Hockey’s greatest power rankings are back for yet another week!

The most unlikely Eddie Lack scenario almost came to pass against the Kings. Eddie should know by now that the most important fight, the one for the heart of every hockey fan in Vancouver, has been won. 

CTRL+V “Henrik Sedin hit a cool milestone this week”.

Daniel Sedin played a key role in the Canucks’ victory over Los Angeles, as well as in @VanCanucks’ victory over Bill Simmons.

Before Tyler Toffoli was ejected for his ugly crosscheck, Burrows at least got to do this: 

Radim the Dream scored the team’s first 5-on-3 goal of the year and it was nice:

On his second try, Jacob Markstrom got his first NHL win of the season. He was perfect apart from Oliver Ekman-Larsson’s first period tally.

Mamma Mia Lack and Lena Markstrom celebrated their tall, goaltending sons together on Twitter. According to Bing’s Auto-translate, Jacob’s mother is saying “proud mothers we # love goalie”. 

Persistently outdone by Ekman Larsson in the underwear line department, Alex Edler matched his fellow Swedish #23 with a goal on Sunday. He’s now only…13 goals back of OEL’s league leading 20. 

Chris Tanev was his usual excellent self this week (apart from the short absence following a blocked shot from Drew Doughty that set every Canuck fan’s insides on fire). 

Goals are nice but David Bowie gifs are everything.

Jannik Hansen taking the ice without both Ronalds Kenins and Bo Horvat has created slightly more outrage than one would have guessed in October. 

Eddie Lack wanting to fight? Weird. Dan Hamhuis actually for real fighting with blood and everything? No words.

Did anyone ask how Ronalds felt about the win? Don’t Ronalds’ feelings matter to anyone? Does Willie Desjardins run the team’s Twitter account?

The replayability of most of Bonino’s goals almost makes up for the slumps. Wow!

Noureen Dewulf and Ryan Miller welcomed a baby boy into the world this week! The Canucks finally employ someone glamourous enough to get a shoutout from the official People Magazine Twitter account devoted to famous babies (it exists!). 

Noureen also made her debut on W Network’s Hockey Wives. Stars! They’re just like us! (Seriously. We feel you, Noureen.) 

In Sunday’s game against the Coyotes, Yannick Weber set a new career high number of goals. This is the first time “Coyotes” has been used in the same sentence as “high number of goals” this season. 

Shawn Matthias better step it up if he wants to stop getting outshone by the opposition’s empty goal.

Kassian’s injury prevented us from seeing him encourage Eddie Lack and Dan Hamhuis in their respective conflicts this week, which is some kind of tragic. 

The superpower that Kevin Bieksa would add to his game is actually a pretty good idea. Still doesn’t beat his Superman punch though.  

Linden Vey drew a timely and important penalty against the Coyotes. He wasn’t too bad against LA, but seeing him up against some of their stars was amusing. 

Brad Richardson played this week and pulled out some fancy footwork to assist Edler’s goal. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been heard from since. 

I don’t want to say anything negative about Derek Dorsett this week because Scott Hartnell already demeaned him in the harshest way possible. Calling anyone who is even a little bit useful “a Carcillo” is way below the belt.   

Defensively? It’s probably more like a 3-on-0. Offensively? It will probably become a defensive 3-on-0. 

Sorry, Luca. 

None of these people have done anything of note this week. 

Brandon McMillan turned 25!