DALLAS

Wanye
June 10 2013 03:17PM

 

Now that the dust has settled on the third coaching change for the Mighty Oil in the last 5 years it is time to do what we Oilers fans do best. Debate the shuffling of the deck chairs on the Titanic while the good teams battle it out for the Stanley Cup.

Was giving the Thirteenth Head Coach the ol' Georgie Burnett after 48 games and no real training camp the right move for the Mighty Oil? Let's get to it.

THIS IS A BAD MOVE

 

This is a team that is essentially veteran free - especially with rumours flying about that Hemsky and Horcoff are on their way out of town. There is a perfectly valid train of thought that this team needs a massive dose of NHL experience at every level, and the Head Coach is an excellent place to start.

Instead they are plugging an unknown variable into whatever the hell this team is at the moment. It's kind of like hiring a brand new sherpa to lead your expedition up Everest. Ain't nobody in your climbing crew seen the top of the mountain, but you are paying someone as though they know what they are doing. With zero climbs under his sherpa yak skin belt.

For the folks in this camp bringing in Dallas Eakins - an able AHL Coach without a single NHL win to his name - whilst Scott Howson collects a cheque to "provide insight" up in the press box is almost too much to bear. Oh yeah, and what's up with firing Krueger over Skype? They will fly all over hells half acre in a private jet to fluff Heatley but won't cross the pond to fire their HC after a mere 48 games?

Good heavens.

THIS IS A GOOD MOVE

Based on absolutely nothing in the way of actual knowledge beyond half listening to MacT's press conference and reading twitter while our Level Four town hall is being constructed in Clash of the Clans we can't help but think that MacT's reasoning went something like this.

In addition to needing to address several massive holes in the Oilers lineup as quick as can be MacT knows that making the Oilers tough to play against is job #1. This involves going out and getting toughians in bulk and retooling team strategy to make giving facewashes and punishing after whistle scrums a priority.

If the 2013 playoffs have taught us anything outside of StreakCred being life ruiningly addictive it's that not only would our beloved Oilers fail to win a single game if they were playing in the post season but that most of the Oilers would suffer career ending injuries in the first period of the first game of the first round.

This needs to change.

Hordichuk played like 8 minutes the entire season. Mike Brown showed he was able to jackhammer fools with his fists on a regular basis too. Yet Krueger seemed unwilling to ice the bashers - even against teams that were going to run the Oil out of the building on most nights. 

No sense going and getting a bunch of assets your Head Coach won't play. So you gas the guy, get a Coach that has a track record running a team in the style of play you want and then go about making yourself a whole lot tougher.

If this is the case then MacT may be onto something.

NO SUCH THING AS A BAD MOVE

We like MacT. Straight up. He speaks his mind, probably ain't afraid to tell K-Lowe to shove it when he tries to meddle and is making moves. At this point in the Oilers rebuild they need to make moves. Anything. Just do something*

So what do you figure. Is this a good move or a bad move? Or perhaps you would like to discuss Iron Man 3 in the comments. We saw it over the weekend and it was pretty decent.

OH YEAH-

ANYONE SEE WHAT MRS DALLAS EAKINS LOOKS LIKE? AND SHE HAS A TWIN SISTER! 

AI PAPI

*Except trade Jordan Eberle

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 tileguy
June 10 2013, 04:12PM
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Wayne said If the 2013 playoffs have taught us anything outside of StreakCred being life ruiningly addicted it's that not only would our beloved Oilers fail to win a single game if they were playing in the post season but that most of the Oilers would suffer career ending injuries in the first period of the first game of the first round.

I said "I hope he understands and has a gameplan that will allow smurfs to play against men. Kids against kids is one thing, RNH against big men is another."

Willis said " The Oilers are, on average, two pounds lighter than the Chicago Blackhawks.

Do they need to get bigger? Yes. Is it going to be particularly hard to get to a point where they're big enough? Not really." Who is right?

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#52 Science Bystander
June 10 2013, 04:22PM
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Wanye wrote:

I'm thinking of writing an article about neutrinos. WAIT THAT WONT WORK THEY LACK SUBSTANCE TOO*

*Big shout out to my masters degree in scientology at MIT

I love it when Wayne gets smart for a second. This is spot on and he gives a Bilderberg group reference. People should lip him off more often ha

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#53 Pucker - B class
June 10 2013, 04:38PM
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MKE wrote:

Some of you seem to have nothing better to do then b*tch about how bad every article sucks from anyone who writes on this site.

Why the heck do you bother coming here then?

Did mommy take away your xbox again leaving you nothing else to do but troll on the interwebs?

