For some of you, getting your report card was one of the most exciting times of the year. If your grades were good, maybe your parents would give you a little extra allowance to spend, or let you get that video game you wanted. For others, report card time was a tangled mess of gut-wrenching nervousness and oh my god Mr. Smith gave me a C- in English MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME.
Either way, welcome to the Canucks Army Weekly Report Card, where we’ll take all that repressed childhood anxiety, bottle it back up, and apply it to your (presumably) favourite hockey team instead. 
Read past the jump!
A couple of notes before we begin:
  1. This feature was supposed to run on Monday, but due to some technical issues with war-on-ice.com, it was postponed until today.
  2. We’ve seen your feedback about wanting a more “meaningful” sample to draw conclusions from. We will be doing this by running a season-to-date player report on the first Monday from each month. These weekly grades are meant to be merely a check-in as to who had a good week and who didn’t, and a place for you to discuss player performances and yell at me in the comments.
  3. We’ll have defensemen graded too. That post will run in a few hours.
So without further adieu, let’s begin!
Time to open your hearts and minds to Linden Vey: the Winger.
Zack Kassian’s most frequent linemates are -25 and -35 for Corsi, compared to Kass’ -2. In case you were wondering where the problem was.
What the hockey gods giveth, the hockey gods put a post in front of to taketh away.
Not only did Bo Horvat potentially take the 4th line C spot, but he might have usurped Brad Richardson too.
Vrbata went goalless last week. This week, he totally Radim-ed himself.
Chris Higgins is quietly on pace to eclipse 50 points for the 2nd time in his career. He won’t get there, but it’s still impressive.
Daniel Sedin played his 1,000th NHL game on Sunday, and from the looks of things, he seems to have 1,000 more in the tank.
The Canucks have a combined 15 goals in 68 games from Hansen, Dorsett, Vey, and Horvat this season. They got a combined 15 all of last year (in 201 games) from Sestito, Dalpe, Schroeder, and Weise.
I can’t get over the head fake Dorsett threw on Michal Rozsival Sunday night for something as simple as retrieving a dump-in. A thing of beauty:
No, YOU’RE already putting in an order for a Bo Horvat #53 home jersey.