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Canucks Player Power Tankings – Mar. 21st, 2016
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Grainne Downey
Mar 21, 2016, 13:00 EDTUpdated:
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Spring has sprung and the Canucks are not good. They played four games this week and lost all four of them. It is officially time to openly embrace the the pursuit of a top draft pick and turn these Power Rankings into Power Tankings! The players can continue to want to win, but I’m fully on board with the descent into investment in the draft lottery.
1. The injured ones: 
Much of the the tank’s success is brought to you by the slew of injuries that has plagued the Canucks. If all of these guys were healthy, the team would still be bad, but it would be less bad.
  • Alex Edler: Edler continues to help the tank by being a good defenseman and a helpful power play contributor who is currently wearing a walking boot. 
  • Chris Tanev: Chris Tanev played in three game this week but was clearly not fully healthy. Chris Tanev playing injured is good for losing, but Chris Tanev not playing at all is even better.   
  • Luca Sbisa: Luca Sbisa appeared to separate his shoulder but it didn’t feel that important because ont he same play, this happened: 
  • Radim Vrbata:  If this play is Radim’s last moment as a Canuck, it is a fittingly weird end to a weird two years. 
  • Jannik Hansen: Hansen’s absence has done wonders for the tank. The Sedins have played significant time with both Emerson Etem and Alex Grenier! Wild. 
  • Yannick Weber: I don’t know how long he’s been hurt, but apparently Yannick Weber is hurt. 
  • Brandon Sutter: Sutter’s broken jaw continued to do work for the tank this week. Keeping that centre depth thin!
  • Markus Granlund: In all honestly I forgot he got hurt because I forgot he was on this team. 
  • Derek Dorsett: Derek Dorsett’s on-ice contributions are not always bad for the tank, but he gets to go in this section because he’s also hurt. 
2. Matt Bartkowski:
Bart has been a big part of the tank all season and he carried that into this week. He isn’t the only culprit on this goal, but he sure didn’t look good. 
3. Alex Biega:
Alex Biega is fine as a bottom pairing defenseman but I mean, not this:
4. Alex Grenier:
This isn’t fair to Alex Grenier because he’s not that bad, but his presence on the Sedin line just tells you where this team is at, health-wise and desperation-wise.  
 5. Alex Burrows: 
Three Alexs in a row! Wild. Burrows did not have a bad week, but he did get the flu. Playing with the flu is a total tank move. 
6. Brendan Gaunce:
Young Brendan Gaunce knows what the people want. After making a nice play to get the puck up the ice and to the net, he put the puck in with his glove. No goal, but a nice effort! 
7. Jared McCann:
Despite limited ice time, Jared McCann scored this week! It came near the end of a 5-2 loss, so it was a well-timed one. He also nailed this on-ice eyeroll. Such a teen!
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8. Linden Vey:
Linden Vey is still getting more ice time than he should. But this happened, so that’s nice for him at least! 
9. Andrey Pedan:
The large Lithuanian has not looked totally NHL-ready this week, but he’s happy to be here and at this point, that’s what matters most. 
10. Emerson Etem:
Emerson Etem is no longer on the Sedin line. No one is sure which line he is on now, though. 
11. Jake Virtanen:
Still not in Willie’s good books after the Bieber fiasco, Jake is does not have a lot of ice-time to work with. He did score a goal this week, though! 
12. Chris Higgins:
Chris Higgins is back! He didn’t really have an effect on the tank, but his postgame comments were fun:
13. Nikita Tryamkin:
Tryamkin made his debut this week and had not totally adjusted, but he’s been a fun addition to the roster. Unfortunately, he may have cursed the Canucks.
14. Bo Horvat:
Horvat is a league-worst -34, but keeps us interested with plays like this. Keep up the good work and poor results, Bowie!
15. Dan Hamhuis:
Hamhuis is healthy and a legitimate NHL defenseman which can be said about one other player currently on the roster. His presence is not helping the losses come, but it’s probably okay to have a tiny bit of stability on the backend. 
16. Henrik Sedin:
Tank or no tank, it’s cool when the Sedins do cool stuff. You can tell that this is a big deal because there’s a movie about Rocket Richard. This probably means that there should be a movie about Henrik Sedin one day. 
17. Jacob Markstrom:
Along with that gloveless save featured in the Luca Sbisa section, he also did this. The scores this week have certainly not reflected the goaltending that the Canucks have received. 
18. Daniel Sedin:
Daniel had 7 of the Canucks 19 shots on Saturday and was not happy with some of the effort he saw from his teammates. I appreciate and respect how competitive the twins are and I expect nothing less from them because they are the best. However, these are power tankings, not power rankings, so the boys he’s calling out are our favourites right now! 
19. Ryan Miller:
Ryan Miller made 47 saves on 50 shots against the Blues and just deserves a long nap at this point. 
20. Ben Hutton:
This time last year, Ben Hutton was wrapping up his college season. Now he’s being asked to be the top defenseman on an NHL team. It’s not going as well as he’d hope, but that’s more about his supporting cast and less about Hutton himself. He is so fun to watch and makes you so excited to cheer for wins one day soon. Plus, this is sweet:
21. Sven Baertschi:
Sven Baertschi sucks at tanking. This was far from his best week, production-wise, but night in and night out, he has looked ready to pull this team into 24th in the league – very dangerous. Sven does have great opinions, though, especially about Harry Potter and dogs. It’s pretty weird that he doesn’t know who The Beatles are. 

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