and didn’t look out of place. That’s a win for the rookie.
  • Which dumb teams feel dumb for not picking up Erik Brännström on waivers? Two-point night, including the third goal of the game. More like Erik Brainstorm, and you know what, I started that, and I didn’t have a landing spot, and I am so sorry.
Let’s get to the gifs, shall we?
Also, if you’re wondering at any point, “Wyatt, why did you make gifs in a retro VHS level quality more akin to the very first gif sent on a Blackberry?” It’s because the Rogers Arena Wifi is apparently in tune with JT Miller’s lower region because it, too, was down for the count for half the game.
Best blue skies all day
JJ Holiday, cousin of Doc, was this close to having to buy a new jersey Tuesday night:
That’s a tidy bit of business on his very first shift! He pulls out a little deke to get some room in front of him, passes to Pius Suter after gaining the zone, then heads to the net and puts himself into position to get the puck back.
My main takeaway from Jonathan Lekkerimäki, or “Killer,” as my phone struggled to autocorrect the last name, was he seemed to be in the right spots most of the time. Rick Tocchet spoke about not wanting to overwhelm the rookie with systems talk in his first game and just wanted him to go out and shoot, so it’s a pretty good sign that his base game is in a decent spot if this is him playing without knowing the Tocchet GOTI system.
The best part about the post-game scrum? Thomas Drance asking the coach about wingers needing to embrace the GOTI system, otherwise they might find themselves getting Sprong’d or Kuzmenko’d into the ether. Tocchet went to bat for Jonathan:
“You want to score, you want to be creative. But there’s times when you gotta be in a spot for us that’s critical, you have to show a conscience. You gotta have the conviction to be there…if you’re the reload guy and two guys dive in and you’re not really reloading, you’re kind of coming back slow, I have a tough time for those types of players…I think the kid has a conscience. He’s gonna make mistakes, but I think the difference with him is that he’s obsessive with his game, I think he really wants to be successful without the puck.”
Summary: Sprong and Kuzmenko didn’t protect the GOTI, but he has high hopes for Killer.
Best Glames almost score
The “Calgary Glames,” as I hastily wrote during the game, almost scored multiple times in the first period were it not for that old faithful combination of Kevin Lankinen saves and desperation defence from the skaters:
You could almost smell the cheap Axe Effect simmering along the ice as the Canucks did their best to cover up the stench of sloppy hockey, but the good news is if you’re going to slop up your steaks, there are few better to have around then Quinn Hughes.
He basically takes away the stick of Matt Coronato and prevents a goal, but deep down, I also kind of assume Lankinen would have done some wild pad save to keep the puck out anyways?
The point is the Canucks did start the game a bit disorganized.
Best America the Beautiful
Am I the only one who whispers “Henrik Sedin” whenever someone does the long bank pass down into the corner?
This was pre-testicular impact JT Miller, which is why he didn’t score here. I just wanted to make that clear.
Best Quinn Hughes cooking show
Watching Quinn Hughes is something we all have to remind ourselves to never take for granted:
No offence to Jyrki Lumme, a legend in his own right, but his forays into the offensive zone feel like they went at a solid two miles per hour compared to whatever ludicrous lightspeed Quinn Hughes plays at.
If it feels like half the time the Canucks are simply looking for a way to get the puck back to Quinn Hughes, it’s because they are.
I wish we all had a Quinn Hughes in our life where when things got rough, we could just pass it over to them, and everything would be fine.
Best Selke nomination
I don’t think I’ll ever be prouder of a vote than my third-place Selke vote I sent Conor Garland’s way last season. The guy is just a security blanket in all three zones.
Even when you think you’re about to get out of your zone with the puck, that guy is all up in your business:
Mikael Backlund just wanted to have a normal day. He was just trying to get his shift done and go about his life. But nope, Corolla Garland is on top of him, poking away the puck and keeping the puck in the zone.
Even more, after Pettersson’s no look pass is a little out of reach for Conor, anyone who has watched Garland knew right away he wasn’t losing the battle for that loose puck. He leans into Conor Zary and easily boxes him out of the puck and quickly finds EP40, who then finds Nils Höglander for the brief few moments of the game where you don’t wonder if Rick Tocchet dislikes him as a player.
Does Rick like the pig man? It feels like he’s on the same GOTI test that Sprong and Kuzmenko failed.
I worry about him; that’s all I’m saying.
Best balls of steel
Did he get hit in the balls?
There are two things that make a man look like this:
  • Eating food from the fridge that you were “pretty sure” was still good from last week. That weird taste from the taco meat is surely just cumin.
  • Getting nailed in the nuts. Conked in the cojones. Grilled in the goolies. Annihilated in the acorns. Punished in the profiteroles. Lambasted in the loins. Gutted in the giggle berries. Soured in the sweetmeats. Kicked in the klackers. There is just a special amount of pain that comes from getting drilled in the dingleberries where you do, in fact, have to take a knee to process the pain. Merely bending over on the bench is not enough. You need to get down and pledge fealty to all the Gods you must have angered in order to ensure you never have to deal with this type of pain again.
But as Sami Salo proved to all of us, getting lanced in the love spuds either breaks you or makes you come back a stronger, more powerful version of yourself.
And as we shall see, getting nudged in the nadgers unlocked the true potential of Jimothy Timothy Miller on this night.
Best figuring out his range
Mere moments before the Calgary Flames scored the first goal of the game, the Canucks hit the post on a Carson Soucy shot on a setup from JT Miller:
I also noticed my mouse came into frame at the end there, and I just feel like I need to have a long talk with myself in the mirror.
The point is, Pew Pew got absolutely nothing on the shot, so it wasn’t actually that great of a save, unless Charlie meant the save was under the weather and didn’t feel that good, in which case, I very much agree.
Best tweets preceding unfortunate events
Look, they are not wrong. It’s just the hockey gods are an ironic bunch which is why they probably made this happen next.
Best whoops there it is
Who amongst us hasn’t bitten off more than we could chew at Costco?
Yes, Filip Hronek thought he could handle a hot dog, pizza AND fries, but as we have all come to learn, just because it’s a good deal, doesn’t mean you have to do it.
As a result of Hronek embracing the Love is Blind nature of not knowing what he’s going to do on his big day, he kind of hedges his bets on this play by not skating backward and just sort of skates in the general direction of the puck. He gets turned inside out, and Kevin makes the save, but then, in one of the few odd moments of Hughes’ career, he makes a play that leads directly to a goal against in the form of a tap-in for Justin Kirkland.
Bad luck, coupled with sloppy defence, and it was 1-0 bad guys.
Best long change in the second
It appears the report of the death of Elias Pettersson was an exaggeration.
I cannot count how many times I heard a variation of “he’s cooked,” “careers over,” “time to move on,” from a market that did the same thing to the Sedin twins.
Now, is Elias Pettersson fully out of the slump? He needs more than a week of good games for that.
Did Elias Pettersson deserve criticism over the last calendar year of hockey? Absolutely.
Does that mean he was washed and had the worst contract in the NHL? Not even close.
Good players like Elias don’t just fall off a cliff like that; they just don’t. At least not until they’re 34 and they discover their passion for interior design is stronger than hockey.
Which is why I am not surprised to see him starting to put it back together:
The cynics amongst you might say, “Well Wyatt, that was just a tap in,” but man, he was in the right places all night long. Not only that, he was snapping passes around and making moves to skate around people, something we haven’t seen a lot of from him recently.
In short, he looked like the confident star player we all know he can be, minus the fun Instagram videos he used to do. Has he seen bbno$ lately? I don’t know, and it keeps me up at night.
Either way, the Elias Pettersson redemption arc appears to be underway.
Best relax
People seemed really quick to want to put Vladar on a pedestal, and I’m not quite sure why?
Honestly, I like that move from Teddy KGB. That’s the move Trevor Linden used in the 1994 playoffs in Game 7 to beat Mike Richter; that move has HISTORY in this town. Driving one way and softly floating the shot back the other way? Inject that into my veins.
Also, I enjoyed how this play started because Danton Heinen made a hit, which led to Kiefer Sherwood poking the puck forward, all in the space of like one second, in order to give Blueger the breakaway.
The Canucks have now had two seasons where it looks like they are going to have one of the best third lines in the league, which just makes me fondly remember the days when Brendan Leipsic, Josh Leivo and the captain of the Sea of Granlund’s, himself, Markus, were the hopes and dreams of the bottom six.
How far we’ve come.
Best unleash the animal within you
Hey, when you get looted in the love spuds, you either stay down or get off the mat:
That’s what we in the business call a sexy pass. It’s also what we call a “car worth getting vacuumed,” but I’ve never understood that one myself.
It’s just a delightfully soft pass into the middle of the ice, and you can see Pew Pew make a break for the GOTI the second he sees the puck go around the boards. It’s why JT Miller called him one of the smartest players on the team despite not being a flashy kind of guy. He just knows where to be at all times.
And as JT Miller pointed out, Pius quietly leads the team in goals right now. I just naturally assume he does everything quietly at this point, whether it’s tending to his garden or yelling at traffic. He doesn’t scream, he just mutters something in Swiss and then texts JT Miller long, deep thoughts on what is free will, truly.
Another thing to point out on this same shift was moments earlier when Lekkerimäki almost got his first NHL goal:
Just a brief whack at a puck, or as Suter might possibly text to JT Miller, “The wise person strives for inner ‘justice,’” a condition in which each part of the soul plays its proper role — reason as the guide, the spirited nature as the ally of reason, exhorting oneself to do what reason deems proper, and the passions as subjugated to the determinations of reason.”
Now, I hesitate to bring up Brock Boeser and Jonathan Lekkerimaki in the same sentence because there is an odd subset of people who are seemingly waiting for Jonathan to score his first goal, as it will be a sure sign he can easily replace Brock Boeser in the lineup, but we would be remiss if we didn’t give a nod to their similar style of games. It was something Rick Tocchet mentioned without prompt after the game.
“There’s some spots there that it’s almost Boeser like. I think when Brock starts feeling better, he can help him out, work with him a little bit, because there’s some spots there that he knows where to go, and if you give him that shot, he’s going to score.”
Best trying his hardest
My favourite thing about Kiefer Sherwood is he’s either going to shoot the puck or try and hit somebody at least once on a shift. Even at the end of the game, with .5 seconds left, Kiefer was at center, slamming a slapshot as he tried to score on the empty net. He has two modes, on or off, that’s it.
And if you want a good example of the Canucks moving their feet and giving you a taste of the Rick Tocchet hockey experience he wants every night, here is a play where the Canucks zipped the puck around, moved around the ice, and ended up with a good look on net in the form of a Jack Bauer shot:
The second period was just a variety of shifts just like this, where the Canucks would get the puck in deep and just tire Calgary out. Which seems hard because I can’t think of anything more tiring than living in Alberta, but somehow the Canucks managed to make the Flames feel that playing against them was worse than that.
Best to hell with Jeff
I know J-Pats hates one-day contracts, but clearly Ryan Kesler can’t go in the Ring of Honor. Like, I could make a solid case for it, and it would be based around the fact that very few people broke every part of their body in pursuit of post-season success like Ryan did for Vancouver. That 2011 run from Kesler, especially that series against Nashville, is iconic. And the fact he even managed to play in the Finals with half of his body falling apart is a testament to his strong desire to win.
But he did turn into a massive troll when he went to the Anaheim Ducks after demanding a trade. And it’s hard to push a case for a Ring of Honor when someone demanded to be traded, but we also have Pavel Bure’s number retired, so hey, maybe you can make a case for pretty much anything.
The point is, it’s not an open and shut case, so at the very least, let the man retire a Canuck and give him a night to honour him.
Best denial of entry
Vincent Desharnais almost scored his first goal as a Vancouver Canuck, only to quickly realize that Danton Heinen ruined everything:
I’m not a massive fan of “stick go boom, must be penalty,” due to the fact some sticks have the durability of balsa wood, but in this case, the stick break easily played a part in Vinny scoring the goal. So the penalty handed out on the play, along with waiving off the goal, feels pretty justified.
Besides, as we pointed out earlier, life is tough enough having to live in Alberta, waking up every day knowing you play in Alberta, and understanding that you cannot escape until your contract runs out. They could do with a little good news now and then.
