They’re not laughing with you, #Lumbus, they’re laughing at you

Ok, maybe they aren’t actually laughing at you, but that’s only because they feel sorry for you. Look, Columbus, I’m all for joking around and having a little fun, but this #lumbus thing has got to stop.

Not only is it dumb, demeaning, childish and dumb, but it’s also a subtle, ironic poke at your general ineptitude. Did I mention that it’s dumb?

Seriously, club this one to death with a rock and put yourself out of your misery. It’s for your own good.

I mean, when was the last time you saw the Habs and Bruins jokingly playing around with each other? NEVER, that’s when. Because they hate and despise each other. Fans of these two teams will mock each other mercilessly, every chance they get. But that’s because they perceive each other as threats. To paraphrase Gandhi: first they mock you, then they ignore you, then they hate you, then they mock you again:

But unlike Gandhi, you may still never win. Sigh.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I can guarantee that all the "cool kids" you’re joking around with would drop out faster than the Oilers looking for another lottery pick if you ever got close to winning a playoff round against them. Sure they might indulge you for now, but it’s only out of pity and a lack of respect for you as a franchise. 

That being said, this is by no means the dumbest thing to be associated with the Columbus Blue Jackets:

So grow a backbone, Columbus, and stand up to these false friends that will turn on you at the drop of a puck. They aren’t your pals. They are your competition. Demand some respect, and maybe you’ll actually get some.

Speaking of backbones, it turns out that lumbus is actually a real word meaning either side of the backbone between the hip and the ribcage in a human. Considering that looks unlikely that Columbus would make the playoffs in either conference, and that they’re moving to the other side next year, maybe this whole #Lumbus things is appropriate after all:

I guess the bottom line is this: you can take the "Co" out of Columbus, but you can’t take the "suck" out of BJs.