7 potential goal songs to usher in a new era of Vancouver Canucks hockey
8 months ago
That Wyatt Arndt, I tell ya.
To no one’s surprise, his latest Stanchies was another absolute banger, recapping a ho-hum Canucks’ performance that nevertheless brought in two big shiny points.
My biggest takeaway from the write-up was his observation that this Canucks team is overdue for a brand-new goal song. Especially now that fans are finally approaching the light at the end of the once seemingly never-ending dark tunnel that was the past decade of Vancouver Canucks hockey. Simple Minds’ Don’t You is a fun, whimsical, and upbeat ballad. But is it the song that will define the next era of (hopefully great) Canucks hockey?
Now, you might be thinking it’s too early to be looking at a goal song chance.
The 2008-09 Canucks rebounded from a disappointing 21st-place finish in the previous year, getting to the 2nd round of the playoffs on the backs of point-per-game seasons from the Sedins, a 0.920 save percentage from Luongo, 20-goal seasons from Kesler, Demitra, and Burrows, and double-digit goalscoring years from Bieksa and Edler. Oh, and Mats Sundin was there, too!
Do you know what the real rebound was from ’07-08 to ’08-09? Switching from their then-goal song, U2’s Elevation, to the now-iconic Holiday by Green Day.
Again, I acknowledge how premature it is to usher in a change to an inconsequential aspect of the team in anticipation of a potential change of the guard.
But this Canucks team has been playing like there is reason to believe in a potential change of the guard!
Though the “habits, structure, and accountability” motto was memed to death in the offseason, it’s actually paid off with some immaculate early-season vibes. We aren’t at any kind of milestone game marker yet, but Vancouver has run up a 6-2-1 record with the 4th-best points percentage in the Western Conference. Elias Pettersson is second only to Jack Hughes in league scoring, Quinn Hughes leads all defencemen, four skaters are playing at above a point-per-game pace, Brock Boeser is on pace for 50+ goals, and Thatcher Demko has a sub 2.00 league by goals-against-average, the best among netminders with six or more starts. The club is starting strong, finding ways to win from behind, and scoring A LOT.
The Jim Benning era saw the club ditch an iconic institution in Green Day’s Holiday in favour of a season of U2’s The Miracle, a season of personalized goal songs, a season of Locksley’s The Whip, a one-season return to Holiday, and two seasons of Van Halen’s Aint talkin’ bout love, before settling on Simple Minds Don’t You for the past three seasons.
Now that the club has turned the page on one of the darkest stretches of Vancouver Canucks history, it’s time to choose a goal song that fits a team with a real identity.
A goal song that signals the official transition from the “get in and anything can happen” Country Club era of lame-duck coaches, abysmally unchecked performances from overpaid UFAs, and ceaseless off-ice drama to the Rick Tocchet, no-nonsense, “get what you put in” brand of outworking opponents to win. Especially now that this team has four players on track to score 30+ goals a piece.
So what song should the Canucks go with (don’t worry, I’m not going to suggest Green Day’s Holiday seven times) to bring about the dawn of a new era in Canucks hockey for years to come?
Fair warning for this list: if you ever see me going towards the jukebox or auxiliary cable at a CanucksArmy meetup, stop me before I get there.
With that, let’s get into my suggested goal song alternatives:
The member-berries: Green Day – Holiday
No, I’m kidding.
The song was iconic for an era of Canucks hockey that no longer exists. It just doesn’t work bringing it back. It works in Abbotsford for the AHL team because they have no goal song history to lean on. But Vancouver? There’s just too much nostalgia built into the song to return to it.
Remember when Disney was going to make a biopic about John Scott going to the All-Star Game starring John Scott? Remember The Hangover 2? Remember Zombieland 2? Did you know there was a Frozen 2? Did any of these attempts at capturing the success of the original workout?
That’s just a few reminders of how and why it’s so tricky and ultimately stupid to try and capture lightning in a bottle.
