The Canucks are nothing if not very, very predictable.
There’s 20 minutes left in a game the Canucks are leading 2-0. They’re facing a Minnesota Wild team that’s playing their second game in 24 hours, fighting for their playoff lives after losing in Calgary on Friday. All Vancouver has to do to play spoiler in the final frame is not let their foot off the gas, take the fight to the Wild and not let them have an ounce of momentum.
But expecting these Canucks not to sit on their multi-goal lead is like expecting Jack Black not to sing in a movie. That’s why ‘Steve’ was belting out a jingle about Lava Chicken in the Minecraft movie, and why the Wild were able to claw their way back with a pair of goals in the third and an OT winner from Mats Zuccarello for yet another blown game.
Does this loss matter at at all beyond adding another loser point onto the Canucks’ final total and denying the Flames help in the wild card race? Absolutely not. But at least we had some laughs, killed some time, and watched a Russian defenceman completely crash out in the third period.
Let’s break it all down in the last backup Stanchies of the season.
Best Calling Roll
When Rick Tocchet was reading the lineup card before tonight’s game I hope he read it like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. “Mueller… Mueller…,”
Ty Mueller’s season in Abbotsford has been an unmitigated success. His 38 points – tied for third best on the team – were more than enough to earn him a look with the big club after Max Sasson got hurt on Thursday against Colorado. He only played ten minutes wearing Dan Cloutier’s old #39, but for a mid-April game against a playoff team he didn’t look too out of his depth, save for one holding penalty on Kirill Kaprizov in the third.
Best Duality of Fan
On one hand being a playoff spoiler is always fun. But on the other hand, so is denying the Flames a chance to make the dance. Especially when they’d leave the Canucks as the only Canadian team out of the postseason party.
Best Stick Theft
Our first great stick check of the game wasn’t by any player on the ice, it was by the left side net when it ate Declan Chisholm’s stick after he cut too deep through the crease.
The stick did a great job taking away room for Filip Gustavsson to square up to pucks, affectively giving the Canucks the only kind of legal goalie interference possible.
Best Dragon Attack
It took until the third to last game of the season, but we finally got our hat trick of Pettersson first goals. The Triforce. The Holy Trinity.
Teddy Blueger takes the puck at centre ice and moves it forward to Linus Karlsson. Karlsson has the patience to wait for Dragon to cross the blue line before saucering the pass to the streaking defencemen. Marcus glides in and picks the top right corner on Gustavsson with all the confidence of Nicklas Lidstrom for his first goal as a Canuck.
Marcus has been gunning for that goal from the moment he arrived on the West Coast, and come so close on a number of occasions. And he made it look easy for for a guy whose personal high is four. A personal best he’s now matched after adding in his three goals from Pittsburgh!
Best Game Recognized
Nothing warms my heart more than seeing John Shorthouse get the credit he deserves for his exceptional game calling from out of town fans. The Canucks might not be going to the playoffs, but Shorty absolutely should be getting the call from Sportsnet for as many playoff series as possible.
Best ‘FREE TRAMPOLINE’
I guess “one last ride in the maroons watching a team without their best centre” isn’t exactly a great tagline to move tickets. Especially when the Whitecaps are scoring a helluva lot more goals across the street.
Best Poking the Bear
Conor Garland did not look like a player prepared to punt on the season, even if his team is out of the race.
Garland’s main mission tonight was getting under the skin of Kirill Kaprizov, and it didn’t take him long. One shift of late bumps away from the puck were enough to draw Kaprizov’s full attention and ire before the refs preemptively stepped in to avoid a confrontation.
On the penalty kill, Garland went full Superman to break up the Wild’s set up passes, refusing to let their power play unit have even a sniff at setting up. First Garland knocked the puck away from Kaprizov twice along the boards, forcing the Wild to tag up and try re-entering. Then when Kaprizov tried to get a pass behind him at the blue line, Corolla lept to knock the puck out of midair and back to the Minnesota end.
It’s like torpedoing Minnesota’s season was going to personally fuel all the joy in Conor’s offseason. That’s a level of hater energy we can all aspire to achieve.
Best Desolation of Smaug
The Dragon left his mark on this game in more ways than one. His biggest was this absolute bone rattler of a hit in the second period on Declan Chisholm.
This hit is, by most accounts, a clean one. Pettersson keeps his elbow in, makes contact with Chisholm’s chest and doesn’t drive up into his head. And the refs agreed, based on the lack of a penalty call. But the impact was hard enough for Chisholm’s head to hit the glass with force, leaving the defencemen groggy and needing assistance back to the dressing room.
Chisholm ending up returning in the third period, a pretty shocking outcome in the Concussion Spotters era of the league. If he did in fact walk away without any injuries beyond the wind getting knocked out of him, that’s a massive bullet dodged.
Best Setting the Trap
With Zach Bogosian in the sin bin after tripping Dakota Joshua, the Canucks’ power play decided to pull out a classic play with a new trigger man. Nils Höglander has been scorching hot since his return from injury, and Jake DeBrusk’s finishing has been one of the best stories of the season. It makes sense that both continued those trends when Höglander ripped the puck from the high circle and DeBrusk deflected it past Gustavsson.
For the Calgary fans watching this game, they were already preparing their list of excuses for when they call out of work for playoff games.
Best Faber Sighting
The Wild found their reserve tanks in between the second and third periods, and the Canucks’ unravelling began on schedule. But this first goal was more the result of rotten luck than a real defensive breakdown, and the recipent was a player who shares a last name with a CanucksArmy alumnus.
After Joel Eriksson Ek’s initial centring pass is blocked off by MPetey, Matt Boldy collects the loose puck and tries to whip a backhander at the net. Conor Garland slides in sidewayas to prevent the shot from getting to Kevin Lankinen, but the rebound pops right out for a waiting Brock Faber to bury.
Just wait until the day that Alexander Quadrelli scores an overtime winner against the green and blue.
Worst Loser Behaviour
This game was defined by the actions of Yakov Trenin, who had a full on crash out during this game. It started with his attempt to hit Höglander that Nils manages to dodge, but Trenin trips over his legs. Trenin appeals to the ref for a “missed his check” penalty and unsurprisingly doesn’t get one.
Now mad about the power play he didn’t deserve, Trenin decides to take his frustrations out in a fight with Derek Forbort in the third period. After some grappling ends with Forbort on the ground, Trenin throws one last punch at a guy lying prone on the ice and injures him.
No matter where you’re opinion lands on fighting, this is a total bush league move by a certified loser that was only meant to hurt an opponent. Trenin deserves to have the book thrown at him and then some, especially after throwing a massive tantrum and trying to escape the refs grip once they threw him out of the game.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Best Scoop Updates
From one bad taste to another, we have a food review to do. (Not my best segue, I admit.)
I’ve had a lot of ice cream in my time, but Bar Down Blast by Western Family is a new experience. One that answers the question, “What if vanilla was left in a drum of nuclear waste?”
The Save-On-Foods website describes Bar Down Blast as “vanilla-flavored ice cream swirled with a vibrant blue ripple and packed with caramel-filled mini chocolate pucks. The blue ripple adds a gooey texture and along with the caramel pucks – think Reeces cups without peanut butter – took some digging to find in the tub I bought. Before scooping, it could’ve easily been mistaken for a totally plain vanilla.
The name, chosen by Canucks fans in a contest that beat out Rinkside Ripple, Pacific Puck and Hat Trick Swirl is the one thing that works. Bar Down Blast successfully punches you in the face with a flavour that can only be described as ‘atomic sweet’. 
You might think that flavour is vanilla, given the description. However vanilla is not a listed ingredient anywhere on the carton; only ‘natural flavour’ is listed, implying the use of artificial vanillin instead. For context, Western Family’s French Vanilla ice cream includes vanilla seeds in its ingredients.
This ice cream really needed a more interesting flavour palette. The ripples could’ve been blueberry rather than dyed sugar goo, with pie crust pucks instead of caramel to give it a signature BC blueberry pie motif. 
Instead, like a lot of things associated with the Canucks these days, this felt like a very half-assed attempt. Shoehorning team branding onto an objectively low-effort ice cream that’s nowhere near as good as stuff you can get from local creameries, or even a standard tub of No Name brand, was certainly a choice. If you want a Vancouver themed ice cream, I’d highly recommend following this list of the city’s best ice cream shops, curated by friend of the Stanchies Justin McElory, instead of paying $7.79 for a litre of BDB.
All this made me want to do is get a Ninja Creami and create a way better Canucks-themed dessert. Add that to my summer content list. The rest of that Bar Down Blast will likely still be in my fridge by that point too.
Best Just Let This Season End Already
Minnesota tying this game was a prop bet that no plugged in sportsbook would let you take. It was as obvious an outcome as the sun setting in the west, or me not having more than one analogy.
From the Faber goal on, the Wild held the Canucks to just four shots in the third period, including an 8-0 shot run in the first ten minutes. All Minnesota needed was a defensive mistake to capitilize on, and Marcus Pettersson was the unlucky target.
After MPetey’s clearing attempt is intercepted by Justin Brazeau, he drops the puck back to Ryan Hartman along the boards. As the Canucks scramble, Marcus Foligno sneaks to the top of the crease right as Hartman gets the puck through traffic. Foligno manages to get his stick on the bouncing puck and deflect it under Lankinen’s arm.
