I thought that last week was a good week to ignore the on-ice product and rank the Canucks based on something silly, like animated gifs. Then, the Canucks went and played two dull, bad games this week. They lost both, scored four goals, and did nothing interesting. So I asked Twitter to help me choose another silly way to rank the Canucks. In the end, the dogs won. It had to be done at some point. Disclosure: all dogs are good and they are all #1 in my heart.
ok please help me decide how to rank them this week
— Gráinne (@wholegrainne) February 5, 2017
22. Alex Biega, Chris Tanev, Reid Boucher, Alex Burrows, Jannik Hansen, and Anton Rodin:
As far as I can tell, none of these guys have dogs. This is extremely disappointing. Hopefully they do better in the future.
21. Markus Granlund and this lizard:
Markus Granlund doesn’t have a dog, but he did once hold a lizard:
20. Michael Chaput and this penguin:
Michael Chaput also doesn’t own a dog, but look at his lil penguin pal.
19. Loui and Bella Eriksson:
Extensive googling led me to a 2007 article about Loui Eriksson where he mentions that he has a cute and shaggy dog named Bella. I don’t know if Bella is still around, but this is all we have to work with here.
19. Jack and Norm Skille:
Jack Skille has a dog named Norm, which is a great name for a dog. The last tweet about Norm was in 2013, though, so hopefully he is thriving away from social media.
— Jack Skille (@JackSkille) August 26, 2013
17. Daniel Sedin and his labradoodle:
In this Swedish interview, Daniel Sedin reveals that he has a labradoodle. The entire interview is unbelievably detailed – they ask Henrik and Daniel whether or not their Christmas lights blink.
16. Derek and Cali Dorsett:
Five years ago, Derek Dorsett tweeted this photo of a nice dog named Cali. Sweet.
— Derek Dorsett (@Twigy15) November 25, 2012
15. Henrik Sedin’s small zoo:
Henrik Sedin has a dog, but he also has a cat and two miniature horses. The horses live with him! Daniel Sedin is so confused and honestly, so am I. I’m sure his dog is great but I am more worried about these ponies.
14. Philip and Lili Larsen:
Check out this small poodle named Lili Larsen. She has great hair.
13. Brendan Gaunce and this sweet little thing:
While conducting research for this article, I discovered that Jayson Megna’s dog (further down on this list) has its own Instagram account and posts photos with his canine Canucks family. I think this dog belongs to Brendan Gaunce’s girlfriend, Heidi, but Brendan probably plays some sort of fatherly role in its life. It’s so tiny. So pure.
12. Ryan and Puck Miller:
Ryan Miller’s French Bulldog has the best name for a hockey dog. He looks like a very sweet older brother.
— Ryan Miller (@RyanMiller3039) August 26, 2016
11. Jacob and Ibra Markstrom:
Jacob Markstrom’s dog looks very funny but also very soft. He is named after Zlatan Ibrahimovic and I love him.
— Jacob Markstrom (@j_markstrom) June 7, 2014
10. Erik and Ruby Gudbranson:
Erik Gudbranson owns a very large and beautiful dog named Ruby. Here they are wearing matching outfits.
9. Brandon and Georgia Sutter:
I didn’t even know that Bernadoodles existed until right now. Those might be the best paws I’ve seen all day. She’s beautiful.
8. Ben Hutton and Buddy the cat:
Ben Hutton doesn’t have a dog, but his cat, Buddy, is so funny that I’m giving it a spot in the top 10. Look at his eyes.
7. Alex Edler and his labrador:
Alex Edler’s labrador is so shiny and based on these photos, they mimic each other’s facial expressions. Truly magical.
6. Jayson Megna and Enzo:
As I mentioned earlier, Jayson Megna’s weimaraner, Enzo, has his own Instagram account! Enzo also has the bluest eyes this city has seen since Taylor Pyatt. Enzo is a very Italian-grandfather-who-has-strong-opinions-about-deli-meat kind of name, so Megna gets points for that.
5. Luca and Heidi Sbisa:
Luca Sbisa is Swiss, so of course he has a Bernese Mountain Dog named Heidi. Heidi is beautiful.
4. Nikita and Nikkoleta Tryamkin:
I’m obsessed with this dog. Nikita Tryamkin is giant and this dog is so tiny. It’s name is Nikkoleta which sounds like a miniature version of Nikita.
3. Troy and Ziggy Stecher:
Earlier this season, Troy Stecher declared his love for Ziggy (and all dogs) on national TV. Who can blame him? Ziggy looks like the softest dog in the world.
2. Bo and Gus Horvat:
Bo Horvat is the extremely proud dog father of Gus the French Bulldog. Gus is an Instagram superstar and has wonderful ears.
Bo is obsessed with his dog and I can’t blame him.
This is a reminder that Bo Horvat actually made an Instagram account for his dog Gus and posts on it far more often than his own account
— emily (@rdwingsx) November 13, 2016
1. Sven and Bear Baertschi:
I said earlier that all of these dogs are #1 but Bear Baertschi is the most #1. Huskies are so special. Here he is kissing Emerson Etem (whose dog is also amazing).
In a world filled with good dogs, Bear is a great dog.