Welcome back to WDYTT, the only hockey column on the internet constructed with memory-foam (patent pending.)

Speaking of memories, they’re half the reason we like sports in the first place. Really, sports fandom would be nothing without some sense of continuity, and it’s all those things that we’ve been through before – the good and the bad – that imbues us with such passion.

But not all memories are so passion-driven. It has been noted that a particularly Canadian pastime is for old hockeyheads to sit around and list of the names of random and obscure hockey players. And, sure enough, if you watch for it, you can probably catch you and your hockey compatriots engaging in it all the time.

Canucks fans are no different. There’s more than 50 years of history at play here, and that history includes some of the more memorable personalities to ever play the sport of hockey.

And, more related to our topic today, those not-so-memorable personalities, or those personalities-only-memorable-to-you.

Everyone has their personal favourites, their cult classics, their random names they can’t shake.

Today, as we continue to embrace Summer Silliness, we’re not asking you to think particularly hard, or reach any meaningful conclusions. We’re asking you to reach only into the forefront of your brain, and tell us which obscure Canucks-related names live there, forever stuck in your working memory.

For this author, it’s Ronalds Kenins. No particular reason why. It just is.

So who is it for you?

This week, we’re asking:

Let it be known in the comment section.

You answered below!

Rename the Canucks!? A name that’s been around since BCB was a baby? The only thing the Canucks need to do is free the orca, which was the corporate symbol of an American owner. In other words, ditch it.

Vancouver Free Willlies.

Maybe “Canucks” isn’t politically correct anyway.

But lets stick to the original uniform, it’s a classic. Perfect West Coast colors.

And while we’re being silly, let’s only retire the players name and not the number.

Beavers…the hockey stick in the crest can be replaced with a chewed tree in the middle of a lake…

Team name?

Dunsmuir DoughHeads.

Vancouver Viaduckts (uwhuah-uwhuah).

West Coast Shrieking Harpies.

Stanley’s Cups.

Allvin and the Chipofftheboards.

Stinky Sock Hockey Club (ode to Utah).

Vancouver Gloom.

Bring back the Millionaires so at least the fans can proudly brag that we have won a Cup.

The Vancouver Riot.

Easy. After 50 years it would be:

HEART BREAKERS 😭.

When they changed the logo to the Orca and set up Orca Bay, I had thought they would rebrand to Vancouver Orca. As you know nobody knows what a Canuck is, let alone who Johnny Canuck was as a symbol, lol.

Canucks is such a great name that this team uses it twice, but to answer this fun question, I suggest changing from Vancouver to BC and the nickname would be the “BC CAMPERS.”

BC because this really is BC’s team, not just Vancouver’s

CAMPERS are in reference to those that are happy just being here and always just chilling, also a shout out to the vast wilderness of the province, and finally a bit of a political reference to the affordability crisis in BC.

Vancouver Blue Tarp Campers. A hint of woodsmoke is piped through the HVAC system between periods. The restrooms are all dark one-holers and you have to bring you own TP. Napkins at the concessions are damp paper towel rolls. The main bar is called the Smoky Firepit and the lights are tinted Tarp Blue. The feature drink is the “Banana Slug.” The first intermission entertainment is a race between two teams to see which can get the most people into a 2-person expedition tent. The second intermission entertainment is a race to see which team can pack up a wet tent and two soggy sleeping bags into their stuff sacks the fastest. Ticket sales are done through the BC Parks campsite reservation system. Lead corporate sponsor is Pemco Insurance.

The Vancouver Rough Riders.

I jokingly call them the Cannots when they’re losing – cannot win a game, cannot make the playoffs, cannot win a Cup. I always liked the Voodoo logo but that has no real connection to Vancouver other than alliteration. Same could be said for Venom or Vipers or Vanguard, but they wouldn’t be the worst names.

I’d consider a maritime nickname that represents the ocean area over a land-based name, seeing as how a name like the Grizzlies didn’t leave a good taste in anyone’s mouth. That would rule out names like Bears, Cougars, Wolves, Fox, Raccoons, Ravens, Crows, etc. Sockeyes would maybe be one I’d consider – has a connection to the salmon runs and to pugilism in hockey. Or after the forestry industry and in line with their current name: Lumberjacks. On a side note, I think the Abbotsford team missed the boat with Canucks, should have been called the Barnstormers after the world famous Abbotsford Airshow.

Vancouver Recyclers. The recycling symbol works as a patch and Johnny Canuck with a big bag of empties over his shoulder as the main logo.

I like names that refer to local geography/nature/animals (e.g. Colorado Avalanche, BC Lions) or predominant jobs in the economy (e.g. Edmonton Oilers, Calgary Roughnecks, Pittsburgh Steelers). That’s why I think the Canucks’ appropriate colours are green (forest), blue (ocean), & white (snow caps on mountains).

From the once dominant forest industry, my choice for a new hockey club name would be Vancouver Loggers. Loggers is a BC term for fallers and others who help extract trees from the forest and turn them into logs. (Lumberjacks are from back east; it’s not a term used in BC).

As alternatives, I like names that refer to our local fish and fishing industry, like Salmonbellies or Sockeyes, but they are already taken. Grizzlies was an excellent name but again already taken. Cougars would be a good name, but the BC Lions have taken that name too (Mountain Lions=Cougars). I suppose Bears would be OK, but Boston has a similar name. Beavers might be OK, too. Orcas would be good and we already have the orca in the logo, but the “C” would no longer have any meaning.

No names occur to me to reflect our mountainous geography except Peaks which isn’t a very good name, imo. I guess Whitecaps (already taken) can refer to snowy peaks on mountain tops but I always think of that name as describing waves on the ocean, as the Whitecaps’ original logo suggested. As for names related to the sea, Seattle has largely occupied that field.

The Vancouver Billionaires…don’t forget inflation.