You Know What I Hate?! – NOV 14

This guy is angry AND dishevelled. And so am I.
Well, I’m not really dishevelled. I’m hanging out in my jammies. So I’m just lazy.
Photo courtesy

Today I continue my weekly feature of me venting and raging on stupid crap happening with the Canucks, their fans and around the NHL. Two things about feature… 1) It will appear (hopefully) every Monday, and 2) It is blatantly ripped off from a stand-up bit from comedian Craig Anton. On either point, I make no apologies. Enjoy. Or don’t.

In this week’s edition, I hate on dumb rules. And being "classy" or "classless". And anyone, especially refs, who denies us the glory of Rome.

You know what I hate?! Not being able to hit a goalie who’s 30 feet from his net. This is CRAP. (For those that aren’t aware, this is in reference to Milan Lucic hitting Ryan Miller. Not the actual WAY that Lucic hit Miller. More on that later…) Yes, I know there is a rule in place to protect sweet, innocent precious goalies from being hit. It’s a crap rule. If a goalie leaves his crease to play the puck LIKE A DEFENCEMAN, then an opposing player should be allowed to hit him LIKE A DEFENCEMAN. Don’t give me any crap about "goalie masks aren’t as protective as other helmets." That’s irrelevant. Goalies can switch to Osgood/Cloutier cage-style helmets and have the same level of protection to their head. And goalies… if you don’t like being blown up like Miller, then stay in your DAMN NET, or slide and cover the puck. Problem solved. My boy Earl Gordon had a great solution to this (via Twitter): "I agree with conditions 1) I would need a bigger crease / safe zone. 2) would need some amount of extra protection, like NFL QB’s". I like this idea a LOT. Make the crease a bigger safe zone for goalie. And keep the goalie interference rules as they are now. I’m not trying to hate on goalies at all. But why should they be treated SO much differently that other players, especially when they’re in the act of playing like a regular player. If you’re a goalie and you take the risk of playing the puck behind the net, then you should assume the risk of being hit… just like any other teammate. If you don’t want that risk, stay in your net.

(and for the record… so you don’t accuse of wanting players injured… It is a DAMN shame that Miller was concussed on the play.)

(ALSO for the record… I’ve watched the Lucic hit several times now. It was a dumb cheap shot. He COULD have hit Miller with a a solid body check and I would have had absolutely no problem with it. But he brings his arms in and up and hits Miller while his raises his arms fully up and through. If Lucic simply keeps his arms tucked in and hits him midsection, then that COULD and SHOULD have be a clean hit on any player on the ice.)

You know what I hate?! Use of the word (or any variation thereof) "class" in hockey parlance. Enough of this! Ryan Miller… when Lucic bowled you over, it wasn’t classless. It was a PENALTY. Just like boarding. Or high-sticking. Or tripping. Are those penalties "classless"?! No. They’re infractions. Some are much worse than others… but they’re infractions. Using classy or classless is just getting ridiculous. Ryan, if you don’t like what Lucic did, call him an a**hole. And tell your players to defend you.

You know what I hate?! That assinine call on Aaron Rome for his hit on Devente Smith-Pelly in the Canucks/Ducks game Friday night. It was absolutely NOT a five-minute major, nor was it worthy of a game misconduct. And the only thing that overreaction from the refs did was deny the hockey world the glory and majesty of Aaron Rome playing the game we love. Aaron Rome has proved one thing and one thing only. It’s Aaron Rome’s world, and we’re all just living in it. These referees tried to deny Canucks fans… nay… HOCKEY fans … the true gift of watching Aaron Rome play safe, responsible high-percentage defensive hockey while miraculously racking up goals and assists. Why would you deny us of this gift, referees?! WHY?!

You know what I hate?! Bob Marjanovich. Get this goddamn clown off the airwaves of TEAM 1040. He is an unrepenting name dropper who understands next to nothing about ANY sport, other than NFL. He has actually defended drunk driving ON AIR. Today, he defended the Lucic hit, simply because he is a friend of the family. His bias is disgusting and inexcusable. His lack of sports knowledge is baffling. His on-air demeanor is cringeworthy.  GET HIM OFF THE AIR.

You know what I hate?! The hockey coverage and analysis we get on Sportsnet Pacific. Holy hell has it gone to crap. Not that it was ever very good. But it’s REALLY gone down hill. The local coverage was always iffy on quality. There sure is lots of content, but none of it is very good. Maybe I’m tainted by how godawful he is with BMac in the afternoons on TEAM 1040, but Don Taylor is just farcical now. His schtick has grown old and groan-inducing. Craig McEwen is awkward and tough to watch on screen at the best of times. Garry Valk offers no insight whatsoever in his analysis, instead coasting on the fact that his jaw is the size of a Chrysler. As for the national panels… they’re all mostly terrible. How on Earth Doug Maclean still has a job on television, I have no idea. Right now, the only two Sportsnet personalities that are worthy of any attention whatsoever are Jeff Marek and John Shorthouse. That’s it. Now… If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to turn on TSN for actual hockey analysis.

    • Hi Scott,

      I know that there is a fraternity of goalies that likely feels that my comments are stupid and ridiculous.

      However, I feel that a goalie sliding/falling on a puck has the same likelihood of getting injured as a defenceman doing the same thing. We don’t bat an eye when a D-man gets crushed on a hit, but everyone goes ballistic when a goalie gets hit.

      Lucic’s hit was a dirty cheap shot, so let’s set that aside because it would have been a cheap shot on anyone.

      In my opinion, if a goalie leaves his crease to either attack a puck or to stick-handle the puck to make a pass, the opposing team should be allowed to play him physically, just like they would to any other opposing player. Again, within the boundaries of the rule book. Not in the crease, not while he’s covering the puck. While he’s playing the puck like a skater.

      I know goalies will hate me for that.

  • RexLibris

    Also, I’ll never forget Marjonovich spending three hours ripping on a 19-year-old Crosby for being “not someone he’d like to play with” because he was whiny. He also didn’t like that he refused to talk to media after he lost in the Memorial Cup.

  • Mantastic

    penalities can be classless, highstick for instance, if a player swings a stick at someone’s head, that’s classless and a penalty. can’t just generalize all penalities being “non-classless”

  • Mantastic

    Obviously hockey will never go this way, but look at lacrosse. Goalies are fair game outside the crease yet no opposing player is allowed in the crease. I think that’s what it would take to allow goalies to be fair game outside the crease and I doubt it will ever happen.

    Goalies aren’t skaters. They don’t practise puck moving anywhere near the amount that skaters do. They don’t practise taking hits. That being said, we obviously have the freedom to roam around without the fear of being smoked by a forechecker. Does that make it a wash? I’m not sure.

    But there are two extremes to this. There’s the lacrosse example, or the other extreme which would mean goalies wouldn’t be able to challenge outside of their crease — almost using an enlarged trapezoid that covers the front of the net, as well. Obviously there needs to be a middle ground and I think it’s probably going to stay where it is right now.