(Continues unironically writing his article about the team capturing the present lightning in a bottle of good vibes by changing the current goal song to something better)
It’s time to send the dreams of a return to Holiday down the boulevard of broken dreams.
The local band’s Holiday-adjacent pop-punk hit: GOB – I Hear You Calling
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I’ve seen you now about the fourth time baby
But you know that I’ve got nothing to say
Its so charming to look on your face but your eyes
Inviting something I just can’t do now I’ve been around
About you hood I’m looking for you just to shine some light
On my day feels like ages since I’ve been out your way
I’ve been caught up with handful of new sensationI hear you calling, calling for me out in the night
But it’s all bad, and I know that
I don’t know if it was because the song was on the soundtrack for EA’s NHL 2002, but it’s odd that the 2000s eras Canucks never called up Langley’s GOB as a goal song option.
I hear you calling rocks as a goal song.
Sure, the lyrics don’t make any sense as a goal song, but do any of them? Holiday, Don’t You, or Elevation? So, who cares? Goal songs are about vibes that give life to a building and its fanbase, and I Hear You Calling is an excellent option to signal that the vibes are back to being good.
The attempt to get hip hop back in hockey: DMX – X Gon’ Give it To Ya
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First we gonna rock, then we gonna roll
Then we let it pop, go, let it go
X gon’ give it to ya (uh), he gon’ give it to ya
X gon’ give it to ya (uh), he gon’ give it to ya[several verses that will get me fired if I post them]
Let me be clear.
It would have to be the clean version of the song!
Right now, there is only one other hockey team in the NHL using a rap banger for their goal song: the Carolina Hurricanes with Petey Pablo’s Raise Up.
DMX’s hits are iconic; they go hard, they’re instantly recognizable, they contain dawgs barkin, and they are appreciated by a large enough demographic where the only pushback would be, “Eh, it’s fine, but I’ve belted this one out too many times at The Factory after someone recommends it as a joke.”
The Chris Faber Special: Nickelback and Josey Scott – Hero
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And they say
That a hero could save us
I’m not gonna stand here and wait
I’ll hold onto the wings of the eagles
Watch as we all fly away
Considering Chad Kroeger was spotted with Francesco Aquilini at an Abbotsford preseason game last year, is it that farfetched to believe in a Nickelback/Canucks collab?
This team currently has several heroes on it. Elias Pettersson is legitimately challenging McDavid for Art Ross supremacy right now, Quinn Hughes is making that Paywall site look ridiculous with his Norris-caliber performance, and Thatcher Demko is looking like prime Bobby Lu.
The song itself is from the perspective of Spiderman—specifically Tobey Maguire’s Spiderman 2—in which he, an ordinary teenager struck with superhero powers, took the law into his own hands to help his community for the greater good.
The Vancouver Canucks have a couple of ordinary teenagers (mid-20s, actually) struck with superhero powers (being really f****** good at hockey), taking over games for the betterment of their team, their legacy, and the fanbase at large.
It’s a little slow, and it needs some more punch to match the “good vibe” energy required of a goal song. But baby, if there was ever a time to use a Nickelback song to celebrate goals, it might be this one.
The “Let’s capitalize on the Taylor Swift marketing machine”: Abandoned By Bears – We are never ever ever getting back together
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[Pre-Chorus]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
We called it off again last night, but
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
This time, I’m telling you, I’m telling you[Chorus]
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
Like, ever
Let’s be honest: Taylor Swift would probably charge the team an arm and a leg to use this song as the goal song, especially if it’s going to be played (quick math: 21 goals in 4 home games = 5.25 goals per home game x 37 more home games left) 192 times this season!
So, let’s kill two birds with one stone:
- A Sweden-based easycore band that, at the very least, Dan Murphy will love
- A Taylor Swift song that both children and adults love and adore
- A cover that isn’t an embarrassing house remix (looking at you Don’t Stop Believing house remix)
- Goes hard
Will the old heads of the Canucks front office like the spooky loud yelling? Probably not.
But if the club is aiming to change the perception of Vancouver as a dead-silent corporate arena that needs “make some noise” calls every whistle, then maybe easycore is the way to go.
A reminder that Pantera wrote the Dallas Stars a metal-infused shout song for the playoffs that became so synonymous with the team that it’s stuck around for almost 25 years!
BONUS alternative Taylor Swift choice purely for the vibes: Taylor Swift – Is It Over Now?
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[Pre-Chorus]
Let’s fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later (Oh)
If she’s got blue eyes, I will surmise that you’ll probably date her (Oh, no)
You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor (Oh)
You search in every model’s bed for somethin’ greater, baby
Let’s fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later (Oh)
If she’s got blue eyes, I will surmise that you’ll probably date her (Oh, no)
You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor (Oh)
You search in every model’s bed for somethin’ greater, baby
[Chorus]
Was it over when she laid down on your couch?
Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?
“Come here,” I whispered in your ear
In your dream as you passed out, baby
Was it over then?
And is it over now?
Was it over when she laid down on your couch?
Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?
“Come here,” I whispered in your ear
In your dream as you passed out, baby
Was it over then?
And is it over now?
If CS&E wants to make 8-trillion dollars selling PETEYLOR/TAYLORSSON shirseys this season. This is the way.
The additional ex-CanucksArmy acquisition: King Bob – Figure It Out
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I’m just a guy who’s got too much stuff
I’m so lazy I still got my f****** Christmas lights up
I used to think pretty highly of myself
Turns out I’m just a f****** idiot like everybody else[OUTRO]
I thought I’d figured it out
I thought I’d figured it out
I thought I’d figured it out
I thought I’d figured it out
A few years ago, the Vancouver Canucks hired Ryan Biech as part of their amateur scouting department as a video analyst. Just a few weeks ago, they hired Chris Faber to be their first senior writer and prospect content guy. Why not triple down and add another ex-CanucksArmy Alum to the books by choosing the totally not-mediocre pop-punk banger Figure It Out from former managing editor Jackson MacDonald’s band, King Bob?
Before anyone worries about the cursing, remember that there used to be “explicit” and “clean” versions of albums you could buy in stores. I’m still recovering from buying the clean version of Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water over here! I’m sure a local band would happily oblige the team with a clean version for arena play!
The deeply stupid and safe 1980s upbeat Don’t You-adjacent pop-rock ballad: Dragon Sound – Friends
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[Chorus]
Friends through eternity, loyalty, honesty
We’ll stay together through thick or thin
Friends forever, we’ll be together
We’re on top ’cause we play to win[Verse 2]
We’ll make our dreams come true
There’s nothing we can’t do
We’ve been together for so long
When I’m weak, you make me strong
I know I can depend on you
To show the way and see me through
What could be a more positive representation of what the Vancouver Canucks are trying to build here than a 1980s pop-rock ballad that preaches the values of friendship, honesty, loyalty, and sticking together through thick or thin?
The lyrics read like a Canucks training camp slogan hype video as it stands, the beat is catchy, and it’s a throwback jam from the 80s that will appeal to the bigwigs in Canucks front office who want something safe, inoffensive and gets the people going.
Suppose the argument against Dragon Sound is that it’s goofy. May I remind you that the current goal song was popularized by a 1980s coming-of-age comedy-drama about a ragtag bunch of misfits serving their detention? Dragon Sound’s Friends was popularized in a coming-of-age crime-action movie about a ragtag bunch of orphans who defeat the evils of the Miami drug trade through the bonds of brotherhood, Tae-Kwon-Do, and rock music.
Now that the Vancouver Canucks have served their detention—gestures toward the last near-decade of awful hockey—it’s time to get a goal song that captures their push to defeat the evils of the NHL through habits, structure, accountability, and extraordinary highlight-reel goals.
Recent articles from Cody Severtson
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