Cheers and Jeers – August 3rd

It’s Friday. So we close out the "Week That Was" with our latest volume of… "Cheers and Jeers!"

This week, I get tired and bored of the Doan-a-thon and Cory Schneider newest impressions, but I would walk in a parade with Manny and a couple of awesome Oilers fans any day of the week.

JEERS to Cory Schneider for his uninspired impressions on CanucksTV. In the past I have heaped praised on Schneider for his wonderful takes on his teammates and coaches. However, his impressions this week for a CanucksTV feature were, just, NOT good. The Christopher Walken was dull, and his Harry Caray was really trying to be Will Ferrell doing Harry Carey and it didn’t hit the mark. C’mon Cory – you’re better than this! If you want to see a good impression of someone doing Will Ferrell doing Harry Caray, watch Ryan Dempster do it, cuz it’s funny.

CHEERS to the Vancouver Canucks and Manny Malhotra for their above-and-beyond support of You Can Play. Malhotra and FIN the Mascot will be marching in the Vancouver Pride Parade, the largest parade in Western Canada, along with the Vancouver Cutting Edges, the only gay hockey club in Western Canada. The Canucks’ support of inclusion, equality and acceptance warms my heart and makes me an utterly proud Canucks fan.

JEERS to Shane Doan for his continued free agency charade. More specifically, jeers to him for even considering a stay in Phoenix. He’s a 35-year-old veteran who hasn’t won a thing at the NHL level. The main reason why he hasn’t won anything in the league is because his teams have been total shite. Further, the team he’s showing loyalty too has no owner and no money. So why even bother with them?

Shane, it’s time for you to move on and go to a team that actually gives you a chance to win. And if you’re smart, you won’t take a $7.5m salary, because that might handcuff your new team from being as good as it possibly can be. Having said that, Doan appears to have strong interest in joining the Canucks, even going to dinner with Canucks brass here in Vancouver. So it looks like Doan is getting ready to move from Phoenix. As a worldy scholar once said, "Drop that zero and get with a hero."

CHEERS to Alexandre Mallet for signing his first professional contract, with the Vancouver Canucks. Mallet was selected in the second round, 57th overall, in this year’s NHL Entry Draft. Drafted as an overage junior player, Mallet could be gunning for a spot with the Canucks AHL affiliate in Chicago. The Wolves have lost a large number of players this off-season to free agency, so they are in desperate need of filling out their roster. Mallet, a big kid with a penchant for playing rough, could slot right in to a roster spot with the Wolves and play some big minutes in the AHL this year.

JEERS to any Canucks fans who are getting worked up or upset over the latest Ryan Kesler news. Kesler’s agent, Kurt Overhardt, stated pretty emphatically that Kesler is not ahead of schedule, but is tracking as he was originally expected. He isn’t expected to return until December, as was first announced, and Kesler isn’t going to rush back until he’s fully recovered.

Some fans are crying bloody murder over this news, wrongly assuming that Kesler is crippled for life or other such nonsense. Folks, listen up. Kesler is NO GOOD this season if he doesn’t fully heal. Besides that, I am one who is fully convinced that the NHL season won’t start on time anyway. So how many games is Kesler really going to miss? Maybe 10? 5? If the NHL season doesn’t start until US Thanksgiving, which I have heard as a plausible theory several times, Ryan Kesler may only miss a couple of games. So calm down, doomsdayers. Ryan Kesler is gonna be OKAY.

CHEERS to all of you who have donated to my fundraising page for Road Hockey to Conquer Cancer. As I write this, I am less than $170 away from my original fundraising goal, with over 2 months to go before the big event. A BIG Cheers to @ShanyeGretz who has done yeoman’s work in spreading the word about my campaign, and @Smyth94ever, who has pledged to donate $1 for every Edmonton Eskimos point scored. That’s just awesome. And yes folks – THEY’RE BOTH OILERS FANS. So you see? Canucks fans and Oilers fans CAN work togther for a greater good.