Every time I find myself saying “surely this is the most tedious Canucks game of the season” I am pleasantly surprised when the Canucks find a way to outdo themselves. And by pleasantly surprised, I mean I get that faraway look in my eyes as I stare into the void of death, wondering what I did to deserve this. I imagine it’s much the same way Dan Murphy feels when he loses his favourite pocket square or when Iain MacIntyre finds out the ice cream machine is under repair.
Yet here we find ourselves, yet again, wondering if this is actually the most tedious game of the season, despite knowing we might have to revise that list at a later date. It’s akin to being told to bag and label your favorite sneezes of the year, an exercise in futility on par with wondering just who is to blame for the “give me point shots or give me death” offensive approach this team has made into its identity.
No one has been brave enough to take credit for this approach, not the players, not the coaching staff, nor management, but we do know when given a chance between eating a bag of candy or patiently grinding out a shift in the hopes of getting that puck over to Derek Forbort at the blueline, they’re going with the big man every single time.
Somewhere along the way, a team that entered the season with a slogan so blue collar it tightened the blue jeans of Frank Seravalli, they failed to meet the pressure. Instead of being a club angling to solidify its status near the top of its division, it has become mired in soulless games in which the coach shrugs and thinks his team might have been nervous. In February. A team that just needs to remember to move their feet. In February. A team that gosh dang it, just can’t quite seem to hit those key moments.
We are weeks away from the trade deadline and we’re hearing feedback from the coaching staff as if the Canucks are still working out the kinks of pre-season. We’re getting the kind of feedback normally reserved for Fedor Fedorov or Steve Kariya trying to make the team, except it’s already halfway through the season. Rick Tocchet’s comments after the 2-1 loss to Utah echoed much of what he’s said multiple times this year.
“Well the frustrating part is we had 21 shots blocked, 15 missed shots, that’s 30 something missed chances…we’re struggling to score goals, but you gotta move your feet, you gotta change angles, you gotta hit the net. That’s a big number for a team that’s not scoring.”
He would go on to say that maybe the team is lacking confidence and is holding onto the puck too long. And you would be right to point out the impact not having Quinn Hughes is having on this club. But that doesn’t quite explain how the Canucks have managed to end up dead last in unblocked shot attempts:
And again, I have probably debated this topic a hundred times this season, who’s to blame for this lack of offensive punch? The roster, the coaches, or the management? At this point it doesn’t even feel like it matters, it just feels like they’re all the guy wearing the hot dog costume wondering who could have done this.
All I know is that this aesthetic the team has right now, the “gee golly whiz, we just have to move our feet” while their goalies attempt to play Josh Allen hero ball is something I am not enjoying. Watching the Canucks sit back, seemingly in fear of a Utah club that partakes in hockey is just such a stark contrast to last season. And I know, last season was a bender, it was the highest of highs, I am not trying to compare it directly to a shooting percentage having the time of its life. But you can’t tell me that there isn’t something fundamentally wrong with a team that almost has to raise a banner to celebrate getting double digits in shots.
It is a chore to watch this team play hockey on most nights this season. Aside from Quinn Hughes, I have no idea how you market this team to the fan base about a glowing future just over the horizon. “Come watch us lose, but we won’t give up a ton of goals?” doesn’t really land all that smoothly.
But all we can hope for is that, yeah, the team is lacking some confidence. And golly gee whiz, once they move their feet that should help things a bunch. Which again, isn’t the rallying cry I think the team is going for.
So where do we go from here? Nowhere. We have no control. All we can do is watch and see how this plays out.
To see if the team can turn things around.
To see if the roster can up their game.
To see if management can make smart moves.
To see if the coaching staff can get through to the players and it’s totally not a by-product of the Tocchet GOTI system that bleeds offense and forgoes offensive chances with the panic riddled thought of “oh shit I better make sure I’m in my area of the ice or coach is gonna be real mad at me.”, a system that by design wants to chip and chase yet the coach talks about how he wishes they didn’t chip and chase, coupled with a multi-year track record of Tocchet drying up offense wherever he goes. Sorry I lost my train of thought there, where was I again?
Oh right. The good news. There is good news.
The good news is, at least we have each other. We can lean on each other during the bad times and have a front row when the good times come back.
Right?
Right?
Where are you going?
Best big time debut
As the Canucks attempt to healthy scratch Carson Soucy until he goes away, Victor Mancini got the call-up to make his Canucks debut. And his first shift, it was one for the ages.
Hahaha just kidding, here’s Arturs Silovs having to make three saves on a powerplay due to an early Tyler Myers penalty:
The good news is that Artus Silovs was the Canucks best player, stopping 30 shots on the night. Which is also quite clearly the bad news as well. This is very much the feeling you get when I show up to your birthday party to let you know that nobody else is coming except me. You appreciate what I’m doing, but you had hoped for more. And I accept that.
Meanwhile the Canucks did their best to score on Karel Vejmelka, who was stellar in stopping…14 shots on the night.
But hey don’t forget those 30+ shots that never made it to the net. If the Canucks were having a multiverse theoretical hypothetical game against the Utah Jazz Hands Hockey Club, well heck, they might have gotten two goals on the night in one of those worlds.
Best high praise
Nils Höglander was one of the better Canucks on the night in that he made a noticeable move with intent in the offensive zone, which is about as good as it got on this night. You attempted to skate towards the net and set up a linemate for a shot? Hell, that’s Mario Lemieux level stuff in the GOTI system:
Elias Pettersson was also one of the better Canucks on the night, but not in the “He clearly earned his money” type of way but just in the “hey he got an assist and was defensively responsible” which is like opening up your blind date introduction with “Hey I might live with my parents still, but at least they always stock the fridge full of snacks.”
Best remember when
We’re at the point where we are wistfully talking about the “Ian Cole Era” and the worst part is, we aren’t wrong to do so:
The Four Nations might have had a patriotically thrilling conclusion, but did it have a solid stick in a shooting lane?
This was the third most exciting thing to happen in this game at this point in case you wanted a nice summary of how much I was hate watching the events unfold in front of me. 10 minutes into the game and the best clip I could find was Ian Cole blocking a shot.
But hey, again, that’s like 30+ shot attempts on net, so that’s like, pretty good in the grand scheme of things. Just have to start moving those feet.
Best blowing the game
Alexander Kerfoot got called for tripping when Fil The Thrill Chytil attempted a hockey stop but instead just fell to the ice like he’d forgotten to hit the parachute button in Warzone:
The Canucks powerplay unfortunately created no moments of excitement so instead I will fast forward to the make-up call where Marcus Pettersson was called for hooking after his stick sort of touched Nick Schmaltz’s body:
Utah could not score on the powerplay (the Canucks penalty killing might be one of their strongest features, which shouldn’t be shocking as “not allowing goals” is sort of their thing now), all of which led to MP3 then taking a penalty for playing with a broken stick:
Yes, these are the actual highlights from the first period. A handful of penalties and then Silovs having to make a bunch of saves. Which to his credit, he was absolutely fantastic on the night, and fully deserves to get his Arty Party nickname back.
But in terms of selling the game, yeah, this was a bit of a stinker.
Not sure if you picked up on that during the intro.
Best debate
Look, I enjoy sound cues as much as the next guy.
My phone rings, my dog assumes its Skip the Dishes and he runs right to the door. It’s a system that makes sense to him.
When I hear a team kill off a penalty and they play the Super Mario mushroom noise, I get it. They were down a man and now they’re full size again, the mushroom works.
But when the Utah Club of Hockey Enthusiasts fail to score on the powerplay, the Law and Order sound clip plays, and I just, I need to know why. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fantastic sound, and who hasn’t murmured that to themselves when they realize someone ate the last of the ice cream and an investigation has to take place.
But when a a team doesn’t score on a powerplay, what is this cue telling us? That they need to look deeper? That there’s another suspect? Is it a sound of failure? A sound of hope because it’s not over yet?
I think I can see the picture they’re painting, but I need them to confirm the details.
Otherwise we have to watch more clips of Ian Cole blocking a shot.
Best welcome to the party, pal
I like how after not scoring in the first period, Utah was like “wait a minute, Silovs isn’t good with point shots” so they tried that out too:
Would Utah later score on a point shot? Sure, but that was tipped, it doesn’t count.
The important thing is the friends we made along the way, damn it.
Best Chytil heater
I said after Chytil’s first game that he would be a good barometer of whether Tocchet’s GOTI system ruins a players will to live, as he was a constant source of carrying the puck with purpose, something the Canucks clearly lack.
And while the jury is still out, at least Chytil is still reaching into his bag on occasion:
Tocchet talks often about playing hockey with purpose, and to Chytil’s credit he was one of the few noticeable players that looked like they actually knew what it felt like to score a goal in the NHL and wanted to experience it again.
Best shake and Jake
The Canucks lone goal of the night was a power play marker on a nice pass from EP40 over to Jake DeBrusk:
Jake has that skill to just sort of show up on the scene unannounced with a six pack in his hands and a bag of hot dogs. Sure, he didn’t bring any buns or condiments, and there is no reasonable way to cook the hot dogs, but at least he scored a goal.
It’s, and I hate to say this, it’s the “gee golly whiz, we need to move our feet” put into practice, because as much as I get frustrated with the lack of ownership from this coaching staff, their offensive problems can indeed be helped by skating and moving their damn feet.
Moving your feet is what allows you to slide into the holes in coverage and creates angles where Elias Pettersson can praise the gods that he doesn’t have to dangle or shoot the puck and can instead just pass it over to you for the tap in.
Best that was fun while it lasted
Unfortunately for Vancouver, Utah quickly tied the game up when they went with that classic Silovs kryptonite, the point shot of death:
First off, yes, I included Kiefer Sherwood ringing an imaginary bell or dropping imaginary salt in the clip because it amuses me.
Secondly, that shot was tipped so it wasn’t a vintage “how in the hell did Silovs not track that puck moment”. Again, Silovs was pretty much the only good part of this game, so we can’t run him down for this. Even prime Bubble Demko would have had trouble dragging this Canucks team to a win on the night.
Best laser accuracy
Dylan Guenther exists to remind Canucks fans of what could have been, a terrifying icon of “what if the Canucks had just fired Jim Benning a little bit quicker”, something that might have sparked a quicker retool versus the “Surely OEL will lead us to the promised land” nightmare salary cap retention the team currently lives with.
And in the second period, Dylan Guenther aka Gunther in my head, aka a large Austrian wrestling champion, made one of the cleanest passes of the season when he found Lawson Crouse for a breakaway:
Silovs made the big stop, but Guenther, who would eventually get the game winner, has turned into such a dynamic player for Utah. At just 21 years old, he already has 43 points on the season, which would make him the top scoring forward if he were on the Canucks. Currently Jake DeBrusk, Brock Boeser and Elias Pettersson are in a death battle for that spot with 35 points each.
Best savor it while you can
Best Bee Gees underrated hit
It’s not a good sign when the best scoring chance on a powerplay goes to the penalty killing team:
Detectives Jack McBain and Barrett Hayton were unable to score because they didn’t have enough evidence to convict Silovs, but the point remains, the Canucks powerplay? It’s kind of gross.
Currently Rick Tocchet is kind of deploying them like he’s still on Team Canada, a situation where yeah, sure, you can throw out any player on the ice and you’ve got yourself a lethal unit.
But with the Canucks current situation, you probably need to lean on your top players in a single unit, and work your way from there.
The divorce was finalized everyone, we don’t need to keep the top guys sleeping in different beds anymore.
Best give it time
Worst game you’ve had the displeasure of watching in your life so far.
Best branding
Best bend don’t break
Third period started with a an odd-man rush that Forbort just managed to defuse, which again, kind of speaks to this entire situation at play:
Like, sure, cool, you’re playing solid defense and not giving up a lot of chances. But you’re still tasking Silovs to play near perfect hockey, and you’re parking the bus to defend against Utah. You’re actively playing in a 1-1 game in the third period with the hopes of maybe eking out a win if a bounce or two go your way.
Call me crazy, but that doesn’t predict a very good outcome for any sort of solid playoff run.
Best they did it
Chytil got the Canucks to 10 shots on the night on a powerplay in the third period:
As I said earlier, Chytil was noticeable for good reasons on the night, but the bar was incredibly low. He at least looked actively intrigued by the thought of getting the puck on net, which was a step above many of his teammates, but again, it’s the end of February. This team is grinding out games against Utah, praying they can sneak out a win on 15 shots, how was this the plan on the night?
Better not risk carrying the puck into the zone or else Nick Schmaltz might burn you? I get it, Elias might be dealing with an injury, but you’re telling me he can’t find a way to get a single shot on net against Utah?
Best party time
Utah went back to the game plan of point shots on Silovs, which led to his best save of the night on this attempt:
I am saving this clip for proof to Elias Pettersson that getting shots on net is indeed possible.
Best talking point
Rick Tocchet has spoken a lot about his team not coming up in key moments, and well let me tell you, Elias Pettersson had himself a hell of a key moment in this one that might have turned the tides for his team:
Missing a breakaway is fine, it happens. Sometimes the goalie makes a good save and sometimes you punt the puck so high over the net that it finds space Jesus and converts to a new religion.
But when you’re mired in a slump, have people doubting your ability to shoot the puck, and you are now THE guy after the other angry guy was booted out of town after a season of in-fighting, this miss carries a different weight to it.
As noted last game, Elias had some of his best speed bursts of the season. And certainly skating down the ice to get this breakaway pass from Fil Hronek is a much better sign than what he’s normally produced this season.
And barring some other magical hidden injury coming to light (wrist? knee? Back? hips? lost his smile?) there is still plenty of reason to think he can find his form again.
But on this night, that was a perfect chance for him to step up and have one of those key moments his coach is talking about, except he didn’t come anywhere close to scoring. He shot it so high that Tyler Motte saw it shooting through space and nodded in appreciation.
I think Elias knew that as well:
Good to see him showing some emotion, but man alive, he needs to start having big moments soon because that contract demands it.
Best never skip leg day
Josh Doan skipped by MP3 like it was Baker Street, sending himself in all alone on a breakaway, only to be thwarted by Silovs:
Notice how I keep showing rush chances for the opposition yet very few for Vancouver. In fact, I have no rush chances to show you. All I could show you is limp wrist shots from the point but I don’t think any of us want to suffer like that.
But hey. 30+ potential shots, that’s not nothing. Good on you Vancouver!
Best dagger to the heart
Who else but Dylan?
You might be asking yourself why is he all alone in front and that’s due to two reasons:
One, Derek Forbort decided to illegally hold someone against their will, so the Canucks were killing off a late game powerplay.
Two, the Canucks net front coverage has always been kind of garbage this season so why should Sunday night be any different?
That being said, the Canucks penalty killing has been a strong point for this team, so you can’t get too riled up over this one goal. What you can get riled up over is the timing of the penalty and the fact that yeah, you probably shouldn’t leave any player, much less Guenther, all alone like that.
I mean, the end point is the Canucks had 15 shots and tried to defend their way to a win. That’s the main problem.
But secondary is yeah, maybe don’t let Guenther sit in  your crease with his stick just sitting there, waiting for a pass.
Best odd rushes of men
You thought I had a clip of the Canucks ramping up the offensive pressure after going down a goal late in the game? Incorrect!
Best I can do is Tyler Myers giving up a breakaway:
And that’s it. Those are all of my clips. I don’t even have a spirited clip of the Canucks trying to tie the game up because they didn’t come close to doing so. It was about a passive of a loss as you’re going to get.
Quinn Hughes’ eventual return to the lineup will certainly help balance things out, but that doesn’t change the fact that so many of the problems we saw tonight have been happening all season long. Quinn Hughes might be a hockey god, but even he can’t carry this current squad to a Stanley Cup.
We just have to wait until the guy in the right hot dog suit takes accountability for this mess, and see if they can fix it.
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