Most important holes Canucks need to fill

Graphic Comments
May 29 2012 03:42PM

Canucks have holes to fill

With almost a full week off between hockey games, talk in Canuckville has turned to pressing off-season needs. And there are a number of them. With Mike Gillis floating the idea of keeping both Luongo and Schneider, there's a pretty sizeable hole in the goalie budget looming. (Insert Luongo/hole joke here) And I'm sure we can all safely agree that Keith Ballard is not going to fill the hole on the blue line left by the departure of Christian Ehrhoff. But if there's one thing that's clear, it's that Alain Vigneault needs to go back into radio silence mode. Ouch. That was some first day back, Alain.

But this is just the start of the NHL's silly season...

With more and more players finding themselves with free time on their hands, cash in their pockets and a camera on their smart phone, they're taking to Twitter to give the rest of us a peek into the Lifestyles of the Rich and Eliminated. On one end of the spectrum, we have Patrick Kane being, er, Patrick Kane. On the other end, we have Dave Bolland telling us about "another amazing weekend and the cottage" and Paul Bissonnette's continuing adventures in Las Vegas, including an "above average day at the pool."

Well, boys, enjoy those "above average" days off the ice in May because they were only possible due to the below average days on the ice (er, or in the press box, as the case may be) in April. Because if you have enough of those, one day the gravy train is going to stop:

Suddenly, the good days ended

And if you take a look at BizNasty's entire body of work on Twitter, especially gems like this, it really does make you wonder, which one is the parody account again?

So, which one is the parody account again? 

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I'm not a hippie or on welfare. I don't live in Kits, wear Birkenstocks or own an umbrella. I've never been to the Capilano Suspension Bridge, but I'm sure it's very nice. I have a mayor, not a crack addict. I drink pale ale, not Blue. And I call it a cabin, not a cottage. I can proudly say my team's been to the Stanley Cup Final in the last 45 years. They may not have won, but at least they got there. I believe in sunshine, not haze; heat, not humidity. And that sushi is a healthy and tasty meal. A coho is a fish. A ski hill is a mountain. And the plural of leaf is leaves. Okay? Not leafs. Leaves! Vancouver is the country's third-largest city, certainly the most beautiful, and the best part of Canada! My name is petbugs and I am a Canucks fan! ... You can find me on Twitter @petbugs13 or send your hate mail to petbugs (at) gmail (dot) com but it better be funny or it's getting plonked.
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#1 Geri Facca
May 29 2012, 05:32PM
Trash it!
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:-)

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