CanucksArmy Gear: Fresh Gear Versus Whack Gear

Thomas Drance
July 10 2013 09:12AM

It's summer time and that means the hockey news cycle is light. It also means it's time to wear t-shirts, the perfect summer garment. Simply put the summer tee has never been improved upon as a piece of warm weather clothing since time immemorial. And that's despite American Apparel's efforts to "innovate" with things like a v-neck collar so deep it shows off your dick...

And wouldn't you know it, we have some pretty sweet CanucksArmy Gear T-Shirts for sale featuring The Stanchion's limited edition "It's a Riot" Design (as voted on by our readers). But they're only available until Friday, then the t-shirts will go away forever, and you'll be left wearing out of style plaid and flop sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News all summer long.

So Buy some CanucksArmy Gear Today!

Still not convinced? Need to hear a hard sell first? Okay. Read past the jump.

To help you make a decision on whether or not to purchase a "It's a Riot T-Shirt" from CanucksArmy Gear let's look at some examples of unfresh hockey gear. Like for example....

Ah yes the Islander Fishsticks jersey that left Kanye West confused and upset... That is seriously NOT FRESH.

Now we need a palate cleanser to help scrub out our skulls and make us forget that awful image. Checking out some fresher threads might do the trick:

Oooh yeah. That's so fresh you better wash it in the sink before cooking with it...

Not Fresh?

Yikes! Far from fresh, that signed Messier jersey is positively putrid...

Also not fresh:

That's actually not an authentic Colin Campbell hockey card, by the way, it was done up by a little fake artist. Boom!

So yeah a Colin Campbell Flying-V and a Mark Messier Orca sweater, that's some aesthetically challenged hockey gear... Some fresh hockey gear by the way?

That shirt is so fresh and so clean, clean that it necessitates the embedding of that Yello song:

Here's some other pretty sweet hockey related swag:

Why it's our pal Richard Loat, the CEO and founder of Five Hole for Food sporting a mighty fine, simple white Five Hole for Food shirt. That's pretty sweet.

Hey did you know that a portion of the proceeds raised by the sale of CanucksArmy Gear t's will go toward supporting Five Hole for Food (with an additional portion being funneled toward YYC flood relief?). Sick hockey gear and a good cause go hand in hand apparently.

Just don't tell that to the Great One and his hot Burger King number:

YIKES!

Anyway, you can buy the CanucksArmy Gear It's a Riot Shirt today. But next week that won't be the case. Yep, the T-shirts will only be available through Friday - so act quickly! You can help support fresh hockey gear, charity and your favorite Canucks hockey blog (and the bloggers who write here) in one fell swoop! So what are you waiting for?

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Thomas Drance lives in Toronto, eats spicy food and writes about hockey. He is an NHL News Editor at theScore, the ex-managing editor of CanucksArmy.com and an opinionated blowhard to boot. You can follow him on twitter @thomasdrance.
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#1 2gansta2care
July 10 2013, 11:47AM
Trash it!
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TANMAN!

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#2 garth
July 11 2013, 10:22AM
Trash it!
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props

The image you guys are using makes the graphic on the shirt look like an iron-on and I think it might be hurting your sales. That being said, a friend of mine has an Count Chocula iron-on shirt...

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