You Know What I Hate?! – April 30th

This faux hipster dummy accountant is angry. And so am I. He’s made because I keep asking
if I can write off pajama pants as a business expense.
(Photo via

Today I continue my weekly feature of me venting and raging on stupid crap happening with the Canucks, their fans and around the NHL. Two things about feature… 1) It will appear (hopefully) every Monday, and 2) It is blatantly ripped off from a stand-up bit from comedian Craig Anton. On either point, I make no apologies. Enjoy. Or don’t.

This week, I’m the guy that says ‘You’re a moron’ to the Hodgson camp, double-standards and Strombone’s noisy hangers-on. As they say on TSN, they’re a dud.

You know what I hate?! The Hodgson camp. Much of the whining and politicking that has surrounded Hodgson over the past six months appears to be coming from people associated with Cody Hodgson, rather than CoHo himself. I don’t really have too much of an issue with Hodgson himself, but my ability to give Cody himself the benefit of the doubt has dissolved to its last string. That said… Holy crap, can everyone in the Hodgson camp shut the hell up?! We know now that the request for more ice time came from Hodgson’s agent, Ritch Winter, as well as some strong input from Cody’s dad. And there was a LOT of push out of Winter and Papa Hodgson. Now, we have an interview from John Vogl of  the Buffalo News with Hodgson’s training svengali, Gary Roberts, in which Roberts takes cheap pot shots at Mike Gillis as a retort on Gillis’s comments last week. Why is Roberts sounding off about Hodgson’s organizational disagreements anyway? He’s Cody’s personal trainer and nutritionist, for crying out loud. Roberts obviously felt a need to respond to what Gillis said, in what was an obviously calculated article from Coho And Co. Gary Roberts should stick to handing out weird pink vitamin drinks and let Hodgson’s idiot agent do his politicking for him. The bloom is quickly falling off the rose of Mr. Hodgson. Any more moves like this and Cody is going to lose the "Get Out of Jail Free" card on to which he’s clinging, and will officially and rightfully be stamped with "DIVA".

You know what I hate?! The double-standard on making excuses. As Joel Ward scored the game-winning overtime goal for Washington, many Bruins fans took to Twitter and Facebook to hurl disgusting racial epithets at the Capitals winger. In the wake of this inexcusable behaviour, many took to Twitter to ensure the public that this was merely a small subsection of Bruins fans and implored the public to avoid painting all Bruins fans with the same brush. That’s very true. But where was THIS explanation one year ago?! Where was that reasoning as a small subsection of Canucks fans took to the streets of Vancouver and set it ablaze? No, instead, it was very easy for opposing fanbases and media to point at Vancouver and say, "You see? All Canucks fans are just as worthy of hate and vitriol as their team! Look what they do to their own city!" So hours of calling Joel Ward the most horrible, vile names is easily explained and dismissed as a isolated incident by a small group of fans. However the riot, proven to be perpetrated by only a small group of complete idiots, was clearly the result of our entire thuggish and contemputous fanbase. This proves one thing – no matter what good they do as a team or a fanbase, the Canucks and their fans will ALWAYS be hated by the entire league. If Bruins fans can somehow garner empathy, but Canucks fans can’t, that pretty much salts it away right there.

You know what I hate?! The strombone situation is getting perilously close to jumping the shark. The back-and-forth between Luongo (@strombone1) and a Blackhawks-turned-Lu fan (@NotBobbyLu) was, and still is, very witty and highly amusing. There are now a WHOLE bunch of weird tangential parody accounts, created in the wake of the explosion in popularity of the conversation between Luongo and his newest confidant. With all of these parodies trying to hone in on this unique relationship, it’s beginning to feel like it’s losing its lustre. If you isolate Lu’s tweets alone and ignore all of the mess created by the influx of parodies, he’s still ridiculously entertaining and funny on his own. So, don’t get sucked into reading all the nonsense from @MrsNotBobbyLu @RealBobbyLu @MrsRealBobbyLu and others, because they’re just noise. Stay true. Stick to strombone, and pray that it doesn’t get out of hand.

