The NHL Awards are right about to get underway in the newest league market of Las Vegas, Nevada, and we can’t help but feel left out. Nobody on the Canucks is a nominee for anything performance related (Henrik Sedin’s community involvement gets him a nomination for the King Clancy Award, though). That’s crazy when you think about it; we really thought Jim Benning had GM of the Year locked up as a gimmie. But we shouldn’t look back in anger; the league can do whatever it wants, as long as we know what matters! Yeah!

…we’re actually really petty and made our own awards. Get your podiums ready!

Back in 2003, Alexander Mogilny refused to show up for the NHL awards because he felt no value in having won the Lady Byng Trophy. In his honour, we award a trophy to the player who made the biggest heel turn from gentlemen to borderline jerk, Daniel Sedin.

Daniel didn’t give a single shit this year, punching some, screaming at others, and scoring goals once bored. He doubled his penalty minute count over the year prior, and in a way, encapsulated all our frustrations while still being one of the team’s best players. 

Ryan Miller turned back the clock in October, dominating the preseason and standing on his head for the first four games of the year. He actually was slightly above average throughout the season, but for the first couple of weeks, it looked like he may have been able to drag the Canucks through the tunnel on his own back. Didn’t quite work, but it was fun to watch.

I don’t know who he is, but he seems interesting and has an ability to replicate his pose and outfit in multiple places, which is a vast improvement on our Luca’s zone coverage.

Radim Vrbata wins this year’s Green Jacket, given to the player with the team’s worst plus/minus. Bo Horvat actually equalled his -30 on the season, but Vrbata got there in 19 fewer games. It also helps that he spent a lot of his time, well, looking like his head was already on the golf course.

Needless to say, we’re a little less heartbroken at his likely departure in two weeks than if you asked us a week and change ago.

It looks like the real Calder Trophy is going to Chicago Blackhawks forward Artemi Panarin. We’re not saying that he should be ineligible from the Rookie of the Year award due to his age, but in 1937, a 14-year-old Panarin constructed the trophy out of the finest wood and metals that he could find in Russia.

As for the Canucks, there’s only one man who deserves this award. He’s a teen, he’s dynamic, and the crowd loved him. He started off pretty strong, but his production tapered off, which made many wonder why he wasn’t sent back to junior. Needless to say, Canucks fans have high hope for the former first-round pick. Ladies and gentlemen, Jared McC-

…damnit. Hey, remember this awesome hit?

This award goes to the player that we, as a whole, felt the worst for over the course of the season.

Sorry, Bo Horvat. You had to skate through all 82 games of this. You tied Vrbata for the Green Jacket. You didn’t get the same “wave of the future” hype that McCann, Virtanen, and Ben Hutton received. While there’s some validity to the arguments, you still had to hear your name come up in “should’ve drafted X” or “shouldn’t have made the trade” chatter.

All this said, Horvat was decent this year. He was third on the team in points and while his underlying numbers weren’t amazing (or even very good), they weren’t worrisome on a broad scale. He’s still a relatively good, 21-year-old centre. So thanks for putting up with this year, Bo.

This goes to the recently moved player who had the most success solely to rub in the face of the Canucks. This should be a pretty obvious one, really..