The Canucks were above .500 this week but it feels like they lost all three of their games. This week’s power rankings have a few motherly guest stars, the usual amount of “meh”, and, finally, dogs. 

The Canucks did the most wonderful thing this week by bringing their dogs to work with them. All of these dogs are so nice and so pure. I can’t rank these dogs because who am I to say that Sven Baertschi’s perfect husky is any worse than Heidi Sbisa, the Swiss-est dog ever? They are all perfect. We are all Adam Cracknell:

It’s been almost a full week since Beth Bartkowski stole our hearts with her adorable interviews, but only the dogs did enough to land ahead of her. And her son, Matthew, scored a goal for her! What’s better than this?

It feels a little weird to say that the other moms weren’t as good as Beth Bartkowski but I’m saying it anyway. Either way, they all outshone their sons this week and earned their spot in the top 3. 

   

Henrik Sedin became the Canucks franchise leader in games played this week and Leo Komarov is the league leader in getting Henrik Sedin to drop his gloves. Henrik is the best, though, and it’s cool anytime he adds another record to his long list of records. 

The Canucks are not a fun team to watch but they looked so good on Saturday, aesthetically. The team’s performance on Saturday can be summed up in a single tweet:

Those jerseys truly are [heart eyes emoji], regardless of the score or the stats or the standings or the general cloud of gloom that appeared above Rogers Arena on Saturday night.

It appears that when Alex Edler fibula was broken, the Canucks’ chances of gaining the zone on the powerplay were broken with it. The drop pass was hated by many:

But over the next 6 weeks we may all have to accept that Edler and his backwards passing might actually be a good option on the powerplay:

Daniel Sedin scored his 22nd goal on Saturday, which matches his jersey number. Last season he scored just 20. Daniel is great.  

Dan Hamhuis has been good since returning from injury and it’s nice to see. 

Neither goalie played poorly this week. Markstrom only played once, but Miller had to participate in the Maple Leafs fiasco so he doesn’t get an edge this week.

Sven scored a goal this week and, for the record, if I had to pick the best Canucks dog, Bear Baertschi would be my choice. 

Young Bo Horvat set a new career high this week when he got his 26th point! Horvat blocked a shot and may not play tonight, which would be bad, but otherwise he had a nice week and he has a great dog:

Ben Hutton is filling in for Alex Edler and on the ice he has done a decent job so far. Off the ice he is doing terribly. Alex Edler would never have this much fun: 

He’s passing the puck like young Henrik Sedin:

Hansen continues to be the best quote on the team after a disappointing loss:

Sbisa has been extremely watchable this week. He is the new Bobby Orr. 

VIrtanen scored a nice goal this week and also did this:

Chris Tanev is still Chris Tanev, but watching him as a pointman on the powerplay is hilarious. 

Biega returned to the line-up in Phoenix and made this cool save. He was scratched on Saturday, but the save was still cool. 

I have nothing to offer about this section of the Canucks’ roster except “meh”. 

Alex Burrows might have offered to waive his no trade clause but he also might not have. Who knows at this point?

Poor Brandon Sutter’s mother had to watch her son have his jaw broken. Not only did Brandon unintentionally ruin his mother’s trip, but he’ll be out 6-8 weeks. Poor Brandon. At least his ranking matches his jersey number.

Radim Vrbata might get traded and he might not and either way he kind of looks like he’s skating in mud right now. Even more so than the rest of the team.