You know what I hate?! The drop in the number of the hockey games means more baseball and basketball highlights on my TV. PUUUUUUUUUKE. Baseball is so god-awfully boring and basketball is full of loathesome, highly egotistical personalities. I don’t see why people go so crazy about a dude that’s 7 feet tall dunking a basketball. Shouldn’t those guys be able to do that every single time? Do you know what’s impressive to me about basketball? When a guy is standing at the other end of the court and hurls a buzzer-beater into the basket . THAT’s impressive. Every thing else about basketball is stupid. The WORST part of a basketball game is the free-throw exhibition that occurs whenever a team is up by 8 to 10 points at the end of a game. God, that’s EXCRUCIATING. Just play the damn game. Imagine the end of a hockey game where the coach just called a timeout at every whistle. Horrible. And that’s what makes basketball so dumb. Basketball is stupid. Baseball is boring AND stupid. Hockey rules all.

You know what I hate?! Doing my taxes. I despise doing my taxes. Oh and because of that, I still haven’t done them yet. And before any of you goody-goodies out there go run off to Revenue Canada, I do my taxes on time every year, and will do them today. But I’ll hate doing it. And there will be plenty of swearing.

  • Greg Stink | ESPN

    The reason canuck fans are hated by the entire league is that many canuck fans are arrogant without having a very good reason to behave in that fashion. While presedent trophys seem like a big deal out on the west coast, they are not, and in no way justify the manner in which vancouver fans carry themselves and interact with fans of other teams. To sum it up, canuck fans behave as though their team is a multiple cup winner, when in reality the team has won nothing. It doesn’t help that vancouver fans shoot their mouths off right up until they lose in the playoffs, and then mysteriously become quiet, as if they haven’t been behaving like *ssholes. Also, racism is bad. A bunch of idiot canuck fans lighting their city on fire is funny. That’s the difference.

  • Greg Stink | ESPN

    Yeah – How dare those Canucks fans show admiration and devotion to the team that they are cheering for. They have no right to cheer for that team until they win the biggest and most difficult trophy to win in professional sports!

    That is the single stupidest argument I have ever heard. Every sports fan cheers for their team. Get over it.

  • Greg Stink | ESPN

    The auther of this blog stated that canuck fans are the most hated. I am offering up an explanation as to why. This is not something random that a whole league of fans has dreamt up, so there must be a reason. What would you suggest that is? Arrogance in victory and excuse making in defeat is bad for karma. Mind you so is hanging presidents trophy banners, making hats etc before a cup is won…

  • Greg Stink | ESPN

    It’s not even your explanation. I’ve seen it a million times. It’s the media who drives these stupid narratives. They are the ones that are trying to sell papers, or get hits on their website. People want to see the mighty fall. It human nature. So when a team is doing well, let’s tear them down. Honestly, most of professional sports coverage these days is no better than the celebrity gossip magazines. But what drives me crazy, is how so-called hockey fans eat it up.

    “Karma” is not a real part of a sport. It is just another convenient angle to generate a “story”.

    All teams hang their Presidents’ Trophy banners, Conference Champion banners, etc., and all teams make hats in the finals in case their team wins. That has no impact on the outcome of any game.

  • Mantastic

    Mantastic – Let me guess, are you a Flames fan? Personally, I don’t like Flames fans because I find that they are arrogant jerks. This is the point of my first comment – fans of every team appear this way to every other team. Hint: It’s because they’re fans.

    figureitout – I guess you aren’t interested in having an actual discussion about this. Colour me disappointed.

    • Emma

      As a Canucks fan living in Calgary I have to say that, personally, I find Flames fans to be ridiculously arrogant. The Leafs/Sens/Oilers/Habs/Jets fans that live here too agree – because we are surrounded by it, as I imagine you are in Vancouver. It’s a pretty biased position to be speaking from.

  • Emma

    Got it — Canuck fans are not allowed to behave identically to all other sports fans across the world, because unlike the other 29 teams, they don’t win the lottery that is the Stanley Cup every year. The other teams all do. Got it.

    Also, if your team was good in the ’60s, then you’re “allowed to run your mouth”. Also important to note. If only our team was around when you had a 1/6 shot…

  • Mantastic


    I currently live in Vancouver but i’ve also lived in Windsor (wings/leafs fans) and also Toronto. and just look at all the twitter comments made by canucks fans to get a sense at what they chirp about when all they’ve won are 2 president trophies…(when they play in the worse division in hockey) and 3 conference trophies… in 41 years….