The Twinkie Defense

Could there be a more pointless, wholly created controversy than the Great Twinkie Debacle of 2010. For all those out of the loop, the guys at Puck Daddy have gone over all the gory details, made all the appropriate jokes and put everyone firmly in their place.

The point is, can we even say anything anymore. More and more it seems, that we can DO almost anything, that any action is forgivable, but to say something, now you’re in trouble. I prefer the old days where sticks and stones and their accompanying broken bones were to be avoided. Words? Who gave a (redacted word with the magical power to offend).

Does anyone truly believe that little Darren Pang was trying to be malicious? Oops, I think I may have just offended the little people community. Now, they’re gonna be knocking down the doors at Canucks Army HQ shouting and screaming like a bunch of poncy hair dressers. Darn it, now the Poncy Hair Dressers Union is calling me out on my unfair characterisation and demanding my resignation. I’ll just sit here patiently and await the call from the producers of Spinal Tap, wanting a full written apology for using one of their lines of dialogue in an unprovoked attack on little hair dressers the world over.

I think I’ll just quit now and enjoy a twinkie.