Seriously people. If you think this site sucks so bad....GO AWAY.

No one is forcing you to be here. Get a life. Or buy another xbox

I'm betting didn't you didn't apply for the Sales job that was posted. Or if you did, you didn't get it. Or if you did and you did get it, Wanye was the only one that interviewed you.

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#54 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:39PM
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G Money wrote:

If Gagne had any substance at all, he would spell his name GANYE.

This deserves a giant prop! lol

GANYE for the win!

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#55 Sanaa Montana
June 10 2013, 04:40PM
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Wanye wrote:

The Bilderberg Group is addressing this very issue at their meeting as we speak i'd wager

What is Iran's stand on hoodies?

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#56 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:41PM
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Pucker - B class wrote:

I'm betting didn't you didn't apply for the Sales job that was posted. Or if you did, you didn't get it. Or if you did and you did get it, Wanye was the only one that interviewed you.

That really the best you have?

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#57 Tom
June 10 2013, 04:41PM
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Randaman wrote:

Can we get someone who actually writes something of substance? Go to the NBA if you want to wear a hoody and act like a gang menber.

Agreed....What's the deal Wanye? Just tear up the team based on inexperience but don't mention that MacT is also looking for an experienced assistant to help Dallas. Just beat down the inexperience on the ice as well, but don't mention until later in your article that MacT will likely fix this issue as well. If you don't have something of value to add put away your laptop.

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#58 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:42PM
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Wanye wrote:

Actually I am forced to be here as part of my parole conditions. I'm not allowed within 100 feet of a cardboard Myley Cyrus cutout of any kind and I'm obligated to troll 18 hours a day.

Sidebar: Top drawer commentary fun today everyone. WELL DID

Ha ha well did indeed

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#59 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:48PM
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I do have to disagree with you wayne. I do see this playing out well.

I believe as you would say...he has da skillzzzzz to pay da billzzz

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#60 A-Mc
June 10 2013, 04:49PM
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Eakins has been brought in for 1 reason: for his wife to motivate the team and the fans.

How will he (we)/(SHE) achieve this?

Refer to the following picture from a Vancouver game sometime in 2011.. or something, i forget.

what?

http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/6136/16747952.png

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#61 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 04:55PM
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G Money wrote:

Oh excuse me Mr. Great and Powerful *looks behind the curtain* Wanye, but do you not mean

SERGYE and LARYE

the founders of

GOOGYE?

Man, anyone know how I can get paid to do this full-time?

Ask Wanye.... apparently it's working for him.

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#62 OilClog
June 10 2013, 04:55PM
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I'm willing to bet, Mrs. Eakins make one delicious batch of bacon. Baked in the oven.. none of the pan fried crap!

I usually have aout 4-5 strips of crisp bacon hidden in the front pouch of my hoodie.. Nothing makes gangster friends like Bacon.

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#63 OilClog
June 10 2013, 04:58PM
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GanYeezy presents a Cold Winter.. b!tch don't kill my vibe!

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#64 MKE
June 10 2013, 04:58PM
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Wanye wrote:

I actually think this is a good play. My article was intended to encourage debate and also name calling and reference the Bilderberg Group.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

TRUUUUUUUUUUUUU dat.

However I do think I'd bet all my cash money on them also bringing in Paul Maurice as associate coach.

I felt this before...but after seeing how highly Dallas spoke of him today.....done deal?

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#65 Smokey
June 10 2013, 04:59PM
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A-Mc wrote:

Eakins has been brought in for 1 reason: for his wife to motivate the team and the fans.

How will he (we)/(SHE) achieve this?

Refer to the following picture from a Vancouver game sometime in 2011.. or something, i forget.

what?

http://img831.imageshack.us/img831/6136/16747952.png

Mad they ditched Kreuger by removing the e-brake on his van and letting it drift into the river...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaoM0FyLmGY

However the addition of Ingrid will be enough motivation for these young Oilers.

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#67 madjam
June 10 2013, 05:21PM
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Didn't Kreuger give the Oilers a get tough regimen directive on the season ending interviews ? I believe he did and Dallas just reinforced it . Kreuger is still a good coach and it won't be easy for Dallas to outperform him . Good move . or unnecessary move is the question here ? If it leads to several more firings , just how that is going to affect the team and is it necessary ,or more detrimental?

Sounds like MacT. got his work cut out trying to find a new core capable enough to play Eakins template - because they don't have one now .

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#68 MKE
June 10 2013, 05:28PM
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madjam wrote:

Didn't Kreuger give the Oilers a get tough regimen directive on the season ending interviews ? I believe he did and Dallas just reinforced it . Kreuger is still a good coach and it won't be easy for Dallas to outperform him . Good move . or unnecessary move is the question here ? If it leads to several more firings , just how that is going to affect the team and is it necessary ,or more detrimental?

Sounds like MacT. got his work cut out trying to find a new core capable enough to play Eakins template - because they don't have one now .

Did you not hear what he said? The Oilers have top end talent..the hardest thing to find.

MacT has alot of work in front of him but I believe he will find those pieces.

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#69 madjam
June 10 2013, 05:52PM
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MKE wrote:

Did you not hear what he said? The Oilers have top end talent..the hardest thing to find.

MacT has alot of work in front of him but I believe he will find those pieces.

We had that top end talent last year and it didn't make much of a difference now did it . What's he gonna do turn Sam Gagner into Sam Gangway - good luck ?

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#70 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 06:01PM
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madjam wrote:

We had that top end talent last year and it didn't make much of a difference now did it . What's he gonna do turn Sam Gagner into Sam Gangway - good luck ?

actually not a bad follow-up to Ganye...

Sam Gangway... hehe.... not bad

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#71 Darrell
June 10 2013, 06:43PM
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Wanye wrote:

I actually think this is a good play. My article was intended to encourage debate and also name calling and reference the Bilderberg Group.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Where the hell s DSF - at least that clown blogs hockey on a hockey blog! * Off to take meds due to lack of hockey substance on OILERSNATION .....

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#72 vetinari
June 10 2013, 06:46PM
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Lemme run some quick math here... we get a new coach every 8.3 minutes or so... means that Wanye's turn should be sometime Wednesday, DSF gets Friday, and NewAgeSystem gets when heck freezes over...

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#73 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 07:18PM
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Darrell wrote:

Where the hell s DSF - at least that clown blogs hockey on a hockey blog! * Off to take meds due to lack of hockey substance on OILERSNATION .....

Substance on OilersNation? What, is it your first day here?

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#74 madjam
June 10 2013, 08:15PM
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We just missed out on a new goalie coach and possible backup . Anaheim just signed good old Roloson .

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#75 madjam
June 10 2013, 08:21PM
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I wonder if the Oilers will now expect Dubbie to turn into a hacker like Billy Smith or R.Hextall ?

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#76 spawnlauncher
June 10 2013, 08:21PM
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@majam

Anaheim wins the cup next year now, guaranteed

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#77 Wax Man Riley
June 10 2013, 08:33PM
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spawnlauncher wrote:

@majam

Anaheim wins the cup next year now, guaranteed

Book it

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#78 MKE
June 10 2013, 10:14PM
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madjam wrote:

We had that top end talent last year and it didn't make much of a difference now did it . What's he gonna do turn Sam Gagner into Sam Gangway - good luck ?

They need to bring in a better supporting cast. To make the whole team function better. There has to be a balance. This isnt about turning Sam into anything. Sam is what he is. Sam being sam is not the reason why this team lost.

There is room for improvement there. But they need a better supporting cast. I think thats clear. I trust macT

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#79 MKE
June 10 2013, 10:15PM
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vetinari wrote:

Posters who use 'book it' to drive home a point should be forced to stand in front of a Sheldon Souray slap shot without gear... Book it!

Agreed

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#80 madjam
June 10 2013, 10:50PM
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BC BOY wrote:

Theo Peckham was trembling in fear as soon as Eakins started talking about fitness

We could probably use a dozen Clydesdales like Theo and a few more pancake boys -then we'd be tough and gritty . Just dangle a carrot in front of them .

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#81 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
June 10 2013, 11:00PM
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Wanye wrote:

I worry that a negative props button would lead to morale plunging into the floor.

I also worry that one day all the obsolete iphones will become self aware and exact their terrible revenge on us all.

This is one of the most profound comments ever recorded here on ON*.

Will taping my old Iphone into an old metal lunchbox, with a full roll of duct tape wound around, protect me and my household from this inevitable retaliation?

.....and how deep does one burry this case in my neighbors back yard, is 8 ft deep enough? does an iphone3 have fingerprint acknowledgement?

* Anything to help a Wanye article get to page 3.

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#82 Darrell
June 10 2013, 11:04PM
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Wax Man Riley wrote:

Substance on OilersNation? What, is it your first day here?

I mean this article - annoyed easily - sorry - back to read only.

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#83 The Soup Fascist
June 11 2013, 01:14AM
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Who rates hotter - former DALLAS vixen Victoria Principal (pre-collagen circa 1980) or current Mrs. DALLAS Eakins - Ingrid Kavelaars?

