NATION PLAYOFF POOL UPDATE #6

DontLookAtMe

It’s Friday and don’t, for one second, pretend you’re working on anything. You may as well read this Playoff Pool update to see how badly I suck and how my dreams of Internet prizery are being replaced by the stench of failure and loneliness. Somewhere out there, Chris Kelly is laughing at me. He’s pointing at his screen and mocking my stupidity. Not only did I choose an injured player for my roster, I didn’t take a single Canadien,NY Ranger or Chicago Blackhawk. Now, the only thing left for me to stare at the concrete as I plummet to earth and wait for impact. This is my life at the bottom, laugh if you must.

THE LEADERS

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Would you look at that… Hemmercules is, once again, hanging on to the top spot but adam.casty is fast approaching. The once dominant, Rammertime, has fallen off of late so I can only assume whatever black magic he had going early has faded.  Looking at the leaderboard, I would like to give honourable mention to ‘The Ever-Disappointed Oil Faithful’ who is not only saying what we feel, he carries the wait of our disappointment in his pool name. For that I congratulate you.  The disappointment of the Nation is not your cross to bear, but you carry is well and deserve to be recognized.

Speaking of disappointment, tonight could very well be the last game that Bob Cole announces on HNIC unless the Blackhawks pull out a win and extend this thing to 7. The man is a legend, and although age and accuracy are travelling in opposite directions these days his last game was a masterpiece. He announced that double overtime thriller with all the piss and vinegar of a 70 year old Bob Cole, and it was beautiful!  I’m going to enjoy his magic voice for as long as I can, regardless of whether he knows who actually has the puck or not.

On the bright side, Montreal is now out of the playoffs and no Canadian hockey fan has anything left to cheer for. Yes I’m bitter and yes I have Habsenfreude.

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If I could have a do over on the name it would probably make more sense to call myself BAGGEDMILK IS STUPID AND USELESS because I keep sliding down the ranks.  You know when your top seeding was 114th, you did not have a very successful hockey pool.  I invite all of you to share your disappointment in my team with me.  I have family and friends in this pool who are embarrassed to be affiliated with me in any way. What was once a scent of mediocrity has been replaced by a wretched waved of rotten failure. I have embarrassed myself and I have embarrassed the Shaolin temple.

P.S.

Dear PK Subban,

You may not have won the Stanley Cup this year but you are only days away from hitting the lottery.  One thing I hope, for you, is that another GM takes it upon himself to offer sheet you.  I even wish my beloved Oilers would do such a thing.  Sure, we may have to give up 1 consecutive 1st round picks but Montreal may match and we may screw them capwise for years to come.  Either way works for me. Just know that I love you and I accept all donations regardless of monetary value. 

Kind regards,

-baggedmilk

  • SmythsMullet

    Hey everybody, I think I saw mike Gillis the other day on the corner of Commercial and Broadway sporting a really big unkempt neck beard!

    He had a sign that said, “Out of work. Will beg for food. Then I will trade that food away for nothing.”

  • SmythsMullet

    And you can bet the reason why Linden hasn’t found a new coach yet is because no good coach in the league wants to come to this circus. They all saw how Torts was fired before he was even hired by the likes of long time BC shills such as Gallagurl, Botchfart, Farhand Lousy, And the entire team-shill 1040. With sports people like that in BC, you don’t need enemies.

  • SmythsMullet

    Looks like Av is getting the last laugh. Amazing how much better a coach can do when he has a team that doesn’t quit on a whim like the Canucks.

    This team quit on Av, it quit on Torts and next year, when Trevor Vanilla finds a new coach they will quit on him as well. The 50 year anniversary is coming up and who better to celebrate 50 years of stupidity and futility with then captain Mediocre?

    One thing is for sure, AV must be so glad he doesn’t have leaky luo to start in net. Hahaha, all that money to a goalie who’s never won anything except a medal on an allstar team. What a tarnish to real olympic athletes. Hahaha

  • Hemmercules

    I just like the name Baggedmilk. It’s less pretentious than some of the Canuck shills that are on here.

    I don’t think it’s safe to carry milk in a bag these days. Wait, paper or plastic bagged milk?

  • Hemmercules

    I love it when the Oiler fans are more concerned about not giving the Flames the better player in the first round vs actually addressing their own needs……hopefully Lowe/ McT are doing the same…..with that kind of thinking we are almost assured to get the better player!!!!
    Can’t wait for the draft!!!!

    WW

  • I have reconsidered my comments. They were inappropriate, inelegant and uncouth. I will try to do better in the future. Also, they should eliminate fighting from hockey. I will go now, sit in a corner and contemplate what I have done. Goodbye.

  • Hemmercules

    To win this thing all I need is a low scoring LA win tonight, coupled with a Kopitar broken leg and a few Stephan hat tricks in the final and I’m good as gold. Too much to ask???

      • Hemmercules

        Haha, all luck my friend. I did win the only pool I entered last year though so maybe that magic will carry on. Regular season pools I’m a bum.

        Keep it up Milk, i find your posts entertaining in an otherwise dismal time for the Oilers. Honestly i’m tired of scouting combines and draft picks and assistant coach searches. Heres hoping Mact adds a few dudes that want to win above all else and we see some playoffs before we die.