Aside from a decent effort against Colorado, the Canucks had a rather terrible week. They became the first team in NHL history to lose four straight games by a score of 5-2, taking the wind out of many Team Playoff sails. But these are Power Rankings not Power Tankings – at least for now: 

Jannik Hansen set a career goalscoring high on Sunday and then he set another one! This time next week we could very well be talking about 20-goal-scorer Jannik Hansen. Truly the greatest Dane since Hamlet. 

Henrik Sedin is definitely not 100% healthy and did not have a wonderful week by his standards, but if not having a wonderful week means putting up four assists in one game for the tenth time in your career, you’re doing something right. 

Daniel was outperformed by his brother and put up only three assists on Sunday. But Henrik didn’t get a viral meme about his name so who’s the real winner?

Chris Tanev is known for being good despite his lack of offensive contributions but this week he scored twice, once even on the powerplay!

Poor Ryan Miller finally saw his efforts rewarded against Colorado, only to have his shutout bid ended in the final moments of the game. Either way, he was a huge reason the Canucks their only two points of the week on Sunday night.

We are currently in the midst of an Adam Cracknell goalscoring streak. Cracknell scored the opening goals of Friday’s 5-2 loss to in Calgary and Sunday’s win. His personalized goal song is Foreigner’s Feels Like the First Time, which made less sense when he got his second goal of the night (though it was promptly waived off). 

Young Jake probably would have preferred a win in Calgary, but the goal was pretty nice all the same. 

Losing isn’t fun but if Virtanen and Baertschi score goals like these in all of the Canucks losses, it’s not so bad. 

Hutton is doing a nice job filling in for Alex Edler, though his promotion has left the bottom pairings rather ineffective. 

Honestly who cares about plus/minus when the Bo-Jake (and Bae) Show is having this much fun:

If this is Dan Hamhuis’ final appearance in these power rankings I just want to say that he seems like a really nice man and I hope everything works out for him. For now, here he is sliding into Ryan Kesler:

As of early Monday morning, Emerson Etem is losing the Canucks.com “Who will die last?” poll. Sorry, Emerson.

Both Justin Bieber and Jared McCann hail from Stratford, Ontario but who is the bigger diva? 

This guy made his NHL debut this week. That’s fun! This is less fun:

Poor Jacob Markstrom didn’t play all that poorly this week but still suffered two 5-2 losses. This save though…

Derek Dorsett left Sunday’s game with an injury but he’s probably in less pain than I am after being reminded about this:

Burrows did nothing of note this week.

I have nothing to offer except this .gif:

Remember Beth? Those were some good times. Nothing gold can stay. 

These three get to sit together in the injured section as usual. Sutter lucks out with the ranking that matches his jersey number. Better luck next week, Edler and Vey. 

Honestly I was going to put Radim Vrbata at the top of the rankings this week because he scored a goal and everyone needs to chip in to the process of upping his trade value, myself included. But then Radim got hurt like a millisecond after he scored. So he’ll stay down here for now.