Was a sucker for the ginger hottie back in the day, but the fact the very beautiful Mrs Eakins has a twin sister .......

When in doubt always ask yourself, "what would JR do"?

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#84 KenL
June 11 2013, 07:11AM
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Yah, like getting rid of a coach who was supposed to be a great motivator but managed to get into a 6 game losing streak that effectively killed any playoff hopes is a bad idea. This is the same coach whose asset management of the D was questionable at best.

How was Potter better than Whitney? Was there any point in sitting out Peckham once the season was lost? Why didn't Nick Schulz get benched for some his rotten games at the end of the season?

Yes the revolving door of coaches is not good. But giving Kruger the job, a man who also had NO NHL head coaching experience when he assume the position, was a bad hire. Unlike Tom Renny (which effectively was what Kruger was), he failed to see that he needed an extra coach.

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#85 vetinari
June 11 2013, 07:48AM
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Too bad Larry Hagman is dead... Ol' JR would have made a great, prickish assistant coach.

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#86 Eulers
June 11 2013, 08:04AM
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They aren't shuffling the deck chairs on the Titianic, they are soaring like the Hindenburg!!!

-Stephen Colbert

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#87 G Money
June 11 2013, 08:11AM
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madjam wrote:

We could probably use a dozen Clydesdales like Theo and a few more pancake boys -then we'd be tough and gritty . Just dangle a carrot in front of them .

I assume you mean "carrot cake"!

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#88 David S
June 11 2013, 08:41AM
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Next up, is Connor McJesus. wrote:

This is one of the most profound comments ever recorded here on ON*.

Will taping my old Iphone into an old metal lunchbox, with a full roll of duct tape wound around, protect me and my household from this inevitable retaliation?

.....and how deep does one burry this case in my neighbors back yard, is 8 ft deep enough? does an iphone3 have fingerprint acknowledgement?

* Anything to help a Wanye article get to page 3.

Seconded!

Let's get Ganye...errr WANYE to page 3!

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#89 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
June 11 2013, 09:07AM
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David S wrote:

Seconded!

Let's get Ganye...errr WANYE to page 3!

Thirded!

Oh wait..

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#90 vetinari
June 11 2013, 10:21AM
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What's so special about getting to page 3 of the comments??? Will some epic revelation occur? Will we discover the Colonel's secret recipe? How Eakins picks up women? Or how Buchberger keeps surviving coach after coach? We must get there people!!!

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#91 gcw_rocks
June 11 2013, 12:00PM
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What evidence do we have that MacT has ever or will ever tell KLowe to shove it? MacT owes KLowe is post-player career. I think people are kidding themselves that this is the case.

Perhaps the best test will be who the assistant coaches are this year. KLowe has been protecting Buchberger forever and Smith is one of his guys as well. If they get "re-assigned" to a part of the organization where they can do less damage, then we have some evidence. If they are back on the coaching staff, then its business as usual.

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#94 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
June 11 2013, 04:14PM
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vetinari wrote:

What's so special about getting to page 3 of the comments??? Will some epic revelation occur? Will we discover the Colonel's secret recipe? How Eakins picks up women? Or how Buchberger keeps surviving coach after coach? We must get there people!!!

The secret ingredient to the Colonels recipe, is the incredible amount of salt used in the process.

Page 3, is better than 2, but not nearly as impressive as 4. If we could only drag DSF and NHS in here. All of Wanyes wildest dreams would come true.

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#95 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
June 11 2013, 04:16PM
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LOUD NOISES!!!!

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#96 Next up, is Connor McJesus.
June 11 2013, 06:04PM
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http://i.imgur.com/2dHNVgS.gif

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#97 David S
June 11 2013, 06:27PM
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Next up, is Connor McJesus. wrote:

http://i.imgur.com/2dHNVgS.gif

That was seriously awesome.

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#98 vetinari
June 11 2013, 06:56PM
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*Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

*in honour of Father's Day coming up

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#99 G Money
June 11 2013, 08:04PM
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vetinari wrote:

Lemme run some quick math here... we get a new coach every 8.3 minutes or so... means that Wanye's turn should be sometime Wednesday, DSF gets Friday, and NewAgeSystem gets when heck freezes over...

Huh - the Oilers just hired me to be head coach by email, but then fired me by text message 20 seconds later.

Too bad it wasn't a government job, that $800,000 severance pay would be SWEEEEEEEEEEEEET.

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#100 David S
June 11 2013, 10:56PM
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Looks like I got the Gretzky comment.

Sweet. Hope Wanye doesn't fire me by Skype.

*Disconnects Skype just to be sure*

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