Welcome back to WDYTT, the only hockey column on the internet out here scoring wins since opening night.

Speaking of scoring wins since opening night, the Vancouver Canucks have not been doing it. Not once, in fact! As of this writing, the Canucks are an abysmal 0-5-2 on the 2022/23 season, setting a new franchise standard for bad starts and earning a shower of boos and jerseys from their fans.

Things, it could be said, are not good.

As we write these words, we have no idea whether the winless streak stops at seven, or keeps on rolling through Thursday’s matchup with the Seattle Kraken. One more consecutive loss to start the season, and the Canucks will be tied with the 2015/16 Columbus Blue Jackets for the second-worst start in NHL history. Three more losses beyond that, and they’ll have broke a record that has stood for nearly 80 years.

Anyway, enough about that. We’re not quite there yet. But we are far enough in to know that something is deeply wrong with this team, and we’re turning to you to diagnose the issue.

This week, we’re asking:

Let it be known in the comment section.

Last week, we got weird and asked:

You answered below!

Since we are in the “imagine if you will” twilight zone, I would clone Hughes, but playing the natural right side and 50lbs/6” taller. Hey if you are going to clone someone, we may as well enhance. Hughes on the left and Big Hughes on the right. Bottom line is: fix the defense.

I would clone Pettersson. I think another Pettersson (no, not the D-man) would challenge the records that the Sedins established. A winger who could shoot, pass, and think like him would be a lethal combination.

I would clone JT Miller and have them backcheck each other.

Paul Reinhart in his prime.

Bo(ba) HorFett. See what I did there?

We need quality defensemen, and we are probably watching the best D-man in franchise history, so it’s a no-brainer to clone him. I considered Petey, but if you cloned Hughes today and traded him, I think the return is better than for Petey. So, value for this team and around the league, I’ve gotta stick with Quinn.

I would clone Horvat, we need another guy getting those big goals, and he could play as a fourth line center.

There are better answers available, but let’s go with Vasily Podkolzin. We already know that Podkolzin can play either wing, and he’s really starting to blossom into a true power forward. The notion of two different Vasilys, each barrelling down either side of the ice and coming in hard on the forecheck, would be a lot for any opposition to handle. Plus, two best friends for Andrey Kuzmenko is better than one.

If we’re allowed enhancements and upgrades, however, give us a 6’6” Conor Garland. That’s basically another Eric Lindros at that point, and perhaps the greatest Canuck in franchise history.