NHL Waters Down It’s High Profile Product

Sure, I get that the NHL wants to milk the golden cash cow…no, wait.

That can’t be right, because as we learned during the lockout, it’s the players that are cattle. So maybe the the more appropriate phrase might be that they want to fleece the golden sheep? Whatever. I won’t even make the obvious joke about killing the golden goose. The point is they can hold as many of these games as they want, but why hold one of them in Vancouver?

Seriously. I mean, it’s one thing to figuratively water down the NHL’s annual outdoor showcase by staging six of them next year, but holding one of them in Vancouver in March will literally water down the product.

Look, I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but IT’S GOING TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE:

 

You wouldn’t plan a Stanley Cup parade in March, right? Well you shouldn’t play an outdoor game anywhere near Stanley Park in March either. Heck, it’s Vancouver, so you probably shouldn’t do either of those things no matter what time of year it is. You’re bound to get soaked either way by the bitter tears of disappointment streaming from your eyes, or the rain falling from the sky.

Anyway, it’s not like they couldn’t come up with a better option. I mean, the Vancouver game will be against the Ottawa Senators. You know what they have in Ottawa? A canal that freezes over and people skate on it. How much more ideal of a location is that?

What better place to hold something called the Heritage Classic?

Speaking of which, the NHL keeps using that word. I don’t it means what they think it does:

While we’re at it, you know where else they should hold an outdoor game before they have to resort to Vancouver? Quebec City. During the Winter Carnival. Maybe they could let the Coyotes play the Avalanche. Fitting, don’t you think?

Sure, that might be a cheap gimmick, but no more so than staging six of these things in a year. But you know what won’t be cheap? Tickets to any one of them:

But sure, put on six of these things. Fill your boots. Just make sure they’re rubber.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say a thing or two about the developments in Edmonton this week.

The Oilers finally fired GM Steve Tambellini and replaced him with Craig MacTavish and Scott Howson. But the most interesting part this whole thing was Kevin Lowe’s Mitt Romney impersonation. During the press conference announcing the changes in the Oilers’ front office, Lowe claimed that the Oilers have two types of fans: those that pay to attend games, and the rest of the moochers out there that leeching off society (I may be paraphrasing here).

I’m not sure about the fans in Edmonton, but the Oilers definitely have only one type of owner:

Actually, now that I think about it, Lowe may be right after all. The Oilers do have two types of fans. Those that choose to support the team, and those that are forced to: