The St. Louis Blues are a hockey team that exists. This much I know to be true.

I, quite frankly, routinely forget that the Blues are there. Going by the abysmal viewership of the Blues vs. Blackhawks Winter Classic game in Chicago, I suspect I am not the only one. But, hey, that’s not the Blues’ fault at all. At least they actually won that game!

This is high-and-mighty talk from a team without a Cup about a team with a fairly recent and very singular Cup win. The point is that unless they are comically bad or on a Cinderella story run to the finals, the Blues largely fly under the radar of the entire league. For anyone who is not a passionate Blues fan, they are not a team to hate; they are simply a team to acknowledge is there whenever you remember the Central Division exists.

We didn’t even make it to puck drop tonight before there was a London Knights mention, courtesy of Amazon Prime’s pre-game feature spot on Blues centre Robert Thomas. If you’re unaware, the London Knights are the Kansas City Chiefs of major junior hockey. At least I actually like the Knights. No matter what game or where, somehow, that team will come up. We’ve had a pretty decent break, seeing as the most recent Knights alumni in Vancouver was Bo Horvat two years ago now, packing his bags during a different dismally chaotic winter for the team. I’ve been reminded of this period of time a lot recently. If you remember the state of the Vancouver Canucks from January to February 2023, this is not a comparison that you want.

Honestly, this felt like a Hail Mary game. With the team on the precipice of a thus-far nonexistent blockbuster trade that I am tired of hearing about, unable to string together back-to-back wins since December 1st or even anything remotely looking like a passionate and coordinated hockey game, they needed this. Beating the best team in the league, the Washington Capitals, followed by a significantly worse team in the Blues, isn’t just a breath of fresh air but a lifeline. The equivalent of the couple, you know, having another kid to keep the marriage together or a duct tape fix on an exhaust pipe. It may not be a permanent solution, but it’ll put off the inevitable for at least a little while.

As it turns out, Blue Monday is not just the name of an incredible song or a made-up day meant to sell vacations to sad people with Vitamin D deficiencies, but what the Blues were left with following a 5-2 thumping from the Canucks on the road in Missouri.

Award for Innovation and Immersion

One of the best parts of the Prime Monday Night hockey broadcasts is the 45 minutes of pre-game show features, multiple angles of the arena and on-ice warmup footage broadcast under the “Home Ice Access” banner. ‘Best parts’ if you’re into that kind of thing, or at the very least, unique if you’re not. The countdown clock they have in the upper corner counting down to game time is a harbinger of hope if your team is doing well, and basically, the Doomsday clock if your team is not. The Canucks were five minutes to midnight before this game. I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong about all-out destruction.

If you’ve ever wanted the in-arena NHL experience at home, just play the Prime Zamboni cam in the background, get someone to shoot pucks off your living room wall, pour yourself a singular Bud Light and burn a $20 bill. That will pretty much give you the same effect.

Award for Two Besties Doing Their Best

The Canucks start things off almost four minutes into this game with something I honestly forgot they knew how to do: striking first.

Quinn Hughes knocks the puck loose at his own blue line and gets it through the neutral zone, and he is simply too fast. It’s not like they don’t try to stop him, sort of.

Hughes ends up shooting a graceful pass underneath the legs of a diving Ryan Suter desperately trying to defend, and Conor Garland is right where he needs to be to tip it past Jordan Binnington. It’s 1-0.

This is just an elite play from both of them here (with Jake DeBrusk picking up a secondary) and an example of their off-ice chemistry translating to the game. There’s inherent trust here, which has been in short supply on this team lately. They can read each other.

The Prime broadcasts are great, if only for the fact that *multiple angles* of Quinn Hughes passing underneath Ryan Suter for that Conor Garland goal is the funniest thing I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/XCXavtVH9p

— arielle (@ellycelly) January 28, 2025

The multiple replay angles on this goal truly bring out the hysterical, cartoonlike nature of this entire sequence. I’m so sorry to Ryan Suter, but this is the most I’ve laughed at a Canucks game in weeks.

