Kurt Vonnegut once said that there is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre. I’m going to do my best, because tonight’s game was about as close as hockey can get to one. 

We’ll get to the shenanigans in a moment, but believe it or not, there was actually a game of hockey played tonight. We’ll unpack it after the jump.

 

– Lost in all the commotion was the fact that the Canucks actually scored three goals tonight. When the leafs went up 2-0 on goals from Nazem Kadri and Tyler Bozak, it looked as though the Canucks might just call it a day and hope for better luck in New York. They had other plans though, as Derek Dorsett snapped their goalless streak at 159:27 off a beautiful feed from Jannik Hansen. Derek Dorsett. Just like we all expected. 

– Despite the teams’ awful performance, the Sedins had looked poised to break out offensively this week. The floodgates opened tonight, with both Henrik and Daniel potting goals. It’s hard to decide which was more impressive. Henrik exhibited incredible patience on his goal to get Andersen to open up, and Daniel scored from the hash marks while simultaneously being decapitated by Nazem Kadri. (Which we’ll get to in a moment.) Tonight certainly did nothing to quell suspicions that Daniel is the evil twin. 

– The goal was for naught, however, as Jake Gardiner quickly scored to make it 6-3 for the home team, crushing any chances of a Canucks’ comeback, and making it eight straight losses for Vancouver. It’s only been one game, but the Canucks’ already miss Alex Edler and Chris Tanev dearly. Injuries to the Canucks top-pairing has meant Ben Hutton has been pushed into a role he simply isn’t ready for, and even Erik Gudbranson’s staunchest defenders should realize he’s not capable of playing in a top-pairing role. Given that he was on the ice for five straight goals against, I’d imagine that was readily apparent tonight. 

– Both teams played high-event hockey tonight, but all anyone is likely to remember tomorrow were the hits on Daniel Sedin and Jannik Hansen, both of which could be generously described as questionable. The fact that Daniel appeared to be injured on the play made Kadri’s hit look especially ugly. From one angle, it appears as though Kadri made Daniel Sedin’s head the principal point of contact, but if you look closely, you can see that he actually connects with a small portion of the shoulder first. At the very least, the play was dirty, considering that Kadri took multiple strides at Daniel from across the ice to make the hit. It’s unclear whether or not either of these factors will make a difference to the Department of Player Safety, but John Shannon is reporting that the hit is under review by the league. 

– Things just deteriorated from that moment on. Kadri clearly appeared to realize the depth of what had occured, looking up sheepishly for a moment before being pummeled by an irate Jannik Hansen. More fighting ensued courtesy of Derek Dorsett and Alex Burrows, but it was Ryan Miller who made the most memorable impact. When Troy Stecher laid a clean hit on the leafs’ Matt Martin, he immediately dropped the gloves and get into a tussle with the visibly reluctant rookie. Ryan Miller immediately jumped to Stecher’s aid, as Frederik Andersen skated up ice and things quickly devolved into a line brawl. 

– Sometimes, I think the discussion around fighting in hockey can be overly intellectual. The deaths of Rick Rypien, Wade Belak, and Derek Boogaard have soured me tremendously on staged fights in particular, but it’s very hard not to see the behavior of Miller and Hansen as somewhat endearing. Seeing a pillar of the community with a history of concussions go down like that, and witnessing Matt Martin going after a slight, five-foot-ten rookie in one of his first games is something that would obviously get the blood boiling. 

– The Canucks shouldn’t be absolved of their role in tonight’s mayhem either, however. Alex Burrows laid into Morgan Rielly with a spear to the midsection, and Erik Gudbranson was overheard uttering threats in the hallway after the game. The players would be well-advised to let cooler heads prevail when the two teams meet again on December 3rd. The last time a #44 on the Canucks vowed revenge, my childhood was ruined. 

– There are those among us who will be tempted to view tonight as some sort of “turning point” in the Canucks’ season, as if the players standing up for each other is a victory in and of itself that can help the team play with more passion. That’s not the case. The issue isn’t that this team’s leadership core doesn’t care. It’s very clear that they do. The issue is talent deficiency. The team went head-to-head with a Leafs roster that is still rebuilding, and they got stomped. To suggest that the issue with this team is that players like the Sedins and Jannik Hansen have some sort of character deficiency does an extreme disservice to them. The issue, as it has been for the past season and a half, is that they are surrounded by an utterly mediocre cast of bit players. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.