The Wild celebrate like a team who’s season is on the line. The Canucks fans in the building wish the arena bars hadn’t already done last call. You’d think with all of their overtime games, Rogers Arena would recognize the missed revenue and keep them open longer.
Best Only Two Games Left
The Flames and their fans got the Tinny Tim treatment tonight. “You’ve raised our hopes and dashed them quite expertly! Bravo!”
The first half of overtime featured some terrific holding of the puck from the Canucks in the Minnesota zone and exactly zero shots on Gustavsson. Then Kaprizov, Faber and Mats Zuccarello swarm Höglander, Kiefer Sherwood and Filip Hronek for an extended shift.
Three sets of tired legs on the ice and one missed assignment switch later, Zuccarello finds himself on a breakaway. Mats dekes Lankinen to his left, then stuffs the puck around his right pad to complete the comeback all but lock in a trip to the playoffs.
Best Groundhog’s Game
Against my better judgement I’ve watched 79 Canucks games this season – just one missed for Eras Tour related reasons – and yet it feels like I’ve seen this exact chart a million times.
The pace of play always tipping towards the opponent has to be buried with this season in the past. The Canucks that won the Pacific Division in 2024 were able to consistently keep opponents on their heels across a 60 minute game with ease. The Canucks need to find more defensemen who can move the puck, more consistency from their forwards and a mentality that doesn’t fall apart the second their opponents score a third period goal.
Does any team’s opening night foreshadow their entire season like the Canucks always does?
Best Jersey Botch
Commemorating one of the worst coaching tenures in franchise history with a double zero jersey is either the result of a crazy bet or an incredibly sick burn of the 2013-14 season. I’m still not over Torts benching Luongo for the Heritage Classic.
Best Flowers
Saturday night was supposed to be Marc-Andre Fleury’s last NHL start, but the Wild’s loss in Calgary wrecked those plans and forced Gustavsson into back-to-back starts. And it’s a darn shame, because Fleury deserved one final game on Hockey Night in Canada as one of the last great Canadian goalies of his era.
Fleury’s first visit to Vancouver came with the ‘Before Crosby’ Penguins in 2003. You probably know it as The Chris Levesque Game, or that time Markus Naslund went absolute sicko mode on a rookie Fleury and his Pittsburgh teammates.
Marc-Andre has no direct connection to the Canucks, beyond Jim Rutherford and Patrik Allvin being at the helm when the Pens chose to leave Fleury unprotected for the Vegas expansion draft in 2017. But just like a lot of road rinks before them, Rogers Arena made sure to give Fleury a tribute video and a standing ovation, because Canucks fans know a great goalie when they see one.
Fleury won’t just be remembered in NHL circles as the first goalie to be the top selection at an NHL draft, for helping save a Penguins franchise from relocating to Hamilton and winning three Stanley Cups, or for being the backstop of a Vegas expansion team that became one of the greatest Cinderella stories in the history of pro sports. He won’t just be remembered for his last second save on Nik Lidstrom in Game 7 of the ’09 Cup Final, or the 574 wins that put him second place all time in league history.
The lasting legacy of the player teammates affectionately call Flower will be just how much he enjoyed his time playing. Perhaps no NHL player has better understood how to have fun playing hockey at the highest level than Marc-Andre Fleury.
Sports are supposed to be fun, no matter how competitive they get. And that lesson is often the easiest to forget when there’s eight figure salaries and world famous trophies on the line. Fleury never let that part of his game go and used it to become the great goalie he was. Not wanting to let down his superstar teammates in the playoffs is a pressure that could take down even the most mentally strong goalies, but Fleury found his release through masterful pranks, jokes and a smile that you could see shining right through the bars of his mask.
After being unceremoniously dumped by the Golden Knights to the Blackhawks in 2021, there was a real concern that Fleury would rather retire than play behind a Chicago team in the midst of a tanking effort. But Fleury loved the game too much to say goodbye prematurely, and now he’ll get to be along for one final postseason ride as a 40 year-old backup.
The Canucks could learn a lot from Marc-Andre this offseason. Across the last two years we’ve seen the Canucks learn, then promptly unlearn, how to have fun on the ice. That joy is what carried them and the fans to an 109 point season, a first round win over the Predators and a Game 7 against Connor McDavid and the Oilers. When they forgot how to enjoy the game for what it is and play a style indicitive of that spark, 2024-25 was the end result.
These Canucks can, and will, learn how to recapture that love of the game. And Canucks fans like you, reading these Stanchies with their morning coffee in an April of empty promises, will be the ones savouring every moment of it in 2025-26.
All it takes is one turn of the corner.
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