Highlights of #replacethekb Contest

                                                   

                         (I wanted to end this with Nicolas Cage. But it’s from Face/Off. So it works.)

After 3 long grueling weeks in which the #replacethekb contestants were forced to watch all the Minnesota Wild games from 2003, had to listen to Mark Messier do his lesser known poetry from back when he was out of his mind from having drunk from an unclean Stanley Cup (“A bat? A rat? Nay, a mat, it’s flat. I sat. On a cat. Why am I so fat?”), and finally, having to wash all seventeen of Jason Botchford’s Ferraris with toothbrushes (There were actually sixteen contestants, but one of us made the mistake of not cleaning the tires on Botch’s 14^th Ferrari. He hasn’t been seen since), we have come to the finish line.

Now I know there was a lot of Canuck content being thrown the public’s way these last three weeks, and I bet not everyone had a chance to read all the articles that were put out by the fine people of the #replacethekb contest.  So I thought that it would be nice to pick one article from each contestant that I thought was really good, one that showcased the talents of the writer in question, and list them here for you guys. This way, if you didn’t get a chance to read all of the articles, maybe you can find an article that you missed out on so you can see what we at the #replacethekb contest are all about.

This is a great article that showcases the different viewpoints of local broadcasts. In this case Clay goes over key points in a Hawks-Canucks game and relays what the Chicago feed was saying vs. what the Sportsnet feed was saying. It’s really fun to get an outside perspective from another market on the Canucks, as well as making fun of the other market for being so stupid for not realizing how amazingly awesome Keith Ballard is. Come on Ed Olczyk, wake up.

Sometimes in this market we sharpen our knives a little too much when it comes to Roberto Luongo. And with a lot of people seemingly split on the subject of Luongo, it’s nice to have a reminder of why we fell in love with Roberto when he first got here. Although this article does not cover Roberto Luongo’s amazing acting skills as one of the reasons we love him, it does cover seven other great reasons why Luongo is the best goaltender the Canucks have ever had.

I had no idea who John was before this competition (But to be fair I just found out the Canucks are allowed one backup goalie to sit on the bench during games. Cory Smith or something like that I think.), but I am loving what I read from John during this contest. This article grabbed me because it tackled a popular sports cliché (About players policing themselves) and dives into why this ideology will never happen again in the NHL. You might not agree with it, but it opens up a great debate, which is the sign of a well written article. Plus I just realized he used Police Academy as his picture for the article. Well played sir.

If you didn’t hear about Mark Spector’s open letter to the fans of Vancouver, well, then you’re going to want to read this article. Basically a paid journalist, Mark Spector, rips on all of Vancouver, and got paid to do so. Omar does what all of Vancouver wanted to do the minute they read Spector’s letter and responds on our behalf.  Trying to beat an idiot at his own game is a hard task, but Omar manages to rip on Spector quite nicely. No word yet on whether Spector will be arriving in Vancouver for Omar’s “Meet and Beat” invitation that was extended last week.

I had no idea what to make of Steve when I first saw his articles. He pumped those bad boys out left and right, and I won’t lie, it was a bit overwhelming. I had no idea where he was coming from. But then I kept reading his articles, and I found myself cracking up more and more. This article in particular made me laugh, a lot. If you didn’t read any of Steve’s articles, please read this one. He is pretty much spot on about some fan stereotypes. He even nails me down as I am totally “Fantasy Hockey Guy”, fist pumping a Jeff Skinner goal in a 5-1 loss. Steve is one of the funniest guys in this contest.

My good friend Thom always cracks me up. He is about the most level headed writer I know around these parts. He also tends to hit up the devil’s advocate role all the time. You love hot chocolate with whipped cream? Thom will have an argument against it. You think it’s nicer to be too cold vs. too hot, well, Thom will argue otherwise. You think Mark Messier is the worst captain ever? Thom will agree with you, but he will sneak in one line about how Mark had some good values. That is the way of Thom, always looking at all sides of an argument. So it didn’t surprise me to see Thom defending the Bruins to an extent in this article in which he talks about how the Bruins are good for hockey and that maybe their bad reputation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Jordan is a funny guy. And a massive Canucks fan. Which means I would love to get a beer with him one day because I have the feeling we’d get along pretty well. And not only is Jordan a good writer, he also produces some great videos. And being a fan of videos myself, I was drawn to this video. It’s basically a video showing how hockey infects Bowman’s life, something us hardcore fans can all relate to. Watch this video if for nothing else but for the Pictionary part. Once he made a Murzyn pylon joke, I knew he was gold.

Yes, this is me! This was my favorite article just because it’s kind of off the wall, which is my style. I won’t pump my own tires anymore, though, since I find that awkward and weird. This article is about what we can learn from a Roberto Luongo facial expression.

