Seeing it through

Ah the Oilers. Only one team in the known universe could inspire such a diverse cornucopia of emoticons amongst its devout following. Take our boy Max for example. He sent us the video above a few days ago when we still had positivity coursing through our veins. What inspires a perfectly normal person to imitate a crazed Britney Spears fan through a tribute video? The damned Oilers that’s what. This video is easily the most hilarious thing we have seen all year about the damned team. If you haven’t seen the original look up “leave Britney alone on YouTube.” If you don’t know who Britney is, you must be lost. The PBS website can be found here.

Anywhoo, this is our second offseason with our beloved OilersNation in existence. Last season we expected traffic to fall right off once the Shitanusly mediocre-turned-house-on-fire Oilers came up charmingly short in their post season run. Instead traffic kept growing so we kept writing. Brownlee did too and lo and behold if we didn’t grow by a factor of 5 over the offseason. It was the damndest thing.

What did we talk about all summer? Pretty much what we do during the season. We bitched and moaned and made fun of stuff that was 3.5% hockey related. You know, what we have all come to love about this site. We started though by ragging on all the other teams throughout the playoffs and discussing how the Oilers would totally have been able to win this or that particular game. It was some of our favorite times in the first year of operation. We also made predictions and heartily congratulated ourselves when they turned out correct which was basically all the time.

Yep, when you rely on the local hockey squadron for entertainment and they systematically fail you at every turn you have to make like pioneers and make your own fun. Think that the first settlers had YouTube? Hardly. They had to make do with a mere 50 cable channels in the late 1890s, including a non HD version of the History channel that was simply named “Now.”

Here at OilersNation Central Command we had detailed plans for this site when the Oilers made the playoffs. We are going to put these on the shelf and not tell all of our secrets in the hope that next year we can roll out all this awesome stuff we have had a very small hand in building.

Now we have to show you a couple things though because we have had a good many people helping us out the past few weeks and their creations need to see the light of day.

Make your own fun #1

Check off item #89 in the Wanye Bucket List™.

  • #88 Nail an Olsen Twin
  • #89 Build a hockey draft with awesome prizes
  • #90 Nail the other Olsen Twin

While the rest of you were sitting around contracting STDs and playing “guitar heroes” and having the time of your lives at one of our dozens of local watering holes, we have been hard at work in an underground laboratory with a team of OilersNation Scienticians™ building nationdrafts.com. No sunlight, no booze, no girls and breaks only every 4 hours to play a quick game of Dungeons and Dragons. We had originally thought the Oilers would be on this list of playoff bound players and that we could add in mad prizes for Oilers playoff scoring. Hudsons thought this was a fantastic idea too and we were both ultra disappointed when the Oilers had to be removed from the different check boxes.

Hudsons: “So the Oilers aren’t going to make it.”
Wanye: “Yeah, yeah. *hangs head*”
Hudsons: “We’re still down to give away $2,000 in gift certificates if you still want the draft, Wanye.”
Wanye: “Really? *imagines a table of girls with $2,000 worth of gift certificates and undying love for something called a Wanye.”

So the team assembled and did it anyways launching nationdrafts.com yesterday morning. You can register in any Hudsons location for the remainder of the week or if you are too lazy, live on a moon base or just like the interwebs better you can sign up on the website. Do you like winning gift certificates to Hudsons? Do you want to enter a draft where your chances of winning are better than the 1/205,504,345 that Yahoo and SportingNews currently offers? Well than sweet tap dancing baby Suri Cruise do we have the draft for you.

Do us a favor and bounce over here and sign up for this draft. Also, if you see large scale programming errors shoot your ol’ pal Wanye an email and he will get it fixed. And if you win any of the prizes you can take us for a beer. Then we will get half smashed, leer at the waitresses and tell you our favorite drunk story about the time we saw Rachel McAdams in a bar and drunkenly mistook her for a girl we went to high school with. How good of a story is that? Does your 30+ years of hob-nobbing with celebrities include a story like that Robin Brownlee?

Make your own fun #2

Speaking of launching websites yesterday the internet creation factory also spat out this little beauty. Now before we hear a bunch of BS about how the OilersNation was a plan to secretly convince everyone to pledge oaths of alliance to other teams just remember 3 things:

1. We only like one NHL team: the Edmonton Oilers. If we are playing Xbox against someone and they won’t let us be the Oilers we don’t play. It’s that serious. So before you accuse us of being secret Canucks or Flames fans you had better check yourselves. Because part of making your own fun could include kidnapping lippy haters who accuse us of being secret Canucks fans. So speak carefully and tell all your hippie friends who are Canucks Fans to stop asking you where they can score some “hemp rope” and kindly check out our new site.

2. Our brother lives in Vancouver and he is somehow or other a giant Canucks fan. Every time he calls us he says “when are you going to make a Canucks site??” Sometimes our Grandma will call us and say “you know your brother would love a Canucks site. Can’t you and your internet friends make one for him?” Do you know how annoying this has been for the past year and a half? We don’t disagree with Grandma on anything. End of story.

3. Well we couldn’t think of a third thing. But trust us we have no love for the Canucks or their weird hippie fans.

Now if you will excuse us we are going to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan to drink Pilsner until the sun rises and watch the last two games of the year with Saskatchewan Oilers fans. We are one of many jilted Oilers fans who are going to have to hold on through these last two games which couldn’t mean more to the Flames and couldn’t mean any less to the Oilers. Twitter us if anything awesome happens.

We make our own fun. Thanks for making it so hard Oilers.

  • lj

    Wow…this is awkward… Pretty sure i came up with the idea for that video a few nation posts back and yet i have NOT seen my quarter in the mail.

    hmmmpfffffff.

    *runs off to the corner and pouts*

    You're welcome Max… i hope you get famous and get with Britney!

  • lj

    Archaeologuy wrote:

    Can someone please come up with a catch phrase for Wanye Chicken Inc,

    Dirty Bird for the Common Man.

    Fat, Greasy, Full of Bones…Just like Amber likes 'em.

  • lj

    @ shakey:
    That would be hilarious. Open legs with the Oilersnation logo hiding his drumstick. Can someone please come up with a catch phrase for Wanye Chicken Inc, besides FMNF.

  • lj

    @ Librarian Mike:
    I just loved NHL 93 because Sega was amazing, the crowd cheering/booing was cutting edge, when a vicious hit was unleashed, the UhhHhGGGhHH sound was stunning. Also, you could be down 12-4 and still come back to win 15-13 (that one sweet deke, or just crash the net and it goes in).

    Also, Scott Mellanby? Damn straights the Oilers in NHL 93 were a powerhouse.

  • lj

    @ Archaeologuy:
    I don't know Arch, I'm sure we'd here about Wanye when he gets busted for throwing a phone at a bartender in some ritzy 5 star hotel after he laughs at him for ordering a Bud Lite or when he shaves his head and chases Gregor or Brownlee with and umbrella in a drunken rage (like that hasn't already happened).

  • lj

    I dont know Wanye, when you start to franchise out things go bad. Next thing you know some Mega-corp. will be using your face on buckets of chicken and the only time we'll here about you will be when you are randomly quoted by some nostalgic writer discussing the history of the Oilersnation.

  • lj

    Godspeed Wanye!!

    I used to always hate when my buddy was Vancouver and I was the mighty Oil playing NHL. Near-fist fights on a game-by-game basis. For some reason I feel like busting out the NHL 93. Joe Murphy #1 Star!