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Photo Credit: Canucks / Twitter

Notable Moments In Canucks History (If Twitter Had Existed Back Then)

Following Sharks’ elimination at the hands of the St. Louis Blues in the 2019 Western Conference Finals, Erik Karlsson took to Twitter in order to pen an ambiguous ode to San Jose.

Karlsson’s conciliatory tone and reference to his time in San Jose having been “a great run” – and a past-tense great run at that – led many to interpret this as a goodbye letter to the Sharks’ organization and fanbase. Karlsson becomes an unrestricted free agent as of July 1, 2019, and his tweet is just one item on a compelling list of evidence that he will ultimately test the market and sign somewhere other than the Californian coast. The speculation surrounding the tweet has been intense, with each and every sentence fragment broken down to its basest components in a desperate attempt to parse the secrets of Karlsson’s intentions. In other words, it hasn’t been a fun week to be a Sharks fan on Twitter.

The Vancouver Canucks fanbase, on the other hand, has been rather fortunate in the age of social media. Thus far, the most notable #Canucks controversies have been mild affairs like Jake Virtanen possibly making fun of a severely-concussed opponent or the team’s owner being awkwardly boastful. The franchise’s various stints as a contender – and most of the most important moments in team history – came long before Twitter became a ubiquitous aspect of society, and we are thus free of embarrassing and confounding tweets from the Canucks’ 50-year existence.

Until now! Through the magic of a free online fake tweet generator, we’ve put together a look at some of the most buzzworthy happenings from the history of the Vancouver Canucks pre-Twitter – retold in the language of 280 characters or less.

It legally bears mentioning that all the following tweets are fictitious and not meant to reflect the actual opinions of the individuals listed – though this author thinks that should be pretty obvious right from the get-go.

 

Screwed From Jump Street

 

Don’t Forget To Wave A Towel

 

Tom Larscheid Mashes The Keyboard In His Exuberance

 

Jim Robson Cashes In On #sponsored ‘Tent

 

Pat Quinn Slides Into The Great One’s DMs Late At Night

 

The Axis Of Evil Forms

 

Todd Bertuzzi Eats His Words

 

The Ruutu Roll

 

Alex Burrows, Do We Really Need Him?

 

The Origin Of Captain Cody

*Note:

This author is aware that Twitter was already invented by June of 2008, but it wouldn’t become publicly available until later that year, so this joke-tweet is still valid. Put down your pedantic pitchforks.

While we’re on the subject of the comment section, this (hopefully) humourous article is meant to be the first in a series of similar gag-reels. With that in mind, feel free to submit your own “Hilarious Tweets From Pre-Twitter Canucks History” in the comments – and we’ll feature the best ones in the next edition.

Or don’t. Who are we to tell you what to do?



  • North Van Halen

    February 12 1976.
    Twitter Account: The Vancouver Sun
    “The Canucks reached celestial heights by defeating Montreal Canadiens for the first time in a regular [NHL] contest – a stretch of purgatory 30 games long and almost six seasons wide.”

    I didn’t even make this up. That’s a direct quote from the beat writer that day. I could go all afternoon with sad tweets from out first 30 years – Cam Neely & 1st (Glen Wesley) for Pederson anyone? – but there isn’t an antidepressant that could get me through it.

  • Kanuckhotep

    In 70-71 the first year Canucks defeated the big,bad Orr Bruins when Rosaire Paiement scored his 4th goal of the contest with less than a minute to go. When Curt Fraser decked Willi Plett 8 seconds into the CAL series of 1982 was quite memorable too. But am particularly fond of the first game Trevor Linden came back in 00-01 when they defeated the Wild in Minnesota and the franchise seemed to turn around at that point. These three events would have received fulsome praise from social media if it had existed then. Great Canucks memories.

  • wojohowitz

    Canucks owner Nelson Skalbania announces the leverage of his Hotel Georgia for $10 million to acquire the services of Wayne Gretzky from future bankrupt Peter Pocklington after outbidding future felon Bruce McNall. In a bizarre twist years later all three were cellmates in the country club California prison nicknamed the Beverly Hills Hilton.

  • Marvin101

    pat quinn going after the flames mascot when it trashed a canucks jersey and pat quinn going after don cherry when he called bure a weasel. pat quinn was the greatest canuck of all time. that’s why there’s a pat quinn statue.

    • Bud Poile

      Pat played less than two seasons as a Canuck-133 games.
      Smyl has been in the Canucks organisation for forty years.
      Linden,Bure,Smyl,Hank,Dan and Naslund (will) all have jerseys in the rafters as the greatest Canucks of all time.
      Quinn’s greatness came in a management role and that’s what the statue honours.