Fun With Capgeek Rosters

I noticed that (ever heard of it?) recently started letting users create & save their own rosters, thereby creating an entirely new source of thoughtful asset management mixed with the sheer lunacy that only a un-moderated message board could love.

Since relevant Canucks news is all but dried up at the moment, let’s take a look at a sample of these user-generated rosters. Spoiler alert: It also helps to assume other GMs have completely lost their minds.

The only weakness the Canucks haven’t addressed this summer (besides overall toughness, if that indeed is an issue) is a scoring threat to play alongside Kesler. Of course there’s a chance Gillis doesn’t find a trade to his liking and ends up doing something like this:

I don’t know why the cap space summary didn’t work on this one, but it’s a fairly simple change: Hodgson flips to wing and supplants Raymond alongside Kesler. The third line retains Manny at center flanked by some aging warriors  and Hansen takes a demotion to play alongside Lapierre and dark horse Archibald. Not sure where Oreskovich went (you’d assume he’s a shoe-in without Torres around) but whatever. It’s nothing exciting, but certainly probable by the time training camp ends.

But what fun is rosterbating with no trades? Let’s try another one titled "VERY realistic Vancouver 2011/12 team":

More often than not fans rosterbate away Raymond, Samuelsson, Ballard and either Hodgson or Schneider to make a trade work; in this scenario both wingers and Ballard head on over to Edmonton for Hemsky. Why Edmonton would want two injured wingers along with a D man who couldn’t crack the SCF roster to save his own life is peculiar, but Tambellini did ink Hordichuk so anything is possible. Besides who cares about the Oilers, look at the top six! You may want to ignore the defensive depth which takes a steep hit once Ballard is removed, especially if Salo gets injured or Tanev’s maturation takes a step backwards. Speaking of injuries, betting on Hemsky and Sturm to weather the regular season storm doesn’t sound appealing unless you and your friends open a "which groin will pop first?" underground gambling ring.

The true salvation kicks in when you roll the Zach Parise dice.

While the comically remote chances his rights would be moved to Vancouver are all but done, Parise would form a stupid 1-2 punch with Olympic pal Kesler. In this scenario it didn’t take much to pry the winger away from NJ either: Hodgson, Raymond and Samuelsson. I guess they were so caught up in the DeBoer fun that they forget to ask for Schneider and a first round pick. Sorry make that ten first round picks.

I couldn’t help but notice a roster titled "realistic team if you trade sedins"…you know that deserves a look:

If I followed this one correctly Gillis got into the Wild Turkey a bit too early on one of those GM fishing trips and traded the Sedins to ANA for Ryan and chased that thrilling high by moving Schneider for Berglund/Stewart, Ballard for Hemsky, Raymond for Shannon and Leclaire for Samuelsson. Pretend it all happened in one day too just to make the Flyers seem conservative by comparison. Best part of this roster: they have a decent amount of cap space left.

Lastly, you know someone was going to go balls to the walls with their roster. It wasn’t hard to pick a winner:

Take it in. Read it twice. Consider all the crushed souls in Chicago at the sight of both Toews and Keith donning the Orca. Or Willie Mitchell losing his defensive partner. Or basically everyone in Nashville at where Weber landed. Or Carter’s tears in CLB once he realizes Nash mysteriously went west. All of that is excluding how they hell they got St. Louis, JVK and Skinner in addition to what GM in their right mind took the Luongo contract in return (We’re looking at you Tallon).

This, my friends, is rosterbation at its finest; the fact it includes Souray of all players is the cherry on top.

Is it September yet?