Canucks Player Power Tankings – Mar. 28th, 2016
8 years ago
These Power Tankings were especially hard to put together because most of the Canucks roster was an equal level of bad this week. They scored four goals this week and have gone eight games without winning. I did my best with what I had.
1. Linden Vey:
Linden Vey was not the worst player on the Canucks this week, but he made a play that so beautifully encompassed the team’s power play deficiencies and goal scoring woes that he has to top this list:
2. The injured guys:
This list is shorter than it was last week, but the absence of guys like Sutter, Edler, and Tanev continues to do work for Team Tank. Here’s something to make you sad about the Sutter injury, though:
3. Andrey Pedan:
Andrey Pedan does not look quite ready to slot in as an NHL defenseman. His twitter is really inspiring though. I don’t think he’s talking about last place, but it fits:
4. Matt Bartkowski:
Matt Bartkowski and his deployment continued to be big winners for the Power Tankings this week!
5. Alex Biega:
Biega also does not look quite ready to be a top-6 NHL dman. Look at this incomprehensible gif of him:
6. Derek Dorsett:
Derek Dorsett returned from injury for just one game this week. If he was serious about tanking he’d have played all four.
7. Yannick Weber:
Yannick Weber returned from injury this week, in spirit. Look at him here:
8. Chris Higgins:
Chris Higgins didn’t do anything significant to contribute to the tank this week. He was just around.
9. Emerson Etem:
Emerson Etem snapped is 14-game pointless streak this week, but also this happened to him:
10. Brendan Gaunce:
Brendan Gaunce turned 22 this week and played okay. Look at how youthful and optimistic he looks:
11. Jake Virtanen:
Jake Virtanen is half Finnish but had no finish this week.
12. Jared McCann:
Jared McCann scored in the shootout this week bringing the Canucks dangerously close to an extra point (which they did not get). His celebration was very pro-tank, though:
13. Henrik Sedin:
Henrik Sedin is so high on this list because he’s playing hurt and that’s great for the tank. It would be better if he sat out completely, but Henrik at 50% is pretty okay for the losing.
14. Dan Hamhuis:
Hamhuis didn’t look particularly great this week, but he’s an NHL defenseman and too many of those pose a serious threat to the losing
15. Sven Baertschi:
Sven tallied two points this week! He was in on 50% of the team’s goals.
16. Nikita Tryamkin:
The big man continued to build his legacy this week. He is very tired.
But also very strong!
17. Alex Burrows:
Alex Burrows is definitely not on Team Tank. He played his 1000th professional game this week and was one of the best Canucks. He even scored a goal! It’s no dragon slaying, but it was a nice one all the same:
18. Daniel Sedin:
Not only did Daniel Sedin score a goal this week, but he scored a power-play goal. Wild.
19. Bo Horvat:
Bo Horvat pulled the ultimate anti-tank move this week by ending the Canucks franchise-record breaking goal drought. Bo knows tanking, but he’s not a fan of it.
20. Ben Hutton:
Ben Hutton is doing everything in his power to make the Canucks blueline look decent. It isn’t working, but his effort is very fun to watch. His stats really don’t matter at this point, considering the role he’s being asked to play with Edler and Tanev out. For now, we should all just enjoy the fun.
21. Jacob Markstrom & Ryan Miller:
These poor men. They are trying their best.
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