oh sh*t we suck again!


As it turns out, along with a rash of injuries and other excuses, the Canucks are sitting 13th in West. It’s time for some more glorious finger-pointing.

Finger Number 1 – Kyle Wellwood

Seriously Kyle, I don’t care if you had the flu. Maybe it is true that fat guys try harder. You have been a mere specter on the ice. Don’t get me wrong you had a good game last night, but maybe you should keep a weathered eye on the clock. A spectacular play after the buzzer is the functional equivalent of sleeping in your bed on the scoresheet. It’s time to start producing.

Finger Number 2 – Roberto Luongo

Roberto, WTF? The Canucks don’t need a spectacular goalie for 40 games and a mediocre at best tender for 30. Maybe you should take a page from Captain Kirk’s book. He wasn’t an all-star but he was consistent. Your start has been dismal.  

Finger Number 3 – Alain Vingeault

AV, seriously? defense? Your coaching style is bland, as is your team’s outlook. I do not like to watch the team sit on one goal leads. There is a reason why no team that plays that way has won a cup since the lockout. I don’t care that the Canucks just signed you to a three year deal, it’s time to break things off before it gets awkward.