There's No Such Thing As A #FreeTorts

Graphic Comments
March 14 2014 10:54AM

Photo 2014-03-13 3 38 18 PM

Yes. That is how much it will cost Francesco Aquillini to free Torts from his responsibilities. 

Whatever those are. 

I mean, he runs as few practices as he can get away with. Doesn't attend game-day skates. Heck, he's even delegated his in-game tirades during time-outs to his assistant coach.

The point is, whatever it is that John Tortorella does for the Canucks, it's not coaching.

So if it's true that Tortorella was not Mike Gillis' candidate-of-choice for to replace the departed Alain Vigneault last summer, but rather a hire made at the insistence of the Canucks' owner, then Gillis has a very small window to fix that mistake before it costs him his job. And if there's one thing Gillis should now a thing or two about, it's rapidly closing windows.

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USA Hockey Announces Their Olympic Dream Team, Literally

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January 04 2014 10:12AM

Either way, it's a dream team.

Yes, between David Poile having a guilt-ridden dream about leaving Jack Johnson off the team, and Brian Burke waking up in a sweat over a Seth Jones turnover, it was quite the selection process. I know the US men's basketball team has had success at the Olympics after putting together a dream team, but I don't think this is what they had in mind...

In what was purely a PR move, USA Hockey decided to allow two reporters to sit in on the meetings and conference calls that were part of the selection process for the men's Olympic hockey team. The stories from the two reporters "embedded" in the process, Scott Burnside for ESPN.com and Kevin Allen for USA Today, were to be part of a coordinated reveal on, sadly, the biggest night of the NHL season in the United States: January 1.

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Brian Burke Is Running Cowtown

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December 13 2013 01:07PM

Brian Burke is running cowtown

His hair's sticking out
He's wearing a tie
Feaster is out
I'm telling you why
Brian Burke is running cowtown

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Your Graphic Guide To 2014

Graphic Comments
December 03 2013 08:46AM

Give the gift of time!

It's like Christmas, your birthday and April Fool's Day all wrapped up in one!

This year, you can give the gift of time.

And I don't mean a lousy wristwatch. I mean, they can't even be bothered to put a full day on a watch. Twelve hours, sheesh.

No, instead of a measly twelve hours, you can give out twelve months! That's like giving someone 365 watches. How generous is that?!!

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Narratives, Damned Narratives and Statistical Anomalies

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December 02 2013 10:11AM

Never let stats get in the way of a good story.

Talking heads on TV sports panels have never met a statistical anomaly they didn't like. No matter how meaningless. No matter how lacking in context. No matter how irrelevant.

No. The only thing that matters is whether they contribute to a narrative, or tell a story.

Well, there they were on December 1 and the Canucks sat three points out of a playoff spot.

PANIC!!!

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