The 2016 NHL Trade Deadline has come and gone and the Canucks did next to nothing. I present to you the Canucks Player Power Rankings, now with less Adam Cracknell and the same amount of literally everyone else: 

Ben Hutton’s Barbie Girl bit is still the best thing that’s happened this week. You’ve all seen it at this point but how often does this team make you smile? Milk this for all it’s worth. 

Matt Bartkowski had his best week as a Canuck. He was the most productive defenseman in a game that included Erik Karlsson and then he got the flu. 

Emerson Etem scored two goals in the same game that Matt Bartkowski scored two goals! His goal song is Frank Sinatra’s Come Fly With Me. It doesn’t really work as a goal song, but at least it’s original and not a terrible country song. 

The description of Jake Virtanen’s goal from this week is everything that Canucks fans should be excited about:

This is kind of a pity-ranking but I don’t think Markus Granlund looked too bad in his first week with the team and he did this thing with his tongue and it made me laugh:

Daniel Sedin scored his 350th NHL goal this week. He’s awesome and we all knew that already. 

Sven and the twins are fun to watch together on the powerplay. Here he is dropping the mic. 

Our first matching jersey number and ranking number of the week! Stay tuned for more. Tanev is such a fun player because when he takes a penalty, it’s such a rare occurrence that everyone uses it as an opportunity to talk about how good he is at not taking penalties. 

I know it’s his job to be a supportive guy, but sometimes his optimism just makes me a little sad.

It didn’t feel right to put Dan Hamhuis too near to the top or the bottom of this list because he didn’t do anything wrong but he probably had a very stressful week. 

Miller went 1-1-0 this week and his best came on Thursday when he did this, somehow:

Linden Vey did not get traded this week even though he was one of seven Canucks that the team advertised in an extremely Craigslist-like fashion. 

Horvat made some strong plays this week but most importantly we can all relate to this: 

   

One positive about the departure of Adam Cracknell (who I quite liked) is that we’ll probably see more of Jared McCann (who I like more). Here he is getting punched in the face:

I can’t really say anything bad about Derek Dorsett this week because I still can’t believe he did this and almost scored. Plus, his jersey number matches his ranking, which I love. 

As you can see in the above Jared McCann .gif, Burrows came to the rookie’s defense on Thrusday. That’s all I remember him doing!

Instead of reading about Luca Sbisa’s hockey playing this week, take some time to learn about his youth in Italy. 

Biega was made officially ineligible for the AHL playoffs. By being on the Canucks, he was alreadyineligibile for the NHL playoffs. 

Yannick Weber saw game action this week!

Jacob Markstrom did not see game action this week!

Brandon Sutter skated this week, and his cousin got traded to his uncle’s team!

Radim Vrbata did not play hockey or get traded this week. 

Yet again, this ranking matches his jersey number!! What a week. Edler’s injury allowed him to spend time looking uncomfortable around fans this week:

He’s not even supposed to be on this list but I’m including him because the trade deadline was just so dissatisfying for Canucks fans. Dammit, Jim!