Cam cracks me up all the time because he is so so stat driven. I enjoy his posts because most of the time I learn something new every time, even if it makes my head hurt trying to understand his latest statistic. I also enjoy Cam tweeting every other week “Yeah, I saw that coming.” He is the Nostradamus of the competition with his damned stats! So while I might not always like what his stats have to say, it does make for some great arguments and debates. This article was interesting because it showed the different trends between Rome’s hot streak and Jeff Cowan’s hot streak. Now every time I go “Rome is the new Cowan!” part of me knows that he is not. Thanks a lot Cam.

I didn’t know much about Adam before this contest either, but he is a solid writer who I have enjoyed reading during this contest. In this article he takes on the Kevin Bieksa conundrum. That being which Kevin are we going to see on any given night? Good Kevin or Bad Kevin? We never seem to know what we’re going to get. It is a well put together article that goes over the career of Bieksa that shows the trends of inconsistency that followed Kevin throughout it.

Jeff Angus, the man with the connections. If it isn’t Burrows giving him a shout out, it’s Cory Schneider banging on my door, threatening to kill me if I ever say a bad word about Jeff ever again. But Jeff isn’t all connections, as he is also a student of the game. I like hockey writers that can make links to the past, and talk about the long and rich history of the NHL, because at the very least, it makes me feel like knowing small useless information about the NHL wasn’t a complete waste of my time. (“Hey look! He referenced Lonny Bohonos! I know that guy! Yay!”) In this article, Jeff goes over the top ten Pavel Bure moments and gives a great review of why Vancouver fell in love with Pavel Bure, and why we might never see another one like him again.

Aside from the fact I always think of Josh as “Jason Statham” the actor, and am therefore afraid that he is some bad ass that could kick my butt, he is also a great writer. In this article, he takes on the infamous Ryan Miller vs. Milan Lucic debacle, and basically reads my mind by realizing that protecting the goalies, once taken too far in 1999 with the toe in the crease rule, has now swung in the complete opposite direction as goalies seem to have less protection than ever. Statham also uses the NHL rule book in this article and didn’t burst into flames, so more power to him.

Josh Hall is one of the more in your face writers of the competition. Although I find myself disagreeing vehemently with many of his articles, he is a passionate Canucks fan, and his articles do incite a lot of debate. Though I didn’t pick one of his articles I didn’t agree with here (Otherwise I would have felt compelled to do a counter argument), I do choose an article he did that showcases a great look back at the Canucks rivalry’s and also has a great commentary about the rise and fall of NHL rivalry’s throughout the history of the NHL.

The article that caught my eye from Shane was about the tale of two cities, one of Vancouver, and one of Surrey. It is an interesting read into the diversity Canuck fans have, and also showcases how passionately the Punjabi community is embracing the Canucks. You can’t help but think how amazing it would be for the Punjabi community to get their own homegrown star to be in the NHL one day (Sorry Prab Rai. This will not be you.) , and it is really awesome to see how hockey can cross over any culture to unite as all as angry, bitter, sad Vancouver Canuck fans.  Wait, I mean passionate. Passionate fans.

Katie, the contestant who apparently watches me in my mom’s basement (Restraining order pending), did a great job during this competition. Did I choose the video where she professed her hidden love for me on film? No, no, I wouldn’t do that. The video speaks for itself. I will say though, Katie, please stop sending me chocolates at work. People are starting to talk, plus I’d prefer beer. No, I chose an article where Katie uses a style I often employ, that of humor and photoshop, and she does it quite well. Anytime someone references Kelly being a great gal, I’m pretty much sold from that point on. In this article Katie goes over Canucks postcards from their road trip offering up many laughs along the way.

 

An omission to the article the first time around due to conflicting ideas on how many bloggers were in this contest, I have since corrected myself and added my favorite Chris Richards article. In this article, Chris covers How I Met Your Mothers continuing obsession with the Canucks. Why do I like this article? Because I have pride as a Canucks fan. And anytime the Canucks get a mention anywhere outside of the usual sports relm, I giggle like a little school girl. Chris covers the entire history of HIMYM’s obsession with all things Canucks, to which, as mentioned earlier, I giggled like a little school girl the entire way through due to the random fact that I love the Canucks getting mainstream mentions. And since I feel bad for leaving Chris off the intial list, I will now state a lie and make it fact: Chris Richards travels to Africa on the weekends to bathe tired Elephants. Bravo sir, bravo.

Well, there you have it. Some highlights from the #replacethekb contest. I have no idea who is going to win this thing, or where all of us will end up years from now, but I just want to say it was a fun competition, and I enjoyed working with and against all of the contestants during this time. I apologize for any brakes that I may have cut, or bomb threats I may have sent. Sometimes I get caught up in the competitive aspect of it all. Don’t judge me. DON’T YOU DO IT!

Cheers!