Remember When Halloween Costumes Were Actually Scary?

 

Well, although the Canucks’ uniforms have certainly improved since then, I don’t think I can say the same for Halloween costumes in general.

When did every womens’ costume get the "sexy" adjective appended to it anyway? Sheesh.

I’ll give the Canucks credit for one more thing, though. Not only does their ice cleaning crew at least have a few males on it, they don’t make the female members of the ice crew wear the revealing outfits that most of the other teams do. I found the Avalanche ice crew outfits to be especially distasteful when I watched a pre-season game in Denver back in September.

But anyway, enough with the rant. Let’s get on with this Halloween grab bag of graphic comments…

Sticking with the theme, you know what’s really scary? The NY Rangers are shooting 3.4% at 5-on-5. 3.4%!

How is that even possible?

At the other end of the scale, you have three teams sitting at 10% or more, including the Toronto Maple Leafs, who have pretty much the least scary sniper since Andrea in the Walking Dead:

Yes, Kessel is somehow shooting at 20.6% 5-on-5, which is pretty high even for his lofty shooting percentages over the last couple of years. 

I’m not sure how he and the rest of his teammates are doing it, but I do know that neither the Leafs nor the Rangers are doing anything that is in any way sustainable:

Heck, if you’re in some kind of fantasy league, it’s probably a good time to sell high on any Leafs on your roster and maybe try and pick up some Rangers on the cheap.

Or don’t. Up to you. But you ignore the trends toward regression at your own peril.

Now, I’m not saying you should give up Kessel. He’s on fire lately, and even when he cools down he’ll still be one of the best pure scorers in the league. This is even more noticeable right now because he’s not carrying Tyler Bozak around on his back like he usually has to.

Speaking of Bozak, this reminds me that sometimes in sports, people do really dumb things. It’s not always black and white, but maybe black and red is more fitting description for how dumb they can be:

Not sure what Bozak is up to tonight, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to stay off Instagram this time around.

He’ll also be staying off the ice for another week or so, recovering from an injury, which is actually not good news for Canucks fans looking foward to the matchup on Saturday night:

 

Maybe he’ll make a miraculous recovery!

You know what else would be a miracle? Joe Thornton scoring three or four goals. But if he does, it would be rather appropriate to happen on Halloween: