Following Sharks’ elimination at the hands of the St. Louis Blues in the 2019 Western Conference Finals, Erik Karlsson took to Twitter in order to pen an ambiguous ode to San Jose.
Thank you to the entire @SanJoseSharks organization, fans, and especially teammates. It was a great run that ended too early. But lots of great memories where created. The entire Bay Area has been nothing but classy and respectful to me and my family. Thank you.
— Erik Karlsson (@ErikKarlsson65) May 24, 2019
Karlsson’s conciliatory tone and reference to his time in San Jose having been “a great run” – and a past-tense great run at that – led many to interpret this as a goodbye letter to the Sharks’ organization and fanbase. Karlsson becomes an unrestricted free agent as of July 1, 2019, and his tweet is just one item on a compelling list of evidence that he will ultimately test the market and sign somewhere other than the Californian coast. The speculation surrounding the tweet has been intense, with each and every sentence fragment broken down to its basest components in a desperate attempt to parse the secrets of Karlsson’s intentions. In other words, it hasn’t been a fun week to be a Sharks fan on Twitter.
The Vancouver Canucks fanbase, on the other hand, has been rather fortunate in the age of social media. Thus far, the most notable #Canucks controversies have been mild affairs like Jake Virtanen possibly making fun of a severely-concussed opponent or the team’s owner being awkwardly boastful. The franchise’s various stints as a contender – and most of the most important moments in team history – came long before Twitter became a ubiquitous aspect of society, and we are thus free of embarrassing and confounding tweets from the Canucks’ 50-year existence.
Until now! Through the magic of a free online fake tweet generator, we’ve put together a look at some of the most buzzworthy happenings from the history of the Vancouver Canucks pre-Twitter – retold in the language of 280 characters or less.
It legally bears mentioning that all the following tweets are fictitious and not meant to reflect the actual opinions of the individuals listed – though this author thinks that should be pretty obvious right from the get-go.
Screwed From Jump Street
Don’t Forget To Wave A Towel
Tom Larscheid Mashes The Keyboard In His Exuberance
Jim Robson Cashes In On #sponsored ‘Tent
Pat Quinn Slides Into The Great One’s DMs Late At Night
The Axis Of Evil Forms
Todd Bertuzzi Eats His Words
The Ruutu Roll
Alex Burrows, Do We Really Need Him?
The Origin Of Captain Cody
This author is aware that Twitter was already invented by June of 2008, but it wouldn’t become publicly available until later that year, so this joke-tweet is still valid. Put down your pedantic pitchforks.
While we’re on the subject of the comment section, this (hopefully) humourous article is meant to be the first in a series of similar gag-reels. With that in mind, feel free to submit your own “Hilarious Tweets From Pre-Twitter Canucks History” in the comments – and we’ll feature the best ones in the next edition.
Or don’t. Who are we to tell you what to do?