Swan Song Academy Award

If that wasn’t enough excitement, Vancouver decides to keep it going off the very next faceoff.

After sharing what I can only assume are some family-friendly, kind words of encouragement, J.T. Miller takes up with Brayden Schenn, and the gloves come off.

Honestly, J.T. Miller showed off some of his best work in weeks in this game. He looked completely locked in in greasy areas, dare I say even looked faster on his feet, and (spoiler alert) netted a Gordie Howe hat trick with an assist and a goal after this moment. It’s like when you’re about to break up with your partner, but they suddenly do something incredibly endearing or thoughtful that makes you pause and recollect the good times. Then you convince yourself you can work it out, so you stay with them another six months, and end up miserable anyway, wishing you had ended things when you had the chance. Look, I love J.T. Miller. I always have, I always will. I just don’t think I am in love with J.T. Miller on this team anymore. This game was a hint of the spark that used to be there between us!

Carson Soucy takes a hooking penalty shortly after these respective fighting minors, so Miller gets a friend in the penalty box for a short time. Forks were also found in kitchens. It is what it is, and the Canucks manage to kill it off anyhow.

A bit later, Elias Pettersson does what everyone thinks he’s incapable of and contributes to a great opportunity for J.T. Miller – but wait, scratch that, it’s the other Elias Pettersson. This is a great move from the young lad to get the puck out of the chaos down low in their own zone and create a breakout chance. Nils Höglander is the middleman on this one.

I really like this following shift from Filip Hronek and the whole group in the latter half of the period. It’s maybe the most solid even-strength game in the offensive zone we have seen from the team in this game so far. They just look like they brought their intuition today instead of leaving it in the car before walk-ins like they have been this year. They did not leave their forecheck on the kitchen counter this time.

Award for Being So Over and Then Being So Back

With just five minutes to lapse in the first frame, it looked like the Blues finally got one back. Dylan Holloway just barely tipped the puck past Kevin Lankinen. That’s it, it’s over.

Hughes seems to get taken out by his own goaltender in what was truly a confusing moment to watch live. Et tu, Kevin? Events Quinn Hughes has been involved in during this game that look straight out of a Looney Tunes episode? Two.

The goal was called off for goaltender interference, so the Blues naturally challenged the call. After review, the no-goal call stood, and the game remained 1-0. I probably could have told you that. Instead, I used this opportunity to scroll on my phone and grab a Diet Coke, like an intermission at a middle school play.

Look, to me, this is goaltender interference. There is a player in the paint restricting Lankinen’s movement and ability to, well, tend the goal. You could argue that Holloway didn’t have any choice but to get knocked into Lankinen, but “Did he at least try not to?” is basically what it comes down to here. My opinion doesn’t mean there wasn’t hefty debate, nor does it mean that the Blues shouldn’t have called for a review. I am sure everyone will agree and be normal about this totally non-controversial topic of goaltender interference.

Most Powerful Compact Hybrid Vehicle Award

Conor Garland. That’s all I have to say.

Our beloved high-powered Corolla Garland revved his engine for us, folks.

His phenomenal game continued past his opening goal. With Holloway serving the Blues penalty for a failed coach’s challenge, Garland capitalized on it for a power-play goal.

This well-exemplifies how Garland’s size is used absolutely to his advantage in high-danger areas on the ice. Whether other teams still underestimate him or if he is simply able to skate faster and more nimbly than a bigger-framed power forward, he’s always right where he needs to be, when he needs to be.

Brock Boeser sends in a firecracker of a shot from the slot, and bafflingly so, the Blues leave him open to pick up on the rebound. Garland sees this puck and gets it in like how Scooby Doo’s eyes pop when he spots a Scooby Snack.

if you see Garland like this you best believe he about to cook #Canucks pic.twitter.com/S8BjaeoKal

— CanuckRants (@CanuckRants) January 28, 2025

For once in this miserable year, the Canucks are up 2-0 in the first period.

To close out the dying seconds of the first, the Canucks didn’t even bother to play the puck, rather they stood around looking like a disorganized college hacky sack circle. It feels odd to not be desperate, for once.

Award for Best Intermission Shenanigans

Does Chris Pronger know who Judy Garland is? https://t.co/mPizIeQgtE pic.twitter.com/fVPO2FhcCz

— arielle (@ellycelly) January 28, 2025

Did we ever find out if Chris Pronger knew who Judy Garland was? Don’t even get me started on Liza Minnelli.

Pius Suter has a little moment a few minutes into the second period where he regains possession in the neutral zone and creates a scoring chance for Conor Garland.

I like how he protects the puck here and sends it off to Garland in a manner that looks methodical rather than in a moment of panic. Maybe my bar is pretty low, but Suter’s defensive game staying sturdy in his best offensive year to date is reassuring during a season where this team is anything but. This would not be the first or the last time Pius Suter caught my eye in this period. More on this soon.

Robert Thomas takes a tripping penalty against Derek Forbort, the kind that can only be described as “Yup, that’s what that is.”

J.T. Miller has some really fantastic moments on the ensuing power play, especially this golden moment where he gives an ever-so-subtle tip to a Brock Boeser shot to set up Quinn Hughes at the point for an Elias Pettersson one-timer. It’s classic PP1 stuff, one that reminds you of simpler times. Feud shmeud, if the hockey looked like this again all the time, we wouldn’t be hearing something every time someone so much as breathed in the direction of another guy in the room. But the point is that the hockey hasn’t.

Miller’s efforts pay off, and he nets Vancouver’s second power play of the game shortly thereafter. The Blues absolutely fumble a line change and Quinn Hughes is able to send a stretch pass down to Miller, who just has to aim and shoot. Yeesh, you would think that hockey is easy or something.

I really wish J.T. Miller didn’t have himself a game because now I’m getting teary-eyed and nostalgic just as he’s about to get shipped off to Dallas to become best friends with Jordie Benn or something.

After this goal, the Blues replaced Jordan Binnington with Joel Hofer. I tried to muster any empathy I might have for Jordan Binngington in this situation, but I came up empty.

On the flip side of attitudes towards goaltenders, Kevin Lankinen picks up a point on Miller’s goal here, making him the first Canucks goaltender to earn a point this year and the 31st in Canucks franchise history.

Unfortunately, chances of a shutout are blown once Dylan Holloway gets a goal that actually stands, this time. It’s on a power play, following a tripping call drawn by…Dylan Holloway. Yikes. Don’t piss the guy off, I guess.

As if it couldn’t get worse, Nils Höglander takes a double minor penalty for a pretty harsh high-stick on Robert Thomas – who has serious main-character syndrome when it comes to this game, I have to say.

As unintentional as it might be, you learn pretty quickly in the NHL how to avoid these types of calls as best you can, and recklessness should be penalized on both sides accordingly (not that it ever is; I’m still thinking about that uncalled high stick on Hughes from last spring. It’s on, McDavid). With giant fibreglass weapons comes great responsibility.

Just like that, Höglander is back in Rick Tocchet’s doghouse like they’re Charlie Brown and Snoopy.

Prison Break Award

Tonight, Tyler Myers had his first game back since his suspension for cross-checking Edmonton Oiler Evan Bouchard. You would think he was coming back from 12 years in Azkaban or a stint in Guantanamo, not three games spent munching on Pringles in the press box. Myers was on one in this game, completely focused on his defensive game creating multiple offensive chances and shutting down the Blues like a bad government cuts social services. He has a goal and an assist to show for it.

I counted more than once that Myers complimented or even covered for his D-partner in Quinn Hughes, which feels wrong to even comprehend.

One of the best certified Big Friendly Giant moments in this game was when he set up Pius Suter for a glorious shorthanded (!!!) goal to put them up 4-1.

The Canucks are on their four-minute double-minor penalty kill after Höglander’s unfortunate fencing tutorial.

Pius Suter looks as surprised as we all did in this moment. What a nifty move from Myers and, moreover, from Suter. This is Vancouver’s second shorthanded goal of the year after Kiefer Sherwood’s against the Colorado Avalanche. Suter now has both a power play and a shorthanded goal on the year, four overall career shorthanded goals, and 12 goals on the season.

Poor Joel Hofer, who’s a baby goalie by most standards. The kid didn’t even see it coming.

Award For Not Blowing the Lead

The third period is where I have begun mentally checking out of Vancouver Canucks games, but it seems like it’s the same for them too. That is why I’ve been checking out. They cannot hold a lead to save their lives and usually look like they’re already thinking about what season of Seinfeld they’re going to watch when they get home. They made sure to keep me awake through this one.

Award for Making an Attempt

The Blues take a brief glimpse at putting up a fight before deciding that’s not really for them, to which I say, ‘Thank you very much.’ Colton Parayko gets one past Lankinen. It’s 4-2.

The Blues pulled Joel Hofer for the extra skater with four-and-a-half minutes left in the game. Honestly, this is when things started to get interesting, as the Canucks dealt with a little 6-on-5.

Award for Scoring Without the Puck

Carson Soucy loses a skate blade, and the play continues at the referee’s discretion as per the league rulebook (Rule 65.2). The grind never stops, even when the grind has a guy hopping around on one foot looking like a fool. You can watch him lose the blade on the play, and he even drops to his knees to keep going. I often drop to my knees in the dying minutes of Canucks games, but it is usually in devastation.

Derek Forbort subtly tucks the blade into Kevin Lankinen’s net – smart move. Overall, this is a safe place for it to be for the time being until they get a whistle, away from active play, but I can’t help thinking about a world in which this would count as an own goal. In an ideal situation, the skate blade could be attached to Lankinen’s catcher, and he could become Kevin Scissorhands, the most feared goalie in the Western Conference.

Cinderella does, in fact, get her glass slipper back.

If it makes Soucy feel any better, this sequence directly allows for Conor Garland to get a shot on the empty net in an attempt for the hat trick. Sometimes our suffering and public humiliation have nobility.

Award for Sealing the Deal

Tyler Myers continues to make the Blues work like their rent is due and finishes his campaign with a salt-in-the-wound empty netter. If you’ve never heard the Mortal Kombat voice say “FINISH HIM” in your head before while watching a hockey game, now would be the perfect time.

Garland goes to the box for hooking after this, and as much as I enjoy the Blues’ organ rendition of Alice in Chains’ Man in the Box, I do not enjoy Garland losing out on the final chances for a hat trick.

Look, I started this Stanchies by talking about how I often forget about the St. Louis Blues because I have no strong feelings about them on either end of the love-hate spectrum. I do have to say that one of the only ways I interact with the Blues is by following their incredible organist, Jeremy A. Boyer, on social media, and I recommend you all do the same. Really, follow all the NHL organists if you can find them. They’re the real MVPs of every season.

It’s 5-2, and this game is done: dead in the water for the Blues, and it looks like the Canucks are getting away with it.

Just like John Forslund said as the broadcast concluded, Kevin Lankinen continues to be a “road warrior” like he’s rolling with Mad Max and Furiosa. This was his 18th win this season, a career season-high for him.

Award for the Worst Thing I Had to See With My Eyes Tonight

Chef'd up. ✅ pic.twitter.com/0ZyPJja8ZQ

— Sports on Prime Canada (@SportsOnPrimeCA) January 28, 2025

Award for the Best Overall Summary of the Game

this #canucks team when they hear that a trade with the buffalo sabres might be back on the table pic.twitter.com/DvXQDh1Pty

— Memarzadeh (@ArashMemarzadeh) January 28, 2025

And so it is done. The Canucks have broken their curse of being incapable of winning subsequent games. They have not done so since November 29th and December 1st (two OT wins against the Buffalo Sabres and Detroit Red Wings, respectively). Now, nearly two months later, that proverbial monkey is off their very real backs.

The best news? They hit 30 shots on goal, proving that it can still be done. The Canucks’ trip through middle America continues on Wednesday against the Nashville Predators, the first of a back-to-back, with the Dallas Stars on Thursday. Here’s to hoping that Southern hospitality isn’t just a myth.

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