Suddenly, the market crashed: A graphic guide to the 1st round
Graphic Comments
May 15 2013 06:36PM
Well, that was quick, wasn't it?
Heck, the Canucks dropped out of the first round faster than it's taken me to do this recap. Ok, maybe not. But it's close.
I suppose we should look on the bright side. I mean, at least we didn't lose our shirts this time around. This time, it was quick and painless. No, wait. That was last year. I guess this year it was Niemi and painless?
Anyway, the point is that the emotional investment just wasn't there this time around. That's a good thing, because most of us are probably still emotionally bankrupt after 2011. I mean, can you imagine if we were Leafs' fans?
Can we just Ctl-Alt-Del and start again?
Graphic Comments
May 02 2013 02:21PM
We should probably call this the BSOD series: the playoff windows are closing for both these teams, and the one that can execute a methodical shut down will advance. The other will crash for the last time and get rebooted.
And probably bring in a new operating system, er, I mean coach, while they're at it.
Before I go any further, I should say that if you're looking for the long-winded, numbers-based analysis of this series, you're in the wrong place. As Fox Mulder once said, "Nobody likes a math geek, Scully."
The truth is in here...
They're not laughing with you, #Lumbus, they're laughing at you
Graphic Comments
April 27 2013 08:49AM
Ok, maybe they aren't actually laughing at you, but that's only because they feel sorry for you. Look, Columbus, I'm all for joking around and having a little fun, but this #lumbus thing has got to stop.
Not only is it dumb, demeaning, childish and dumb, but it's also a subtle, ironic poke at your general ineptitude. Did I mention that it's dumb?
Seriously, club this one to death with a rock and put yourself out of your misery. It's for your own good.
NHL Waters Down It's High Profile Product
Graphic Comments
April 19 2013 01:47PM
Sure, I get that the NHL wants to milk the golden cash cow...no, wait.
That can't be right, because as we learned during the lockout, it's the players that are cattle. So maybe the the more appropriate phrase might be that they want to fleece the golden sheep? Whatever. I won't even make the obvious joke about killing the golden goose. The point is they can hold as many of these games as they want, but why hold one of them in Vancouver?
Seriously. I mean, it's one thing to figuratively water down the NHL's annual outdoor showcase by staging six of them next year, but holding one of them in Vancouver in March will literally water down the product.
Trade Line Dead At Rogers Arena
Graphic Comments
April 04 2013 04:47PM
It wasn't one of Mike Gillis' better days as GM of the Vancouver Canucks.
Not because he didn't make a big splash during the NHL's annual trade frenzysteriavaganzular.
After all, he did his best to address the Canucks' biggest needs the day before when he picked up a quality 2nd/3rd line centre in Derek Roy, inked versatile winger Chris Higgins to a very serviceable contract extention, and was in the running for hard-nosed winger Ryane Clowe righte up untile the laste minute.
No, Gillis' failure on Wednesday was more about not meeting the needs of Roberto Luongo than those of his hockey club. He compounded that failure by not living up to the heightened expectations set by both he and Gilman the day before.
More after the jumpe (but last extra 'e', I promise).
