The Canucks played two games this week and participated in their annual Superskills event, so this week’s power rankings are a little bit about hockey and a lot about cute photos. Read on to find out which Canucks had good weeks and which Canucks have adorable children.
1. Chris Tanev:
Chris Tanev only played one game, but he was the only Canuck to score a goal this week. He continues to be a defensive dreamboat in spite of his likely lingering injury. And his goal song is still the best.
2. Jacob Markstrom:
The best way to win the hearts of Canucks fans is to be Eddie Lack. The second best way is to ruin Ryan Kesler’s day.
Kesler is next for Anahiem to a chorus of boos is stopped by Markstrom.
— TSN Radio Vancouver (@TSN1040) January 2, 2016
3. Andrey Pedan:
Chris Tanev’s return sent Andrey Pedan to the press box, but the giant Lithuanian man owned the Canucks Superskills, which took place on Saturday. Pedan won both the fastest skater contest and the hardest shot contest. And he wore a cape!
We have a new winner! Andrey Pedan won the fastest skater in 14.02 seconds and hardest shot with 102mph. pic.twitter.com/mGdG1pSRCF
— Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 3, 2016
4. Daniel Sedin:
Neither Sedin got a point this week, but Daniel Played in his 1100th game so he gets to be ranked ahead of Henrik. He is also apparently interested in stealing Jacob Markstrom’s job. We will monitor this situation closely.
5. Henrik Sedin:
Henrik Sedin had a last-minute breakaway against the Ducks and his reaction to his own slow legs is amazing. Total dad move.
When you are one of the best players in the world, but terrible at breakaways. #Canucks pic.twitter.com/mBFAHMrwHI
— Ryan Biech (@ryanbiech) January 2, 2016
6. Alex Edler and his child:
Edler-Tanev is such a nice pairing and we are all glad that they have been reunited, but Edler-Baby is a way better combination. Look at the tiny pacifier. Aww.
7. Alex Burrows:
Alex Burrows snapped a 17-game pointless streak this week. On one hand, this is very good for Burrows so he gets bumped into the top-10 for this. On the other hand, wow.
8. Jannik Hansen:
Hansen received a $2000 fine for diving and was even mocked by Ryan Kesler (haha!) for embellishing, so hopefully both the league and Mr. Kesler saw this:
Hansen finished off his fastest lap attempt in style today. pic.twitter.com/b4BJWJh98F
— Vancouver Canucks (@VanCanucks) January 2, 2016
9. Derek Dorsett and his baby:
Oh my goodness Derek Dorsett has a cute baby. With all due respect to Daniel Sedin’s one-hat hat trick, these gifs are now the most important hat-related Canucks content of the season.
10. Chris Higgins and his baby:
Chris Higgins stole his baby’s pacifier so he’s obviously in the top 10. If you disagree with this logic you are in the wrong place.
11. Radim Vrbata:
Vrbata had an okay week. Here he is with two children looking through autographed frames.
12. Bo Horvat:
Horvat was the only Canuck to actively participate in Earthquake Twitter, the best kind of Twitter.
EARTHQUAKE!! Did that scare anyone else as much as it scared me?? Lol
— Bo Horvat (@BoHorvat) December 30, 2015
13. Alex Biega:
Alex Biega continued to do as much as anyone could ask of him this week!
14. Ben Hutton:
Ben Hutton managed to avoid the tradition rookie whipped cream assault at Superskills. Instead he treated these children like horses.
15. Linden Vey:
Linden Vey may have become a legend if he’d scored in the shootout against Anaheim. For now, he’s still just Linden Vey.
16. Adam Cracknell:
Adam Cracknell went 4-for-4 in the shooting accuracy contest at Superskills. Daniel Sedin went 4-for-5. Everything’s coming up Cracknell!
17. Yannick Weber:
Weber did not win the hardest shot competition this year, which was his one thing. Poor Yannick.
18. Brandon Prust:
Brandon Prust’s Twitter account continues to be the toughest member of the Vancouver Canucks.
Not even a 5000$ fine? @JSportsnet .. Wonder which 1 was more vicious #joke
— Brandon Prust (@BrandonPrust8) December 29, 2015
19. Matt Bartkowski:
Unfortunately, the most memorable Bartkowski moment this week was Ryan Kesler’s first ever goal against the Vancouver Canucks.
Kesler vs Bartkowski isn’t a fair match-up and it’s not even like we’re talking 2011 Kesler.
— Satiar Shah (@SatiarShah) January 2, 2016
20. Jared McCann:
Jared McCann was a healthy scratch this week and was the latest rookie to be pied in the face at Superskills. Rough times.
21. Joe Cannata:
I think this is a photo of Joe Cannata with pen on his face. I’m not totally sure if this is him but it could be.
22. Dan Hamhuis:
Dan Hamhuis is alive and well, babysitting some kids. Go Dan!
23. Ryan Miller, Luca Sbisa, Brandon Sutter:
All of these guys are also hurt and did not appear at Superskills, so I guess they have to be ranked below Hamhuis.
24. Jake Virtanen:
No Canuck has had a worse week than Jake Virtanen. He is probably wishing he was getting pied in the face.
Great work, I always enjoye your articles. They make me laugh and enlighten me at the same time! 🙂