If the NHL lockout weren’t ongoing (with no end in sight, and more games likely to get cancelled this week), Canucks fans would be looking forward to tonight’s tilt between the revamped Carolina Hurricanes, and the hometown Canucks. Thankfully, the game won’t take place, which is good news for people who hate Semin/Semen jokes.
Unlike the Hurricanes, I’ll quit Staaling and preview other entertainment options you might consider in hockey’s absence this evening!
Monday Night Football
Look on the bright side, it’s tough to get worked up by the absence of hockey when you’ve got football to watch!
Luckily tonight there’s a pretty good MNF matchup as Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos head to sunny San Diego for an AFC West grudge match with the Vancouver Canucks of football.
Until last week’s shootout against Drew Brees and the Saints, the Chargers hadn’t been involved in an entertaining game all season. They’ve blown out bad teams, and been exposed as mediocre by quality games. So, in a division featuring the Broncos, Raiders and Chiefs they should make the playoffs! Playoff chances aside, make no mistake, the NFL’s Vancouver Canucks (coached by Norv "Alain Vigneault" Turner) just aren’t a particularly good team.
Speaking of teams that aren’t particularly good, the Denver Broncos are also playing football tonight. Peyton has been pretty good so far this season, which is great to see because if you don’t like Peyton you’re a Patriots fan (and almost surely a jerk). Still, they should’ve kept Tim Tebow because all he does is win.
Try to Win a Guitar Signed by Kid Rock and Paul Ryan
— Mitt Romney (@MittRomney) October 15, 2012
The only thing I’ve ever wanted more than this is a bejazzled duster to wear while rocking out on my Keytar.
The Cardinals, are doing their best to make guys like me (who don’t believe in clutch) look silly. Last season they were a single strike away from losing the world series – instead they came back against Texas to win. Then this past Friday, again, they were up against the ropes and came back to win in the bottom of the 9th. Tonight they’ll look to go up two-zip in their National League championship series against the San Francisco Giants.
Can the Cardinals emerge as quadruple A champions for the second year in a row?
Wallow in Self Pity
Here’s a novel consideration for you tonight. Rather than do anything like reading a book, or watching television, you could get home from work, change into your sloppiest pajama bottoms and your oldest t-shirt (the one that smells like your ex, and has multiple rips under the right armpit) and just spend the evening in contemplative sadness. The key is not to go to too dark a place, but rather to put on some Annie Lennox (pro-tip: "No More I Love Yous" FTW) or Enigma and indulge your fears about life’s existential meaninglessness, your ultimate vulnerability, and that nagging sense of alienation.
Night Life and Event Listings
What’s more famous, this dude’s sunglasses or Vancouver’s lack of culture?
I think there’s a band I’ve never heard of playing a concert at the Commodore for thirty dollars! That sounds appropriately priced.
Or if you’re looking for something more reliable, you could go for that old classic Vancouver standby of showing up at a bar with your friends and not mingling with any of the other patrons. Maybe you can play Jenga at the table over pints, and then participate in a Vancouver Sun poll about how your fellow Vancouverites are cliquey and unapproachable!
Go to Gotham’s
Gotham’s is delicious, and since you haven’t had to buy any "watching hockey beer" or "watching hockey delivery pizza" this month, you can afford it. Pro tip: top your bone-in cut with some Stilton and wash it down with Jim Beam. You’re welcome.
Image courtesy urbanspoon.com