PHOTOSHOP CONTEST V: YAK CITY

Wanye
July 24 2012 06:41PM

Above is Tyga - a young star in the Cash Money/Young Money Rap Empire. He has a slammin track called Rack City where he talks about how he will rain down money on dancing girls given half a chance.

After the jump is Nail Yakupov - the newest star in the Rexall Sports/Edmonton Oilers Hockey Empire. He hasn't released a slammin' track that we have heard but the instant he smashes his first goal into the ice hockey net we will start dancing around and doing our best Tyga impersonation yelling "YAK CITY YAK YAK YAK CITY BITCH"

To prepare for this momentus day we want to kick off the fifth photoshop contest in the grand history of OilersNation.

SOME BACKGROUND

If you have recently been released from long term incarceration or perhaps just completed a thorough scientific study of the Mariana Trench you may have missed Photoshop Contests 1 through 4. They are among some of the most hilarious stuff that has ever happened on this site and we are regularly blown away by both the quality and number of entries in the game.

There was one that talked about how the Oilers management have zero plans beyond tanking the team and praying for good draft picks. Astonishingly this has worked. There was one gushing about Ryan Smyth coming home. There was one wondering what would have happened if things worked out differently at key points in Oilers History. And there was our personal favourite about how our blessed NUUUUUUGE is the cutest lil baby ever and needs to be celebrated as such.

It's amazing how resourceful we have all become in this Mariana's trench of Shitanusly Terrible Hockey isn't it? We have made our own fun like the pioneers did before fun was invented in 1839.

GAMETIME

We are toiling away at Nerd Camp and the laughs are few and far between. So we are going to unilaterally decide the contest and set the terms. We are also going to beg Oodle Noodle put up a $100 Delivery GC for the winner should he/she be from Edmonton and we will put up one of the sacred remaining NationDraft party tee shirts if the winner isn't from the Edmonton area.

WHATS THE DEAL-Y YO?

Let's work on the assumption that Yakupov is a Legendary Gun for the Oilers. Let's also assume that our favourite Tatarian Herdsman loves gangster rap. Let's also assume he is going to be doing his best to run the City one day*

Let's see some hip-hop/gangster themed entries proclaiming Edmonton Yak City. Extra points with the judge if you work in YMCMB gear, photos or any rap related content at all. Bieber gets it - look how swagged out he is in the photo above! Extra extra points if you can use imagery from Edmonton to remind the homesickest person on earth what home looks like again.

The Contest starts today - and ends on Saturday night at midnight. We will put the 5 finalists on the site on Monday morning and we can all have a good laugh and whistle in amazement and then the voting will commence. 

Craft your magic and send them to wanyegretz@gmail.com - good luck to everyone involved!**

*Good luck with that

**Good luck with that too

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#2 Raider Jesse
July 24 2012, 07:03PM
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You stole the fisting

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#3 Jordan Nugent-Hallkins
July 24 2012, 07:15PM
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Wanye where did you hide the props buttons?

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#4 geoilersgist
July 24 2012, 07:31PM
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@Jordan Nugent-Hallkins

Log in...

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#5 Max Powers - Team HME Evans
July 24 2012, 07:55PM
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These are so awesome. I only wish I knew how to photoshop so I could contribute. Unfortunately I can't though. But damn these are funny.

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#6 Quicksilver ballet
July 24 2012, 08:02PM
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Fat bottomed girls and really crappy music.

It is fitting they're paired up together though...

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#7 Puritania
July 24 2012, 08:40PM
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This is a great contest. Minus the hiphop.

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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#8 geoilersgist
July 24 2012, 08:54PM
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Yak money money!! now if only i was useful with photoshop

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#9 John Chambers
July 24 2012, 09:54PM
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Didn't the Lord of The Rinks Photoshop win a while back? Y'know the one with Eberle as Frodo and Tambellini as Gollum. Or did I just dream that up?*

*sweet Tambellini Gollum dreams

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#10 Dave
July 24 2012, 10:17PM
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Liking rap is a character flaw, all players who do like rap should not be drafted nor traded for.

