Awesome photoshop by Annie Mae @westxnorthwest
Oh the NHL awards. The host is always dreadfully unfunny, half the players look miserable, and it’s always fascinating to see what b list? c list? D list celebrities the NHL scrapes the barrel with to make an appearance/music performance. But it does bring me one of my favourite things in the world: hockey players in suits! Last night I did my best Joan Rivers impression. Let’s see the results!
Michael Grabner (the one that got away *sniffle*)
On almost anyone else this would have looked silly but Grabby pulls it off because he has goofy swagger. I adore the ridiculous hair. I wish more NHLers would imbrace a little sheen and colour like Grabby did.
This is a terrible fit. He looks like he borrowed it from his dad’s closet. Honey, you’re an NHLer now. You can afford to go custom! But his awwhh shucks charm is off the charts so he can get a virgin pina colada and some cookies and wear whatever he likes.
He’s rocking it. It’s a great cut and I love the purple shirt. Excellent shoes! He kind of looks like he’s in a buddy cop movie with Marty St.Louis but it works, ya know? His hair is a bit dreadful but I’ll give him a pass because of the heat.
This suits his personality. It’s OK. Pretty dull and nothing to write home about. The fit is fine but I would have liked to see some colour. Toews always looks like he’s trying to learn how to smile for the first time in his life.
An elite vezina nominated goalie AND totally fetch. I love this. It suits his long lanky frame and I dig the white on the jacket pocket and the fancy belt.
He knocks it out of the park as usual. Great suit. Nice colour palette. The skinny tie really works on his lean frame. He even gets away with the crazy I just made out with my hot wife in the limo hair. Selke winner! BOOM.
I’m not sure what’s going here. He looks like an English professor who had a love child with a drug dealer. I do like the tweed/tan colour scheme on him though. And the no tie was fresh.
I’ve always thought Corey Perry was a silly little punk but I found him quite a bit more endearing after choking up while trying to give his Hart trophy speech. His suit is wonderful. A good fit and the grey was a great choice. Well done, Perry. More people like you now AND you made a solid suit choice.
What a tall drink of water. You could climb him like a tree. I really like the striped tie. I would have liked to have seen him with the jacket open.
A perfect look for the rookie. The fit shows off his height and I enjoy the patterned shirt and tie. He’s going to wear suits as a number one in this league for a long time.
It was clear after about 30 seconds that Jon Hamm should have hosted the awards over Jay Mohr. He’s funny, loves the St.Louis Blues, and could give some NHL players lessons in how to wear a suit. A clear cut first liner.