And when you have a tired Calgary team, and the pit bull and the professor penalty killing? That just makes for good gifs:
Professor Garland just ragging the puck along the boards and keeping control until he loses it, only to see his pit bull Kiefer come flying in to reset the play back into the corner so Garland can once again rag the puck along the boards and kill even more time off the clock?
That’s just penalty-killing pornography right there.
Best who is that kid
I truly have no idea how teams have given up on Erik:
NOW, that being said, it’s still a very small sample size. And there have been other players I thought were fantastic found money only to find the warts that caused their stock to drop in the first place.
But the biggest knock on Brännström is his size. Being a small d-man in this league kills you unless you’re a Quinn Hughes top-level guy. But you only have to look at Troy From Richmond to see how quickly you run into the “we can’t have TWO small guys on the back end, are you crazy??” logic that leaps up.
That being said, as much as I loved Tony and what he brought to a team, Brännström has that extra gear of puck movement and offence that Stetcher could never find. Watch that clip again and just see how even something as simple as him widening his stance and keeping the puck far in front of him leads Ryan Lomberg into slashing his stick away.
His puck protection and ability to hold onto the puck is the thing Rick Tocchet speaks on when discussing the skill set he brings to the team, and we are seeing it on display every night. And Tuesday was his best game with Vancouver yet:
Obviously, playing a tired Flames team is a delightful occurrence, I get that, but if Brannstrom can mesh his skill set with Vinnie Desharnais and give the Canucks a serviceable third-line pairing, that’s a massive boon for a team looking to make a post-season run.
Early days, of course, but I have been very impressed with the play of Erik this season.
Best speed, agility and power
Puck movement and skating hard = Slamming it straight through the GOTI:
Easily the prettiest period the Canucks have played all year.
Also, it’s ridiculous that Quinn Hughes is pulling off that movement on the blue line, making that pass to JT Miller, and I don’t even bat an eye anymore.
Like if Mattias Ohlund had done that play once, I would have thought, “Ok this might be the best Canucks d-man of all time,” and yet here’s Quinn Hughes doing this like five times a game.
It doesn’t make any sense.
Best Daniel Wagner Hat Trick
Bounce back game for Team America.
Best question
Was Sherwood a sh*t disturber again?
Yes. Yes, he was.
Best riding the bull
That shot is starting to feel extra spicy lately:
Shielding the puck from Martin Popsicle Pospisil and getting off a hard shot that knocks the dome off of Vladar?
That’s the good Petey.
Best every team could have had him
You want to see Brannstrom’s first goal with the Canucks? Damn straight you do:
First and foremost, as with many things in life, it starts with Kiefer Sherwood trying to hit something.
And due to his hard forecheck, the puck is thrown poorly along the boards, which Elias easily picks up before finding Brännström at the point.
And would you look at that, Kiefer has now gone hard to the net and set up a screen in front of Vladar, and I am told that it’s hard to stop things you can’t see.
So you have Kiefer busting his ass, Elias using his high hockey IQ, and then Brännström dialing long-distance despite being told he is toll denied.
Add it all together and you have yourself one solid goal on your hands.
Best I thought his career was cooked
Best reminder Quinn Hughes is a human cheat code
Remember Brent Sopel holding in the puck at the blueline was like the peak of excitement for a Canucks defenceman at the point?
Remember when Travis Green had doubts about giving Quinn Hughes PP1 time too quickly over Alex Edler?
Best rough and tumble lifestyle
At one point, Corolla Garland got in a puck battle with Kuzmenko and then got angry about it, so he started shoving him?
I don’t know why this happened, but I am here for it.
I also like that Garland’s natural state seems to be him surrounded by the other team in a scrum.
Best Quinn being Quinn
Brent Sopel could never:
Imagine how exhausting that must be to play Quinn Hughes in the middle of a road trip. Imagine knowing that your chances of getting the puck out of your own zone are like, under 10%. Imagine knowing even when you try and whip the puck past the blue line at 100mph, he STILL might knock it down. And then, even after knocking it down, he DANCES ACROSS THE BLUE LINE and evades you, and eventually sets in motion a passing play that leads to a dangerous one-timer attempt.
It’s just unfair.
Revenge game against Bo Horvat on Thursday?
See you there.
Best jersey Botch
Bro.
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