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#11 NamelessNed
July 24 2012, 10:59PM
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Stewie Griffin Bling!!! nice Beebs

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#12 justDOit
July 24 2012, 11:25PM
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That p0rn video has the worst music I've ever heard!

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#13 Bicepus Maximus - Huge fan boy!
July 24 2012, 11:25PM
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In the last month, I quit my job and bought a new macbook. Got nothin but time and resources. Coincidence? I don't think so!

I'M GONNA PHOTOSHOP THE S#IT OUTTA THIS BI*CH!

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#14 kdunbar
July 24 2012, 11:59PM
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@ John Chambers

It is number five on this list from the last contest...

http://oilersnation.com/2011/7/1/smyth-photoshop-contest-entries

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#15 Smythyyyy
July 25 2012, 12:39AM
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Funny seeing that H.O.P.E. graphic. Now that Omark seems to be out of the picture, should it now be H.Y.P.E (Hall, Yakupov, Pajaarvi, Eberle)... I guess RNH is the guy in the fab 4, so is that RHYE ...er, I was never really good at scrabble..

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#16 Reg Dunlop
July 25 2012, 03:17AM
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Like Max Powers I know nothing about photoshop. I do, however, know about dry-humping at Chez Pierre's. If that dive is still in operation, I'm going downtown to drop $20 on some fine trim.

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#17 pelhem grenville
July 25 2012, 05:27AM
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@Reg...the place was still rockin' two months ago but beware it's still filled with late night lapdances for all the under the table drinkin' coppers fresh off night shift ...

... I once tossed a dwarf at 'ol Chez Pierre's

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#18 pelhem grenville
July 25 2012, 05:31AM
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hey reg...ever toss a dwarf at chez pierres? it was all the rage there in the 80's

...we be H.Y.P.E.N. wouldn't we? b?

I still miss Ender...

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#19 pelhem grenville
July 25 2012, 05:33AM
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so that was an adventure with the not so double post ...wutzup with this early morning action on ON?

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#20 Romulus' Apotheosis
July 25 2012, 07:51AM
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there's nothing wrong with rap/hip-hop... but that's not what Wanye likes. he likes party music.

this is rap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAMy2wgwVh0

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#21 slats
July 25 2012, 08:54AM
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justDOit wrote:

That p0rn video has the worst music I've ever heard!

I thought that video was quite refreshing and innovative . . . Young guy with his posse, hanging out at a nice club, throwing cash around at some hot ladies, wearing MLB/NBA gear .... I think he's on to something here like the last 5,000 rap videos I have ever watched.

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#22 Corey Hart's Sunglasses
July 25 2012, 09:10AM
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I hope Yak doesn't go to Diamonds or Eden and toss all his money from his paycheque like that.

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#23 John Chambers
July 25 2012, 09:42AM
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@ Romulus

Ahh, classic J5.

This is also high-quality rap courtesy of a couple Brooklyn poets: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeTnog5RRQo

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#24 vetinari
July 25 2012, 09:55AM
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Rap... hip-hop... what is this stuff you speak of? Isn't that what convicted tattooed felons and NBA players listen to? Strangely enough, isn't that an overlapping demographic pool?

The Nail is barely legal to drive, let alone live the "gangsta" lifestyle. And what would the Nuge think? THE NUGE?

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#25 Romulus' Apotheosis
July 25 2012, 10:00AM
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@John Chambers

You Sir, are a scholar and a gentleman.

I'll save the rest of the posters an infinite series of youtube posts... but here's a couple summer treats:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw1xKlAkywo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to3y3cmWWRY

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#26 Reg Dunlop
July 25 2012, 10:06AM
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@pelham grenville

I never tossed a dwarf there but I got a gummer from my wife in the private room.

Do hockey players make it rain at nudie bars or do they make it snow? Nation faithful only make it hail (loonies).

