The #Canucks Week in Tweets

Oh, Garry Valk. If you’re not accusing Luongo of faking an injury to win the shootout, you’re somehow implying that the Canucks team is composed entirely of women who are perpetually worried about breaking their nails. I guess Garry Valk avoided getting hit when he played, because he didn’t want to smear the glass with fake tanner.

More Tweets after the jump!

Mason Raymond is good, but he is not that good. I picked this tweet out because it seems every single trade proposal includes Raymond and also includes an insane overvaluing of him. If you think we’re getting Ryan Suter for Mason Raymond, you are stupider than I think. And your Twitter handle is pootpoot, so…you connect the dots.

Congratulations Renée, for being our “You’re Doing It Wrong” tweet of the week! Heads up, Renée: you’re doing it wrong.

To borrow a line from one Cory Schneider, even if you’re not a Catholic, do you yell “CATHOLICISM SUCKS!” at the Pope? No, no you do not. Show some respect for your god, my friend. And Godson. He’s pretty good for his ice-time, y’know?

You are exactly the type of Canucks fan I hate. Show up when it’s convenient for you, cheer when it’s social, and use your own ignorance as a joke. Though to be fair, we’re all still unsure of who David Booth is. Is he on the Canucks?

I have no idea what a “scooter kid” is, but I 100% agree I hate them more than the Canucks. Hayden, you and I are basically twins.

Stuart, I admire that you think the Canucks/Bruins “rivalry” is the best in the NHL(considering this isn’t even a rivalry and it’s only been 6 months long), but we’re talking years and years and years of history with Leafs/Habs. Oh, and the Bruins might not even put us in their top 5 most hated teams. Take off the blue and green glasses and figure it out, son. The best part is you laughed at someone for insinuating the Leafs/ Habs is the best rivalry in hockey, because now we’re all laughing at you.

Katie, why did you have to remind me? Was I the only person in Vancouver who felt ridiculously awkward ordering “Vancouver Cream” donuts at Tim Horton’s last year? I could barely get the words out of my mouth before I choked on them. I hate the Bruins as much as the next guy, but I sure as hell wasn’t about to allow that to ruin my donut game.

The Canucks won’t sign Avery, but it’s not a speed problem. If an NHL team had Max Lapierre AND Sean Avery on it, the world would explode.

THE CANUCKS DON’T TAKE DIRECT ADVICE FROM BLOGGERS!?!?! DRANCE YOU LIED TO ME!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I QUIT! I QUIT I QUIT I QUIT!