NBC Sports has really enjoyed their little toy poodle, the NHL, since signing their monster deal back in 2011. It has been great filler for the NFL offseason and has brought ratings that have steadily climbed. On Tuesday, an article came out about head NBC Sports big wig Mark Lazarus, and how he wants to see the playoff beard abolished.

This guy has watched hockey before, right?

The NHL playoff beard is about as mandatory as the playoff towel and Game 7 overtime. It would feel wrong without it. This guy thinks he knows hockey, how to sell the game and what it should look like? Take a seat bud.

Lazarus’ argument was that we should see the players faces and show off their good looking mugs to further sell the game is ridiculous. That’s like saying NFL players can’t wear colored mouth guards under their helmets. No one can tell. If the camera is isolated on a player’s face, you know that player.

I recognize more hockey players WITH full facial hair than I do clean shaven. Sounds silly right? Henrik and Daniel Sedin without their patented red thick and thin goatees respectively just look creepy! Brent Burns could probably go unnoticed when he has the clean shave after the spring, well…not this spring.

Sure, at this point in the Stanley Cup Final beards are full grown and ugly, rookies have the worst possible patch growth you’ve ever seen and small animals are burrowing and taking up residence. That’s just how it goes, and the players aren’t the only ones taking part in this tradition.

When the Canucks officially make the playoffs every year, it’s time to put the razor away as fans and hope and pray that beard gets ridiculously predatory. In my lifetime, that’s happened once and man was it a beauty. The day after Game 7 in 2011, I had some fun on shave day too. Busted out the Charlie Chaplin look, of course my wife thought I resembled another famous figure.

That beard is as much a part of the run as taping your stick a certain way, sitting row 4 seat 8 section 102 while drinking your morning coffee and going over how you’ll play your opponent – it’s in hockey’s lifeblood. What Lazarus is trying to suggest is nothing short of ludacris. He has to be one of maybe 10 people that feel the same way.

Like the wins on the whiteboard counting down to those final four needed to win the Stanley Cup, the playoff beard measures the battles that have been fought as well. Sure, there are a handful of guys that have their full playoff beard by Game 3 of the quarterfinals and they are the exception; I won’t tell you where I fall on that scale. 

Lets just say on a scale of Mason Raymond to Mike Commodore, I rank around Willie Mitchell growth.

The superstition that the beard is like Sampson’s luscious locks and when trimmed drains the blood, sweat and tears from the warrior is highly apparent. When a team is up against the wall, maybe down three games to none, what else is their to do but start over? Bring out the clippers, its time to start fresh.

After the Canucks lost to Chicago in Game 6 in 2011, I was beyond stressed and Gilette Fusion’d two weeks of memories. It turned out, so did Roberto Luongo and we all know how that one ended. This stuff can’t be made up, it’s realer than anyone outside of hockey will ever know. Playoff beards matter, they change lives and the thickest ones usually have champagne in them.

If Mr. NBC Sports wants to see his broadcast grow, it already has:

2010 Final – Approx 30% increase from previous year (Beards in those playoffs)

Judging by how these playoffs have gone, there will be some records set this year too! Those beards were involved in every series, every game, every scrum and every goal. Maybe he should focus his efforts on protecting players with visors and kevlar socks. That’s a debate for another day.

So to rebut what Mark Lazarus has to say, playoff beards are not going anywhere and they will continue to flow freely and get caught in jersey collars, light jackets and post game suits for a long time. Zach Galifinakis set the bar in Hollywood when he played Alan in the Hangover trilogy and his beard was half the reason you watched.

Don’t ruin a good thing Mark, we don’t tell you how to run Deal or No Deal. That’s not even NBC Sports, but you get my point.