Canucks Army GDT #81 – Canucks @ Oilers

What has transpired during the 2013-14 season with the Vancouver Canucks can be considered nothing less than an abomination. Basically everything that could go wrong, seemingly did; *everyone* went down with an injury, an integral player asked out with a trade, the GM got fired, and the coach will likely be handed his walking papers, as well. Based on what we’ve come to expect from this franchise over the past few years, it sure feels like this has to be rock bottom. 

But let me assure you, that it’s not. You don’t make the type of face Dallas Eakins is making in the picture above unless you’ve seen some things, man. You never want to go full Edmonton Oilers, and now that Eakins – once considered a hot coaching prospect being courted by numerous teams – has, there’s no turning back.

It’s vital to keep some semblance of perspective during rough times like these, and remember that it can absolutely always get worse. We’ll get a first-hand glimpse at that tonight, in the penultimate day of the schedule, when the Vancouver Canucks visit Rexall to take on an Edmonton Oilers squad that’ll surely be ready to play, what with this being their version of the Super Bowl and all. 

Puck Drop: 7:00 PM PST

TV: CBC

In case you had any questions about what the intentions would be for the Canucks tonight, rest assured, their eyes are still in fact on the prize. And so with that, Mike Zalewski – whom the Canucks signed about a month ago after he finished his season in RPI – will make his NHL debut. 

Apparently this is stemming from the fact that he “practiced really hard” which is amazingly transparent and hilarious at the same time. There is no real desire to actually win tonight, so why not given Ol’ Zalewski a shot? He practiced hard!

Unfortunately Daily Faceoff hasn’t adjusted for this news yet, but it appears that he’ll wind up slotting in for Top Sixtito, which makes sense since he’s their best player and they’ll likely want him to rest up for a long playoff run is pretty insignificant, other than signalling that the Canucks would probably like to get in and out of this game without stirring up another massive kerfuffle. 

Kevin Bieksa will sit out, making way for Jason Garrison to return to the lineup. This is kind of a bizarre decision, considering what we know about the injuries Garrison has accumulated this season. I just figured he was being shut down for the season after being scratched against the Avs, but that’s obviously not the case. Meanwhile Bieksa himself has been playing on a bum wheel for a while now, but will nonetheless be representing Canada in the World Championships instead of, you know, getting healthy for next season. I’m sure that the Canucks are pleased with that.

Chris Higgins is sick, so Jordan Schroeder draws into the lineup. Meanwhile, Jacob Markstrom starts again for the second straight time. God bless him.

This’ll be Ryan Smyth’s swan song, so add that to the list of reasons to believe that the Canucks could be headed for an important loss tonight. I’m sure that the Oilers will want to win one for the Former New York Islanders Great. 

Enjoy the game tonight, you guys. Out of respect for tonight’s hosts, make sure to have one last good cry in tribute of Smitty, before throwing your jersey on the ground to honour the 2013-14 Edmonton Oilers.