#IsItOctoberYet

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NO, it’s not. Now quit asking. 

Sheesh.

As any Canuck fan worth her or his salt will tell you, it’s not October until the sky starts falling. Literally and figuratively.

But as we wait for the rainy Canucks’ season to start, let’s review some of the things making news around the NHL as the dog days of summer come to a close…

First, Rogers has announced its roster of talent (and I use that word loosely) for national and regional broacasts as it takes starts on the new Canadian TV deal signed with the NHL. One of links I found when I was trying to Google an approriate article to link to featured the title “Sportsnet announces star-studded NHL broadcast team”.

Now, I can tell you that the “star” part of that title is completely inappropriate, but they sure nailed the “stud” part. Out of the 45 person broacast team, there are only three women on the list. Now that’s what I call a sausage party. And you know what they say about sausages…they’re like laws, in that you don’t ever want to watch them being made:

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And yeah, I’m not sure I want to watch Sportsnet make hockey broadcasts either. Unfortunately we don’t have much of a choice in the matter.

Sigh.

As for our friends over at TSN, I guess they still have the old Hockey Night In Canada theme song. Maybe they can just rename themselves the Theme Song Network and play it on a loop on Saturdays. I might actually tune in for that:

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Speaking of obsolete relics from Hockey Night In Canada, fear not dinosaur-lovers, Don Cherry will still be around to spew hot air during intermissions on Saturday night:

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That guy might  be the cause of climate change all by himself.

But look, let’s get serious for a moment. Haha, just kidding.

What I meant to say was, if the NHL and Rogers really want to stand out from the other major sports leagues and transition from simply broadcasting sporting events to becoming a bigger part of the entertainment industry, they could learn a thing or two from the WWE. I mean, it’s not called World Wrestling Entertainment for nothing. They know the business they’re in is providing world-class entertainment that thrills and excites young and old alike.

And hey, it looks like the NHL is half way there already anyway:

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Of course, if they want to become a true spectacle, they’re going to need a Vegas connection…

Oh, what’s that you say? Our very own local fossil, Tony Gallagher says an NHL expansion franchise in Las Vegas is a done deal? Well then. It’s all starting to make sense.

By the way, I just want to go on the record to say that I’m not sure Las Vegas can support a major league sport. No, it’s not the gambling connection that I’m worried about. As if actually being located in Vegas has any impact on betting on hockey or the ability to try and influence results, if somebody chose to try.

No, what concerns me is that fact that if you venture outside the glow of the bright lights on the Strip, the actual residents of Las Vegas typically lead a pretty sad existence, with increasing levels of poverty:

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Actually, I guess they kind of sound like Canucks fans.

Never mind then.


<shameless plug>

Finally, if you really are still asking yourself #IsItOctoberYet, then you clearly need to get your hands on the new Graphic Comments 2014-15 Calendar featuring some of your favourite Canucks themed Graphic Comments from the last year. Not only that, but it includes the full Canucks home and away schedule, so you can track each and every “moral victory” throughout the season:

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</shameless plug>

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  • piscera.infada

    Sausage festival, moral victories, and digs at both Gallagher and Cherry. Nice one. What about the annual fall ritual of gnashing our teeth over why other team’s fans just don’t like us?

  • Graphic Comments

    Wonderful article, very well written, are you sure you don’t occasionally wear Birkenstocks? Three questions come to mind in reading your material. First, how do we get rid of the dinosaur that is Cherry. He represents all that is negative in Canadian hockey by appealing to the australopithecans (before neanderthals) that have damaged the game for so long. Second, why are both sports networks so Toronto oriented? Most of the commentators work out of there and constantly prop up the Maple Laffs and still keep talking about Dion the Pylon as if he is an elite player. Third, how do we get some respect for the reset here in Vancouver? If there is ever talk not about Toronto it is about Calgary and Edmonton, two teams who are doomed as long as Burke and Lowe respectively are in charge.

    • Graphic Comments

      I’m afraid that due to the advances of modern medicine, Don Cherry will continue to dominate the discourse on Saturday nights for the foreseeable future. Unless he finally slips and says something utterly reprehensible, a la Jimmy the Greek.

      As for Toronto centric networks, it’s all about demographics. There’s just to many damn people in Toronto. Look, they have sucked for decades and people still PAID to go to the stupid FanFest fiasco at the ACC this weekend…

      I’ll answer your last question with one of my own: does it really matter if the Canucks aren’t the subject of the inanity that passes fire most hockey analysis on TV broadcasts anyway?