Canucks Player Power Rankings & Oscar Recap


Welcome back for another week of Oscars jokes Canucks Player Power Rankings!

1. Henrik Sedin, John Shorthouse and their dogs

Henrik Sedin has really bought into that team-on-your-back-never-say-die-Jonathan-Toews-lead-by-example captain role this week with 8 points in his last four games. Also, and possibly more importantly, John Shorthouse revealed on Sunday’s broadcast that his dog is a sibling of Henrik Sedin’s dog. 

2. Peter Sedin

The true third Sedin attended Sunday’s game and you’ll never guess what he looks like:

3. Zack Kassian

Amidst his recent success and promotion to the top line, Zack Kassian still remembers to call home every now and then. Arooooooo!!


3. Daniel Sedin

Daniel Sedin has managed to be the third most powerful Sedin this week, which is unexpected and disappointing. Do better, Danny. 

4. Radim Vrbata

American Sniper barely featured onstage the Oscars but Czech Sniper has been going about his business tidily and smoothly, while wearing really nice coats:

5. Bo Horvat

Bo knows goals and he hopes that after his wrister on Sunday, other people know Bo’s goals too. Jason Botchford gets the best quotes out of this kid:


You see that Bo Horvat snipe?

He hopes you did.

“It’s one of my nicer goals so far, all of the rest have been in the blue paint,” Horvat said.

So you can score goals like that?

“Ya, now people will know.”

from the Provies

6. Eddie Lack

It has been a good week to be named Eddie. Lack fended off the Wild and relieved injured Ryan Miller with a wonderful 27 save performance.



What is it with Eddies and their happy dances?

7. Ryan Miller 

Ryan Miller played one and a half great games this week but will miss out on his would-be return to Buffalo. At least his friendly Swedish pal made sure to secure a win for him:

8. Dan Hamhuis

In the absence of literally all of the other top-4 defensemen, Hamhuis has done a nice job alongside Yannick Weber. Historically, good things happen when Hamhuis and Weber get together:

Weber Hamhuis Halloween NSH-1


9. Alex Burrows

Before mysteriously disappearing from the line-up on Friday, Burrows scored a very cool shootout goal. With all due respect to Alexandre Desplat and Interstellar, this move probably should have taken home the awards for Best Original Score and Best Visual Effects:



10. Yannick Weber

This week Yannick gets to say that he’s half of both the Vancouver’s best on-ice pairing and its best off-ice one. Cuuuuute. 

#tbt #mcm #wcw #lolz

A photo posted by Kayla Price (@kaylaapricee) on

11. Luca Sbisa

No pizza delivery boys were called upon at the Oscars this year, despite Luca’s months of preparing for the opportunity. Luca deserves some love though after some decent performances with limited pizzas and an unfortunate puck to the face. He has been rewarded through headwear: 

12. Alex Edler

Edler is missed on the blue line but aesthetically he was present at MSG:

13. Ronalds Kenins

Kenins and Horvat have been dynamite together, which is totally something we all expected to be saying in October. 

14. Adam Clendening

The offensive defenseman got the chance to be an offended defenseman when he sat next to Alex Burrows and his ketchup on the plane:



15. Jannik Hansen

Hansen’s week was fine until he accidentally did this and was subsequently demoted to Second Best J/Yanni(c)k:

16. Ryan Stanton

The increased responsibility has taken its toll on Ryan, but luckily he gets to fly with human pillow Zack Kassian.


17. Alex Biega

John Travolta’s favourite hockey memory was Alex Biega’s goal off the stanchion against the Sharks in 2011. 

18. Shawn Matthias

Nothing like sobering up after a birthday goal at Madison Square Garden with a night reminiscent of a black hole against the Devils:

19. Chris Higgins

Chris Higgins got to play in his hometown rink for the last time on Sunday. Next year, the Islanders will move to the Barclays Center – who, coincidentally, totally got snubbed at the Oscars for his performance in The Imitation Game. 

20. Linden Vey

Linden Vey participated in Canucks games this week. Here he is with some cards. 50 Shades of Grey? More like 50 Spades of Vey. Thank you.


21. Chris Tanev

Chris Tanev is going to come into a lot of money sometimes very soon and while we await his return from injury, he’s got a lot of time to plan out his spending. Perhaps some shampoo? 



22. Derek Dorsett

Derek Dorsett is very important to this team because he sure makes everyone appreciate the Sedins a little bit more

23. Nick Bonino

We’ve got no news on Nick Bonino except that Nick Bonino’s reading the news:


24. Brad Richardson

It’s been well over a month since Brad Richardson’s not serious injury occurred. 

25. Kevin Bieksa

With the return of Cal Clutterbuck into the lives of Canucks fans on Sunday comes some sadness that Bieksa was not present to throw his glove at Cal again. Perfect call from Shorty, as usual. Also – Dany Heatley and Mike Duco feature in this video. Good times, guys. 


26. Nicklas Jensen

27. Brandon McMillan

At least Nicklas Jensen has done something worth tweeting about. 

  • Vanoxy

    Good call on McMillan.

    Has there ever been such an invisible player before?
    I don’t think I’ve even heard his name mentioned by a play by play guy so far.

    At least that means he hasn’t done anything notably bad, but he certainly hasn’t done a damn thing to prove he belongs in the NHL.

    Arizona decided he wasn’t good enough to play for them, and they’re basically a minor league team, but Coach Willie was planning to play him over Kassian before Burrows got hurt.

    Hopefully that was the plan to light a fire under Kassian. “You lost your spot to this Jabroni, time to step it up!”
    If so… brilliant.