@vetinari

Rap demographic also includes 18 year old caucasian males from upper middle class homes pretending to be from the mean streets.

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#27 Renato Pagnani
July 25 2012, 11:01AM
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@Romulus' Apotheosis

As a rap critic and music writer, I feel compelled to chime in and say that Tyga and "Rack City" is as much "real rap" or "real hip-hop" as the boring revivalists Jurassic 5, or Black Star, or whatever anti-mainstream politically-correct pap you guys are claiming is "real hip-hop."

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#28 Reg Dunlop
July 25 2012, 11:07AM
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@Renato Pagnani

Thanks ever so much for clarifying that, but WHO CARES?

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#29 Renato Pagnani
July 25 2012, 11:09AM
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Rap nerds who are Oilers fans like me.

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#30 Romulus' Apotheosis
July 25 2012, 11:24AM
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@Renato Pagnani

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i5klUrNPQI

here's your "anti-mainstream politically-correct pap"! (haha):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec9vUmfZk8o

enjoy your Tyga!!

ps. If I wanted party music I would have preferred this Tiga:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKPolaCOajQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5hSGT5c6fM

pps. sorry everyone else... how bout that Yak!?

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#31 Dutchscooter
July 25 2012, 11:48AM
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Wait a minute....has anyone realized that with the addition of Yakupov and the inevitable deletion of Omark we have gone from HOPE to HYPE?

Is this a bad sign?

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#32 Renato Pagnani
July 25 2012, 11:48AM
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@Romulus' Apotheosis

Hey, I like Edan and Black Star and even some Jurassic 5, too, I'm just saying that that sort of rap is not the end-all be-all, or some ideal, of rap music. There's nothing inherently inferior about what Tyga's doing is all.

Back to Oilers:

YAK CITY, BITCH! YAK YAK CITY, BITCH!

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#33 RedTide
July 25 2012, 12:10PM
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This is some tight rap

http://youtu.be/2SD92d-zpUw

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#34 David S
July 25 2012, 02:23PM
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Hmmm...new photshop contest at the Nation huh? ...I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!*

Mwa-haha! *Strokes chin* Mwa-hahaha! Mwa-hahahahaha!**

*"Crush you all" meaning "place a solid 7th out of 9 entries"

**Office Doctor Evil laugh

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#35 vetinari
July 25 2012, 02:29PM
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Ummm... I know that Nail seems pretty easy-going and all that, but does the rap photoshop challenge kinda fit in with that whole Muslim thing he has going on?

Sometimes those dudes have a different interpretation of acceptable social practices and using their image/religious texts/etc. in certain ways... ask Salman Rushdie... things like that... just asking...

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#36 2:00 AM
July 25 2012, 05:09PM
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Does anyone else enjoy Jordan Nugent-Hallkins user picture? I remember that before it was renney doing a derp face, now its kruger. LOve it!

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#37 David S
July 25 2012, 08:56PM
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vetinari wrote:

Ummm... I know that Nail seems pretty easy-going and all that, but does the rap photoshop challenge kinda fit in with that whole Muslim thing he has going on?

Sometimes those dudes have a different interpretation of acceptable social practices and using their image/religious texts/etc. in certain ways... ask Salman Rushdie... things like that... just asking...

He plays hockey good - that's all that matters. 2012 here bud, not 1960.

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#38 vetinari
July 25 2012, 09:22PM
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David S wrote:

He plays hockey good - that's all that matters. 2012 here bud, not 1960.

You're missing the point... I'm talking about being respectful about someone's religious and personal beliefs and maybe factoring that into whatever someone decides to create with their entry...

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#39 David S
July 25 2012, 11:02PM
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vetinari wrote:

You're missing the point... I'm talking about being respectful about someone's religious and personal beliefs and maybe factoring that into whatever someone decides to create with their entry...

*Crumples up latest sketch. Throws it onto growing pile on the floor. Curses political correctness.*

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