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Slow clap for the Flames Organization

Wanye
By Wanye
14 years ago
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Just when this item seems to be getting a little old, more and more information is coming to light about the fateful decision to jump the Calgary Flames and their families to the front of the H1N1 vaccination line up. During a time when thousands of hard-working non-hockey-playing Albertans are waiting in line ups so long that many are expiring of natural causes before they reach the front of the line, the Flames flexed their collective clout and had a special vaccination clinic set up for the private use of the Team and their families.
This story broke earlier in the week when it was brought to our collective attention that the Calgary Flames had jedi mind tricked someone senior at Alberta Health Services into setting up a private clinic to administer flu vaccines to the Flames players, staff and families. This inspired many levels of rage amongst a good many people, who believed that Pro Athletes should be left to die at the hands of H1N1 infected zombie hordes that will be terrorizing major Canadian cities within days.
Once this initial story had made the rounds like a Californian Wildfire, more news comes today that the Flames have defended themselves publicly with one arm and with the other quietly went about having their AHL farm team skipped to the front of the line too.
“Tuesday evening, with the great Flames Flu Scandal still raging, members of the Calgary Flames farm club were quietly inoculated against H1N1 by their team physician.
This, despite the fact that British Columbia has been strictly rationing its flu vaccine from the outset. According to the B.C. health department, only pregnant women, children under five, those with serious chronic health conditions, and caregivers of infants under six months, are currently entitled to receive the vaccine.
Perry Kendall, B.C.’s chief health officer, says doctors in private practice can requisition vaccine for their patients, but only on the understanding that it be reserved for those high-risk cases. Nonetheless, the Heat’s team doctor officially diagnosed most of the players as "high-risk" and vaccinated them accordingly.”

Oh man, is this ever rich.

If we actually believed that the swine flu was a threat to 99% of the population we might be more concerned about this. But instead we can totally see how this was a good idea for the medical staffers involved and the heretofore community oriented Calgary Flames.
Not only do NHL hockey players have a greater need to ward off disease than say – oh a 94 year old woman with chronic bronchitis – we can also see how protecting the Calgary Flames of tomorrow should be jobs number 1 and 2 respectively. If this wasn’t insulting enough to the father of four, wearing his Flames hat a little less proudly as he waits in a 6 hour line to have his toddlers immunized today, he can rest easy knowing that the families of both the NHL and AHL teams have been vaccinated as well.

Although

Well, who would want to live with the knowledge that Mrs. Robyn Regehr contracted the H1N1 virus whilst shopping for purses at Holt Renfrew? Would you want that hanging over your head? Would ya? Huh? What if Cory Sarich’s aunt’s cousin’s babysitter were to get sick too? How would that impact the penalty killing unit? Where do you want to draw the line for who to save and who to let go?
Never mind that most of the hockey wives we have met rarely, if ever, leave the confines of their rented Canadian apartment to do anything that interacts with the swarms of “non players and player families” that infest every inch of the city that they have to live in 6 months of the year. These disease ridden germ bags will totally cough on you as you wait in line for your daily Starbucks. Ew!
Look at this picture of people waiting in line for flu shots today:
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Babies. Babies, their parents and more babies. How can a baby be expected to post a .600 record on the road? Will a 3 year old score you 20 goals and suck up 15 quality minutes of ice time on any given night? Not on your life brother. No, given the choice between saving the Flames and saving non-hockey playing children and the elderly, what is being called "the biggest black eye in franchise history" has been a great idea.

The other thing that is sad about this business

In addition to the firestorm outlined above, comes news that the Health Authoritados have found the person in charge of this fateful decision and have promptly fired his ass. Think that the players are calling that guy to send their sincere apologies? Yeah, we can totally see the Flames – or even better their families- banding together to assist the long serving civil servant who made the fateful decision to help his local hockey squadron. This poor bastard has just seen a 20 year career in Medical Administration go right out the window to give preferential treatment to a group of people that probably won’t even give it a second thought.
Man, do we ever hate the Flames.

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