I can’t even tell the difference (Image via Rich Lam)
The NHL has me in a holding pattern of sorts, as I’m sitting around twiddling my thumbs as I wait for news regarding the length of Zack Kassian’s (and Dale Weise’s, but whatever) suspension.
The worst thing that has come from Saturday’s incident – other than of course Sam Gagner’s broken jaw – is the amount of irrational comments that have been spewing out as people try to stick up for their player and team. Especially from people who are generally pretty on point with their takes.
At this point though, I honestly can’t decide what the bigger black eye is for Edmonton: the fact that their team is now employing noted face puncher Steve MacIntyre, or that their fans/people who cover the team are comparing Sam Gagner to Daniel Sedin..
Read on past the jump if you’d like to take a trip with me to fantasy land.
My favourite part of this whole Kassian-Gagner thing is that now Gagner’s Canucks equivalent is supposed to be Daniel Sedin. What?
— Rhys J (@Thats_Offside) September 23, 2013
It’s true. People are really doing it. If you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself:
Derek Zona of Copper and Blue (a usually very good Edmonton Oilers blog) pulled a move out of the Bill Simmons handbook when he, totally unsolicited, wrote a post built around his father, in which he proposed a new rule for suspensions. It’s both comical and sad at the same time, because I actually am usually fan of Zona’s work. On this occasion though, yikes. Here’s the money shot from the post I’m referencing:
"Kassian’s in-person hearing guarantees that he’ll receive a five game suspension, which is all well and good, but Zack Kassian is worthless, while Sam Gagner is a very good player. Under Dad’s system, the Canucks’ second-leading scorer from last season, Daniel Sedin, would miss as many games as Gagner is out of the lineup due to the injury. In this case, Gagner is expected to miss between 10 and 15 games, so Sedin would serve a 10-15 game suspension. See ya in November, Daniel."
Robin Brownlee, who contributes to our friends over at Oilers Nation took it a step further:
So, the next time Kassian even looks at Gagner wrong, MacIntyre punches Danny Sedin’s teeth down his throat? Only way this makes sense.
— Robin Brownlee (@Robin_Brownlee) September 23, 2013
Dan Tencer sees your thoughts, Robin, and one-upps them:
I wouldn’t be disappointed at all if MacIntyre’s sole role here included a focus on skill players on any team that runs around on the Oilers
— Dan Tencer (@dantencer) September 23, 2013
Tyler Dellow, keeps the good times rolling. Did you know that he’s a lawyer, by the way?
A real deterrent would involve breaking a Sedin’s jaw on Oct. 5, skating by VAN bench and telling them to have Kassian make his smoothies.
— mc79hockey (@mc79hockey) September 22, 2013
There’s no denying that Sam Gagner is a very valuable member of the Edmonton Oilers; they just signed him to a 3-year, $14.4 million deal, and he fills a big hole for them down the middle. All that stands with Boyd Gordon being the team’s top center is Ryan Nugent-Hopkins’ frail little shoulders. It’s a bummer for the Oilers that they lost such a key piece before the season ever got underway.
But comparing him to Daniel Sedin is, um, getting a little bit crazy. And then some. I would have said that this all goes without saying, but.. apparently it needs saying.
Sam Gagner came into the NHL in 2007-08, and in 414 games since then, he has totalled 91 goals and 258 points. He has yet to ecclipse the 49 points he set in that rookie season, though he was on a 65-point pace in this past lockout shortened season.
In that same period of time, Daniel Sedin has scored 172 goals, and 452 points. He also won the Art Ross, Ted Lindsay, and was nominated for the Hart. Other than that, they’re basically the same player.
For those scoring at home, we’ve reached two conclusions:
a) Sam Gagner = Daniel Sedin.
b) Zack Kassian is a criminal –> you cheer for Zack Kassian –> you’re probably a criminal.
For a while there I thought that we all may be the victims of an elaborate inside joke, but it appears that isn’t the case at this point. Isn’t it punishment enough for the Canucks and their fans that people are totally unironically equating Sam Gagner and Daniel Sedin?